Surviving the Storm
by gabbyromig
Summary: Stef goes to catch a rapist and ends up falling victim after losing the upper hand. Will she admit to what happened or will the threats on her family be enough to keep her quiet. How will she handle what happened? How will her family help her get through and survive the storm. Warnings: contains rape(obviously)and self harm. Don't like, don't read. Like, review please
1. Chapter 1

Stef

A clock ticked out the seconds and I layed on the cold floor counting too preoccupy myself. I need to keep my mind busy or I will end up freaking out and that's never good.

"Thirty, thirty one, thirty two…" I said and heard a door open. I flinched at the sound and scolded myself for it. I shouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he scares me.

"Get up" yelled the man as he uncuffed me and I did as told knowing better than to argue. He threw my police shirt at me and told me to put it on, a gun pointed to my head.

"You didn't find me and nothing happened, you hear?" he asked in a southern accent I have heard before. I nodded obediently and left. I tried to appear calm as I got into the car. My coworker looked over at me and I shook my head. I know he was tied down or something and let go right before me probably with the same strict orders as me.

"I'm fine. Lets just go back to the station" I said but he didn't seem convinced.

"You should be taken to a hospital" he said and I rolled my eyes.

"No! We are going back to the station" I said.

"But…" he said.

"I said we are going back to the station" I yelled tears in my eyes and then blinked them away.

"Besides nothing happened there's no reason to go to the hospital" I said and he nodded but didn't seem convinced. The car became awkwardly silent as we drove back to the station. I checked in the mirror to make sure that I looked normal.

"Stef" he said but I glared at me.

"Hey nothing happened, got it" I said in a voice leaving no room to argue. He's a rookie, he shouldn't give me much trouble with listening to me.

Lena

Stef came home and I could immediately tell something was wrong. Her back was too rigid as she walked and she had on a smile that said 'Just smile and hope people believe it's real.'

"Hey babe" I said to her worried. I know Stef always tries to mask her bad days but will normally tell me once we were alone. Besides I don't want too worry the kids.

"Hey love, hey babies" she said but the words were rushed together like she was worried if she said it any slower someone might pick up on the fact that she wants to cry.

She walked over and got a beer from the fridge and took a long sip of it. I rubbed her back hopefully giving her some comfort. I know she's not ready to talk about it and trying to rush her never helps matters.

"How was work?" I asked hoping not to make this harder on her. I saw a look of panic and sadness come across her face but she got a grip on it and put the mask back on before long.

"Uneventful" she said and I forced a smile.

"Good I like those days" I said honestly. I hate thinking about all the ways her job has hurt her. How many times it has brought her close to death.

We tried to keep up the charade but i don't think anyone is really buying it. We listened too everyone teasing each other and Stef tried to do it too since she's normally the one who does it most but she sat there quietly for most of the supper. I noticed that she barely touched her meal. She's really starting to worry me and I took her hand under the table but she pulled away a bit. She also pulled away a bit when I kissed her when she first came home. Yeah something is really wrong.

We got upstairs and she went to go get ready for bed. I watched as she grabbed her pajamas and hesitated before taking her own clothes off. She didn't even strip all the way down just too bra and underwear but she quickly put her pajamas on. She almost seemed like she felt violated. Ok what's going on.

"Hey can we talk?" I asked and she sighed.

"Sure" she said sounding a little panicky.

"What happened today?" I asked once she was facing me again.

"Nothing" she said defensively.

"Stefanie?"I asked.

"We had a bit of a hard case today and we didn't catch the guy yet" she said but i knew it wasn't just that but at the same time I could tell she wasn't lying.

"What has he done?" I asked and she looked down.

"He's raped four women" she said and I got even more worried. She just acted like she felt violated by getting changed in front of me and she's looking to catch a rapist. How could I not think the worst.

"What?" I asked.

"FBI is taking over" she said almost sounding relieved.

"Is he in San Diego?" I asked.

"He's been all over California for the last two months and we believe he is in San Diego now" she said.

"They will catch him" she said but she sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

"It's terrible" I said hating too think of those poor girls.

"So should we be worried about our own safety?" I asked and she sighed. I'm sure she's been answering this question all day.

"I mean be careful but cops are covering everywhere and some FBI officers are covering high risk areas." she said but it sounded scripted like I said she's been saying it all day.

"Ok well hopefully they catch him soon, those poor girls." I said and she nodded almost looking guilty. As a cop she feels responsible every time someone does something terrible and she couldn't stop it.

"It's not your fault, you know. You can't expect yourself to find him" I said and she just forced a smile. I made a conscious note to self too keep an eye on her for a while and look out for any weird behavior.

Brandon

My mom has been acting weird all day and it's a bit concerning. I'm used too my mom coming home and trying to cover up the fact that she got hurt that day at work. I can't count how many times it happened in my childhood, with my dad too. But this is different. She's barely talking, she doesn't seem to be eating, and something is really wrong.

Stef

I don't know what to do. Part of me knows I should go forward and say what happened but his words keep repeating in my ears. How he told me in detail how he would kill not only me but my family. My cop instincts tell me too tell them after all he's probably bluffing, my wife/mom instincts is telling me to keep my mouth shut. At the end of the day i'm more a mom and wife than a cop. I have devotion to keep my city safe but I more importantly have a devotion to keep my family safe.

**A few announcements:**

**I have first three chapters done, but won't put the next up untill I have some reviews. **

**Hope you like it**.


	2. Chapter 2

Stef

I looked though victim report after victim report and I blinked the tears away. He's definitely a man of habit. The four victims all had eerie things in common. All four girls where average height (about 5'7"), blonde, and the weirdest part is they had some form of job of authority. Which is weird for a rapist, they are normally cowards. The eeriness continued though. All of the woman reported that he let them loose, which is weird in itself, after threatening to kill their family. They all had a spouse, three out of four had a wife, and at least two kids. This is a hate crime.

_I knew that before though, when I was their. _I thought as my mind traveled back to that terrible place.

_I was driving down the main street when I was starting to notice a particular car has followed us for a long time. Who follows a cop car?_

"_What is it?" Jameson my new rookie asked._

"_Someone is following us" I said looking into the mirror. He looked back and saw the car that is riding our ass. First of all he is dangerously close and if I was behind him I would pull him over for it. Second he's been doing it for at least a half an hour._

"_We are on a street of course someone is following us" he said and I rolled my eyes and glared at him._

"_No like he's followed us for a half an hour and he's riding our ass" I said feeling anxious about it. Something is wrong with this guy if he's following a cop, and I don't think it's going to end well. Also if I need to slam on the brakes real quick he's gonna go right through us. _

"_I'm gonna pull off" I warned him as I found a good spot to pull off and pulled off. The guy following us angrily honked on the horn but continued to drive. I pulled out after him and turned the sirens on having enough of his game. _

"_You're pulling him over?" he asked shocked._

"_He was way too close when he was behind us" I said but he didn't pull over. The guy kept driving at a normal speed but made no effort to pull over. What is wrong with this guy. _

"_What the hell" I cursed and we followed him until he pulled into a driveway. He got out of his car calmly and turned around smiling cockily at me._

_I got out of the car and had my gun pulled and Jameson did the same._

"_It's nice to finally meet you for real, Stefanie" he said sending chills down my spine. I know I have a name tag on but it only has Foster on it. _

_Than something else hit me and I watched as it hit Jameson too. He's the rapist that been all around California. Cops all around California have gotten together to get a state-wide search for this man. Each victim had gave a description of him and the sketch artist's sketch of him looks like it could be this guys identical twin. I glared at rookie telling him not to request backup yet, I can see this man has at least two guns on him. _

"_Lets go inside" he said walking towards the door. _

"_Stop right there" Jameson ordered and I watched as this guy turns around and got his gun out and pointed it too his head. _

"_I don't think you understand, officer" he said too Jameson._

"_This isn't about you. This is between me and Stefanie, now don't be rude" he said like he was talking to a child that just interrupted his parents having an adult conversation._

"_Isn't it Stefanie? We wouldn't want anything bad happening too you're family now would we" he threatened. _

"_Now here's what's going to happen. We are going to put those guns away and Jameson you are going to be good and go give us some privacy. I need too talk too Stefanie over a cup of tea" he said still sounding calm and in-charge. He almost sounded sophisticated about how he said it. _

_Something about him told me not to argue, like he has someone with guns too my families head and every move I make might be a death sentence for my wife and kids. _

_I glared at Jameson as if to say 'do as told and call for backup when you are alone'. God I hope he understands. I hate to think my life, his life, and even worse possibly my families life is in this fresh outta high school rookie who doesn't really know what he's doing. I put my gun away and watched as Jameson did it too._

"_Good I hate the sight of a gun in a beautiful womans hand" he said and continued to walk towards the door. He opened it and smiled at me._

"_Ladies first" he said and I walked into the house. He looked at Jameson and smiled at him._

"_Guest always go in first, it's good etiquette." he said matter-of -factly as if educating Jameson on good manners._

_Jameson walked in after me and then the guy followed._

"_Ok good. Now me and my wife have a no gun policy in this house, I hope you understand" he said pointing to a box where he took his guns out and took the bullets out putting them in the box. We both did the same, me not wanting to upset the man who might have control over whether my family lives or dies and Jameson just following the actions of his older cop._

"_Great now the real fun can start" he said and for a second looked like a child about to open presents on christmas morning. _

"_Can I offer you a drink sir?" he asked Jameson who shook his head._

"_No thank you" he said. The guy pointed to a door._

"_Bathroom is just through that door. Take you're time" he said and the last sentence was a command. Jameson walked to the bathroom and he followed him and then locked the door from the outside._

_He turned around and smiled at me._

"_Oh come sweetie. My wife has a fresh pot of tea made." he said putting his hand on my back and leading me into the kitchen. He made what is suppose to be small talk and I got him too tell me his name is George, but it might be fake. After a while he got impatient and dismissed himself. He went back to where he's keeping Jameson and was back there for a while and came back with his walkie-talkie from his uniform._

"_Don't worry babe. No one will be interrupting us, I had him call off the dogs" he said and I forced a smile. _

"_Oh good" I said and he pulled me up and took my back into his room. He commanded me to take off the hideous uniform and went on a rant about how in the good old day women didn't work and they knew their place by a mans side._

Mike interrupted my thoughts before it got really bad.

"Where did you go, Stef?" he asked looking worried.

"Just zoned out" I said and walked away from him. I called Lena too check on her and the kids. I have become a little paranoid since that happened. I have called her many times since It happened. Including right after it did too make sure there wasn't people with guns to their heads but she sounded like nothing happened, and I would be able to tell if there was.

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Next chapter will be up tomorrow, I'm up to chapter five so they should be up pretty quickly.**


	3. Chapter 3

Callie

I know the signs and Stef has all of them. I have been through it myself and I hate thinking that my mom endured it too. I knew what happened since before I learned that their is a rapist causing chaos in our town. I haven't said anything, because I want so desperately to be wrong. I want it to be anything other than rape. I hate that word and I wouldn't wish it on my greatest enemy so it tears me apart too think my mom went through it too. I don't want to think of it. I don't want to think of the day it happened too me. How long should I keep quiet about this?

I know Stef is the type of person to do what she has too for the sake of her family, she's hiding it for a reason. I know she can't do this for long through. I tried to hide it from Jude but he noticed I wasn't myself so I had to try and act as normal as possible too keep it from him. I think he knows something terrible happened but I don't know if he knows what. I haven't had the courage to sit him down and explain.

Lena

She hasn't been herself at all. Everything she said sounds scripted and rehearsed, and that's when she talks which is rare. She's barely touched her food and Mike confirmed that she's acted this way at work. She's stayed up at night, refusing to sleep she's either picked up extra shifts trying to make her city safe from this rapist or found something she's needed to do at home that's more important than getting sleep.

"Babe, what's going on?" I asked and she looked up from the bills.

"Currently? Paying the government because we like most Americans are drowning in debt" she said and I shook my head.

"You know what I mean" I said and she shook her head.

"No I don't, that's what I'm doing and you are going to burn the chicken" she said and I grabbed the chicken from the oven.

"That's what I meant. You're not sleeping…" I started and she sighed.

"It's overrated, I don't need it" she said and I grabbed her mug.

"That's because this is your third cup" I said looking into the empty mug that once had coffee in it. She shrugged.  
>"You haven't been eating either" I stated and she wasn't even looking at me she's busy paying the bills.<p>

"That's what the coffee is for. All the nourishment I need" she joked and I rolled eyes.

"Stefanie, I'm serious." I warned.

"I'm fine, love. Just stressed with work and this crap" she said getting up and throwing the bills on the table looking frustrated.

"Honey it's bills we have always had to pay them" I said but shook her head.

"Well not with five kids, we didn't" she yelled.

"Stop it. You don't yell stuff like that. What if Jude or Callie heard you?" I said and she sighed.

"They are out" she pointed out.

"Still, don't raise your voice at me" I said and she sighed.

"Sorry" she said. I know she's dealing with something and that is why she's acting out but if she's going to insist on not telling me she's not going to take her frustrations out at me or the kids.

"We are fine for money" I said but she rolled her eyes.

"Fine for money? You mean we aren't quite drowning in debt yet" she said and I sighed.

"We always make it work" I told her.

"Whatever" she said going and grabbing a granola bar.

"Happy now?" she asked and I nodded having enough.

Stef

I feel terrible, I shouldn't have yelled at Lena like that. I know she's just worried about me but I need her to stop asking questions. I grabbed a granola bar too hopefully get Lena too get off my back but when I went too actually eat it I stopped. The thought of eating makes me feel sick. I haven't eaten in almost three days and I haven't even had an appetite.

I hid the granola bar in one of my drawers and thought I would sneak it back in the box later and hopefully she won't catch me.

Mike

Stef has been acting very weird at work and I was about to call Lena and ask her about it when she called me asking if Stef is acting weird at work. Now Lenas calling me and I sighed knowing this can't be good. Normally Stef calls me if it's about Brandon so obviously it's about Stef.

"Hey Lena everything ok?" I asked.

"Not really can we get a cup of coffee or something. We really need too talk about Stef." she said like I knew she would.

"Yeah of course. I go on lunch break in thirty minutes does that work for you?" I asked.

"Perfect. I'll see you in a little bit." she said and I hung up.

In a half an hour I was at the nearest coffee shop in town and she walked in.

"Hey thanks for meeting me" she said and I nodded.

"So it's not stopping?" I asked and she shook her head.

"She hasn't slept or eaten in three days. She's barely even drinking, it doesn't make sense" she said and she's right that doesn't make any sense.

"You're right and I asked the guys and they said they haven't seen her eat and that she's been acting weird" I said.

"Is she moody at work?" she asked.

"Oh god she's terrible. She wasn't that bad pregnant with B" I said and she laughed shaking her head.

"Everyones walking on eggshells around her" I said and she nodded in agreement.

"She claims she's stressed with this case but I have never seen her get this bad" she said and I know it's more than that. Sure Stef gets like this when we have any case that puts people life or safety at risk but she's never been that bad.

"I have known her since she was a rookie and was constantly afraid she would do something wrong and she's never been that bad and we have had some bad cases" I confirmed.

"So something else has to be going on?" she asked but it sounded more for herself than for me.

"Yeah this isn't just about the case, or money or whatever somethings wrong" I said agreeing with her. She's ranted about her family not having enough money to me during one of her hissy fits.

"I mean sure she constantly worries about money but that's not the problem" she said trying to figure out what is.

"I mean if money is an issue I can pay more with child support" I said not wanting them to be having problems financially. They have five kids and are on a cop and vice-principal salary they have to be just making it.

"No! We are fine, but thank you. You know Stef is just always worried about something. Besides I guarantee that's not the real issue." she said.

"You know what, let me talk too Jameson. He was working with her when they thought they could get him but then claimed he just wasn't their." I said remember thinking that was shady. They called in that they probably have him but didn't request backup even though we were already on our way when they called in saying they were wrong and not to bother and they are just going too continue on their route. Stef has been acting odd since and Jameson has seemed like he feels guilty about something.

"What you don't think?" she said immediately looking even more worried and like she could cry at the very thought of it. Can't blame her if what i'm thinking actually happened he's going to be given hell the second I can get my hands on him.

"No, no" I lied not wanting too worry her when I could be dead wrong and just assuming the worst. Now that I think of it through it makes sense, too much sense.

"No I mean he's worked with her the most lately and he can tell us if he's noticed anything off before this case" I lied. 'And see if he's hiding what actually happened to her.' I haven't seen him since the day that weird situation happened and I haven't had a chance to interrogate him and see if he seems guilty. If he knows something and keeps it from us it can be punishable by jail time, and a lot of it too.

Lena

When he said about asking the guy that worked that day that they thought they would catch him I immediately got more worried. Of course the terrible thought has crossed my mind how could it not when she's acting weird and there's a rapist out there.I never really thought it would happen through but now that he practically said it it all makes sense. She's been obsessed with this case lately, sure that's also just how she gets with a case like this, but she's too obsessed with it. She hasn't slept since then, because she's afraid of having nightmares about it. She hasn't eaten which is probably just because of the stress of it all and the worst she feels violated all the time. She's even taken too changing before I get too the room, which is just weird because why would she need to do that if nothing happened. I have seen her naked so many times, why would she bother unless it's because of something like that. That can't be explained away by anything other than that.

Jameson

Should I tell captain? I know deep down I should but what if he's legit. What if he goes after Stef's family? I don't really have a family too threaten but I wouldn't want anything happening too Stefs. I really don't know what to do in this case. I was never taught what to do if we are taken hostage by a rapist and you're pretty sure you're partner was raped and you know he's threatened their family. Believe it or not that scenario was not brought up in training.

Maybe Stef will come forward herself? No she's too worried about her family. She's probably right, she's worked her for longer than I have been alive her instincts are probably better than mine. FBI is taking over and they will find them and once they do I will go tell Captain.

I just feel so bad for Stef, if she was working with a more experienced cop they probably would have gotten her out of it. Instead she was stuck with me and because of that she's probably been raped. How am I even suppose to live with this?

**I realize some people don't like this story, so don't read and don't leave bad reviews pretty simple. Anyways hope you like it. **


	4. Chapter 4

Stef

I was called into a crime scene were they believe they found the right guy. FBI got here yesterday so we are pretty much useless but they still call us in anyways. By the time I even got there the action was all over and they managed to get the guy. He smiled at me and I swallowed hard and turned the other way. I'm just glad he's been caught.

"You going to tell?" Jameson asked even though he doesn't really 'know' what happened but i'm sure he can guess.

"What's the point now" I said and got back in the cop car.

"Really? You don't think what happened to you is important?" he asked and I sighed.

"It's in the past, the guy was caught and he's going to do the time for what he has done" I said and he sighed.

"Do you really think we don't see through you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"You wife has practically hired your ex-man too interrogate me" he said and I groaned. I should have known they were working together on this.

"I'm just stressed" I said.

"Stressed? Do you really think for a second any of us believe that bull shit" he said and I shook my head.

"Whatever, why does it matter to you?" I asked having enough of this.

"Because I know what happened…" he started.

"No you don't!" I shouted feeling tears come too my eyes.

"No you weren't there, you don't know" I said and he nodded.

"You're right I don't. I do know that it was terrible and you are trying to keep it together and you don't have to" he said and I laughed humorlessly.  
>"You don't have kids, or even a wife. You don't know what it's like, I had to protect them" I said and he nodded.<p>

"I know, but he can't hurt you're family now." he said.

"Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself. I'll call Mike off his hunt" I said and he sighed but gave up.

I got home and Lena was sitting waiting for me, it's like two in the morning but she always does that.

"Hey did you get him?" she asked and I nodded. I feel terrible, have been all day. I'm constantly exhausted and honestly have been blacking out a little bit all day. I know she can see this.

Lena

Stef came home from the case and I'm so glad that they caught him, it's one less thing she needs to worry about and he needs to be in jail. I have never hated someone so much in my life and I know it's because he possibly hurt Stef.

"Are you ok?" I asked her taking her over to the couch noticing how weak she looks. She looks like she's going to pass out. Not that I'm shocked her body is going on no food, no sleep and very little water for the last three days. Her body is shutting down, and I need to get food and water into her right now.

"Here sit here, i'll get you something to eat and drink" I said to her hoping she doesn't try to argue. She didn't respond.

"I threw together a quick sandwich for her and poured a big glass of water and set it in front of her.

"You need to eat. I don't know what you're fasting over but you need to eat" I said handing the sandwich too her but she didn't seem convinced.

"Honey you can't do this, I know you are going through hell right now but you need to take care of yourself right now. Do you think me and the kids don't notice this?" I asked knowing that bringing the kids into it will make her more likely to eat. She won't do it too help herself than, she will do it for the sake of her kids.

She nodded and finally took the sandwich from my hand. I wrapped my arm around her knowing this isn't easy for her. After hearing what Mike implied I have spent a lot of today researching the physical and mental effects of rape. It's hard to read too say the least and I don't want to think about her going through any of it. I'm still hoping it's anything else, but it doesn't seem likely.

Anyways there was a section that talked about rape victims refusing to eat and drink. They believe it's from the amount of stress and interviewed rape victims claim it's hard to put anything in your body after that happens.

Thankfully she ate the sandwich but seemed actually sick from it and if it's not obvious very upset. She hasn't eaten anything for days i'm sure her digestive system is out of whack.

"It's ok" I said and she hugged me tears coming to her eyes.

"I love you" I said and she broke down completely. I don't know how to help her and that what kills me. None of that research said how to help a rape victim other than therapy. I need too know how to help her right now.

Once she slowed down I pulled back a little bit and kissed her on the cheek remembering when she pulled away from the kiss the other day.

"You can talk to me" I said hoping she's ready. I hope I'm ready to hear this, but I have to be for her sake.

"He said if I said anything that he would kill you and the kids" she said and i didn't even think about what he did too keep her quiet.

"Hey it's ok, we are all safe. He's in jail" I said taking her hand and squeezing it.

"I know..." she said. I know she wants to talk about it but I don't think she wants to say the word.

"Honey did he…?" I started to ask but I can't seem to say the word either. She just nodded in response and I pulled her into my arms.

"It's alright, we'll figure this out. Together, ok?" I said and she nodded.

"Why don't you drink a little of your water and than we can head upstairs." I said hoping she will. She nodded and drank half the cup of water before stopping. I smiled proud of her for doing it. She's been through hell and i'm determined to help her. I don't care how long it takes, i'm going to get her back on the right track.

"Thank you. Lets head upstairs" I said and we both got up and went to go upstairs. I know there's more too be talked about a lot more but right now I need too just be here for her.

"Once we got ready for bed, i went to brush my teeth while she changes knowing she needs the privacy, we crawled into bed together. It was great to have her in the bed again, she hasn't even attempted to sleep for days. Not even humoring me enough to get into bed at all.

"Can you try to sleep tonight?" I asked but I know she really doesn't want too.

"How about this. How about I stay awake for a while and if I see that you are having a nightmare I'll wake you" I asked hoping that she will give it a try. She seemed hesitant and I sighed.

"Honey you need to sleep" I said and I know she knows i'm right.

"Ok but you don't need to stay up" she said even though I know she wants me too.

"I will stay up, try to sleep." I said and she nodded turning around. I know she wants me to spoon her. I laid down and wrapped my arms around her and then kissed her. Glad we made some progress.

I couldn't sleep even after forever of just laying there. Stef fell asleep quickly due to the lack of sleep lately and luckily she didn't have any bad dreams. I stayed up through even hours later just thinking about everything. I hate thinking how scared she had to of been and that she felt like she had to keep it to herself.

I just laid there for the entire night and held her tears in my eyes the entire time. I know this is going to be a long road to recovery but I'm here for the ride, with her.

**Thank you for the nice encouraging reviews, it always nice to have some motivation from someone reading keeps me going. Let me know what you think of this chapter hope you like it.**


	5. Chapter 5

Stef

I woke up in Lenas arms and for a second everything felt fine. Than without warning everything came back too me and I sighed. Lena was asleep but I'm sure she just got too sleep. I laid there for a while not really wanting to disturb her and tried to think of anything else. The kids going to college, me and Lena's first date, the fact that a small part of me wants bacon and the other bigger part doesn't want too even smell food. Nothing kept my mind off it for long.

After a while she stirred and looked down at me smiling. I watched as her smile started real, when she was still asleep enough to forget what happened, turn into a fake (kind of pitying) smile when it hit her.

"Hey" she said kissing my cheek.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked worry in her voice.

"Yeah, did you?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"Fine" she lied.

"Guess we should go downstairs and not worry the kids" I said and she nodded.

"Yeah, any request for breakfast?" she asked gently reminding me I need to keep eating.

"I'm not hungry yet" I said awkwardly.

"Honey" she said and I know she's going too at least enforce me eating something.

I sighed but gave in anyways, "Bacon?" i asked.

"Sure" she said shocked. I'm sure I could have said pretty much anything and she would agree too it because she's happy I agreed to eat.

We went downstairs and most of our kids were already downstairs.

Lena

"Mom you are going to be late" Brandon reminded me at the sight of me not even out of pajamas.

"I'm calling in sick" I said without hesitation. I just can't leave Stef alone yet, and she's not going to work (even if she wants too). Stef gave me a weird look.

"You both are?" Mariana asked confused.

"Yes" I said before Stef could speak. They all exchanged looks and I got my phone out too call off and I watched as Stef shocked did the same.

"What's for breakfast?" Jesus asked.

"Pancakes and bacon, sound good?" I asked and they all nodded happy.

I cooked up the pancakes and bacon, hoping Stef will actually eat. It wasn't long before I heard Stef get up from her chair and run for the bathroom. Next thing I heard was her puking and I ran after he shocked. She's not actually sick is she? Yesterday she was really bad but I just thought that was due to lack of food and sleep. Maybe the lack of food and sleep actually made her sick?

I shut the door knowing she won't want the kids too see her like this, and nor would the kids. I pulled her hair back and rubbed her back until she finally stopped puking.

"You ok?" I asked kissing her cheek and she nodded.

"Ok why don't you go upstairs and brush your teeth and get into bed. I will make something that will be easier on your stomach." I said and she nodded getting up and going upstairs and I went to finish breakfast. I saved it right before it would have burned and fed the kids before sending them off to school.

"You ok?" I asked Stef who was in bed when I got back up too the room.

"Fine" she said.

"Did you feel sick this morning?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No, the smell of bacon made me feel sick" she said confusing me.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah" she said and I wondered if it's just because of her not wanting to eat after what happened. I'm sure it is.

"Well when you're stomach is a little better I will make you that potato soup you like" I said and she nodded.

Jameson

I knocked on captains door. I know Stef wants me to stay quiet but her family is safe and I can't keep this to myself anymore. She needs help, whether she likes it or not.  
>"Come in" she said and I entered.<p>

"Oh hey Stephanie's off sick, didn't I put you with David?" she asked and I nodded.

"Yes you did, we where just about to go. I just need too talk too you first" I said closing the door getting her attention.

"Is everything ok?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I should've told you…" I started and she looked at me worried.

"What happened, officer?" she asked seriously.

"When we called saying that we might have found the rapist, we did find him. He followed us and eventually we chased him back to his house and he had two guns and was threatening Stef's family and Stef made the choice to go along with what he said and…" I started and she looked at me shocked.

"Why am I just hearing about it now?" she asked.

"He's threatened to kill our families if we said anything" he said and she sighed shaking her head.

"What happened too Stef?" she asked catching on about what had happened.

"I don't know the details but i'm sure it happened" I said and she leaned forward putting her head in her hands and sighing of frustration.

"It's terrible, unfortunately it explains how she's been acting lately. I need too know all that happened that day." she commanded.

I explained what happened at the beginning and she interrupted me when I got too the part of being put into the bathroom.

"You called saying you might have found him, why didn't you ask for backup?" she asked almost sounding a bit accusing.

"He would get up and walked down the hall to check for noise. He eventually came in told me to call off 'the pigs' and handcuffed me and took away my walkie-talkie. Than he randomly came back a while later and let me go gave me my stuff back after telling me he would kill mine and Stefs family if I said anything and told me too go too the car and wait for Stef." I explained and she nodded.

"Why didn't you shoot him in the beginning?" she asked and I knew that question was coming. I was shocked Stef didn't shoot him.

"Stef kept giving me the look telling me to do as told, I just assumed she had a good reason for it" I said knowing it is probably not a good enough excuse.

"Stef probably thought he had a partner holding her family, it happened too a fellow cop that she was close too." she explained. I figured she did and honestly with how crazy that guy was we didn't know he didn't. He could have had someone else have her family, he knew her. He had too of stalked her a little bit.

"I think so, she called her wife immediately after and luckily they weren't being held." I said and she nodded.

"Why didn't you take her to a hospital?" she asked and I know I don't have a good enough excuse for that.

"She told me not too" I said feeling terrible and she just stared at me for a second before groaning.

"Stef is a good cop too look up too. Her judgement call in that case was wrong but at least she didn't risk her families life. She's not always right. Yes it's good to listen to her but sometimes you need to say no" she said and I nodded feeling terrible.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow and call Lena and see if she is aware of what's going on. Thank you for telling me next time come to me a little sooner" she said dismissing me.

Lena

Once I got her to eat some soup I attempted to talk her into going to the hospital. She needed to go to the hospital four days ago.

"Honey you should have went the day it happened" I argued but she doesn't seem convinced.

"I'm fine" she said but I glared at her.

"Stef, you need to be checked." I argued hoping she will just give in. She didn't seem to be budging.

"Babe, i'm so worried about you. Please" I said hoping this method would work and luckily she sighed and finally agreed.

I drove her to the hospital, she even tried to argue with me over that but I wasn't going to let her behind the wheel when I'm still not convinced she's not a faint risk, and sat with her in the waiting room. My phone rang and I got it out of her pocket. I saw that Stefs captain was calling me. Ok that's weird.

"Hello" I said hoping she doesn't have something new too tell me.

"Hey Lena." she said sounding like she has too tell me something she doesn't want too. Please let it not be something I don't know.

"Is everything alright?" I asked concerned still holding Stefs hand.

"Um… Stefs partner told me that they were taken by Carter, the rapist…" she started and I can tell she doesn't know I know.

"Yeah, I know about that…" I started and heard her sigh of relief.

"Oh good, I mean not that it happened just that she told someone." she said to clarify.

"Yeah I know, she didn't tell me until yesterday. I have her at the hospital now" I said and she sighed.

"Good she needs to see someone. If you can try and persuade her to stay home it would be great, I don't want too tell her that she can't come but she shouldn't be working right now" she said and I agree with her.

"No promises" I said and she laughed.

"Yeah i'm so sorry about what happened, please make sure she is ok" she said and i told her I would.

"Captain?" she asked sensing that it was her.

"Yeah" I said. I know she didn't want people to know what happened but it's not going to work that way.

"Stefanie Foster" A nurse said and we both stood up. I can tell she's nervous so I took her hand.

We told the nurse what happened and she nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry. We will have to do an MRI to make sure you don't have an concussion. We need to do a blood test to check for STD's, and an ultrasound…" she said listing off two problems that never crossed either of our minds. STDs? An ultrasound? So much has happened we haven't even thought about either of those possibilities. Stef looked at me and I smiled at her.

"It's ok" I said hoping to reassure her but I'm not convinced it is either. I know today is going to be really hard for her. For one she hates getting shots let alone giving blood and I know she's nervous about that. Second what are we going to do if either of those test are positive?

**Ok I need to know what you want to happen. Which test if any should be positive? I don't want too give Stef an STD although it's realistic, and the pregnancy could be an interesting addition to the story. I'm not sure what to do so make up my mind for me. Hope you like it. Also as of right now you are caught up too were I am writing wise.**


	6. Chapter 6

Stef

I don't know what to do. What if either of those test come back positive? What am I going to do than.

"Babe? Are you ok?" she asked taking my hand.

"What if they are positive?" I asked and she rubbed her thumb along the back of her hand.

"We will figure out what to do if it happens" she said because I don't think she knows the answer either which isn't really reassuring. She saw the look on my face and sighed.

"Honey whatever happens i'm here" she said and I kissed her.

The nurse came back in in a little bit.

Lena

I feel so bad for Stef. I can't imagine how she would feel if either of those tests come back positive. I just hope they both come back negative and we can have less to worry about. No matter what this is just the start of a long battle but I know it will be harder to fight if either or even worse both of those where to happen.

She was taken to give blood first and I grabbed her hand to give her some comfort. She looked over at me avoiding looking at the nurse. I know she doesn't want too look at the needle. Before I knew what happened she passed out in the chair. I didn't even think about the fact that she hasn't been eating enough and giving blood would probably make her faint. She was taken up to a hospital room and I have no idea how long they will want to keep her now. I got my phone out and called Mike asking if he can look after the kids for a while. He didn't ask why he just agreed. I'm sure he can sense what's going on.

"You ok?" I asked her kissing her forehead. She's hooked up too a heart monitor and a drip just because she's dehydrated.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You fainted" I said taking her hand.

"Did they get enough blood?" she asked and I know she doesn't want to do it again. I shook my head.

"No sorry they want you too try again in 48 hours once you have enough food and water in you." I said.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"1:30, Mike is with the kids. They are worried but they will be fine" I said knowing she's worried about the kids more than herself.

"How long do I have to stay?" she asked.

"I don't know, baby. I think they will let you go soon if you eat and don't pass out. Also they still want to do the ultrasound" I said and she nodded.

"But first, food?" I asked and she nodded. I went to get her a cheeseburger and fries and grabbed her an apple knowing she should have some nutritious food but just getting her to eat is all I'm going to ask for for right now.

We sat and ate our lunch together and tried to talk about anything other than what is happening. We spent most of the meal reminiscing too keep her mind off of what is happening.

"No that's not what happened" she said denied laughing. It's the first time I have heard her laugh in about a week. I missed the sound so much.

"Yes it is, you were so drunk you ended up dancing on tables and embarrassing yourself and the kids" I said and she shook her head.

"No I didn't get that drunk" she denied.

"Yes you did" I said laughing at her.

"No! I don't remember it" she said and I laughed harder at her.

"Yes, because you were that drunk" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever I'm not the only one. What about when you got totally wasted and tried to undress me and the kids saw it" she said and I laughed.

"We don't speak of that" I said laughing and she rolled her eyes. The supper was amazing. It was great too have the distraction, we both needed it. Unfortunately it didn't last long enough and soon enough I was holding Stefs hand as the nurse put the machine up against her stomach.

Stef

After meeting Lena I never thought I would have another ultrasound in my life. The last time I had an ultrasound was a week before I miscarried when Brandon was two. I was so excited to have another kid and before long I had to deal with the fact that my baby didn't make it. I just remembered with both Brandon's and that ultrasound hearing the sound of the heartbeat was the most amazing thing. The thing that made it real. The sound that told me I was going to be a mother and it was a moment I will never forget.

I never thought I would dread an ultrasound so much but i'm actually shaking it has me so nervous. I clung too Lenas hand and she squeezed it tightly. I couldn't believe my ears when i heard the sound of the heartbeat. I didn't know how to feel. I can't believe this is happening. I looked over too see Lenas shocked expression. She looked down at me and she kissed me.

"It's ok" she said wiping the tear away from my eye. I didn't even notice I started crying. I didn't want too look at the screen I just want to get out of here. Part of me is actually happy, how could I not be when I heard the heartbeat. The other bigger part of me is about to freak out. I felt the raising panic hit me full force and Lena noticed this.

"Stop it" she said too the nurse who quickly shut off the machine. Lena quickly wiped the gel off my stomach and I got up and practically ran out of the room.

"Stef" Lena said following me. She followed me too the girls bathroom where I slid down to the floor just trying to catch my breath.

She sat down next to me and pulled me into her arm.

"Shh… just breathe. You are fine" she said rubbing my back.

Lena

Everything happened so quick. I wasn't expecting to hear a heartbeat and clearly neither was she. Than next thing I know Stef is starting to have a panic attack and I had to follow her too the closest bathroom. After several minutes of holding a panicked, crying, and struggling to breathe Stef she finally calmed down a bit.

"You ok?" I asked and she nodded. We went back to her room and after taking her temperature and heart rate she was allowed to go home. The doctor told me to try and get her to eat as close to the food triangle as possible but with more protein and carbs. She still has her appointment to give blood in two days and she has a follow up appointment in two weeks.

We got home and all the kids came to greet us glad we were home. Mike hung too the back as hugs were exchanged. The kids were obviously very worried about their mom and I think by now everyone kind of knows what happened to her. I could see it in their eyes, that they knew. I could see anger, sadness, worry, pity and fear in their eyes. I can tell Jesus is really angry and I can't blame him. I'm really mad at the guy who hurt her.

"Are you ok?" Jude asked worried.

"I'm fine, buddy." she said and she talked too the kids for a while. Me and Mike took a step back so that no one is listening to us.

"What happened?" he asked in a whisper.

"I took her to get checked, they wanted to do a blood test…" I started deciding not to say why. I don't want to embarrass her, that's pretty personal information.

"She fainted" I said and he looked worried.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

"Yeah she just needed more food before giving blood. She goes back to do that in two days" I said watching as she took comfort in talking too the kids.

"Everything else ok?" he asked and I sighed.

"We haven't gotten the results back from the MRI yet and…" I said and stopped. I still don't know what to think about her being pregnant. I don't know what to expect. Obviously it's up to her if she wants to have an abortion or not and I won't judge whatever she chooses to do. I don't know if Stef will be able to get an abortion, she's too much of a mom. I think she might have been able too if she just took a test and found out that way but when she heard the heartbeat I wouldn't be surprised if she couldn't. Either way it's going to be challenging for her.

"What is it?" he asked sensing that I might need too just talk about what just happened.

"She's pregnant" I said and he looked at shocked.

"What?" he asked.

"They wanted to do an ultrasound and well… she's pregnant" I said and he just shook his head.

"Oh my god, what is she gonna do?" he asked and I shook her head.

"I don't know but I don't know if she will be able to get an abortion" I said and he nodded.

"Thanks for staying with kids" I said and he shook his head.

"Of course just call me if you need me again." he said and went over and said goodbye too Stef and the kids. He left and I joined Stef and the kids. I wrapped my arms around Stef and I can tell by the looks on the kids faces that they all know and it's time to have a talk with them. I just feel bad for Stef. I gave Stef a look asking if it's ok with her too have a family meeting. She nodded, I think she just wants this over with.

"Ok lets all go sit down we need to talk" I said gesturing for the living room. I'm not going to bring up the pregnancy because she can still decide to get an abortion.

"So by now, i'm sure everyone knows what happened." I said taking Stef's hand.

"Are you ok?" Mariana asked worried. Stef smiled at her.  
>"I'm fine, honey" she said.<p>

"Why didn't you just shoot him?" Jesus asked and I gave him the look. I'm sure she has her reasons for not using her gun to defend herself and I wish he wouldn't make her explain herself.

"He threatened you're guys life, I didn't know he didn't have a partner who wasn't holding you" she said and I looked over at her. I'm not surprised, I know she would do anything for her family but she got raped too keep us safe. This explains so much. Two years ago a friend of hers from the station family was threatened and he had a partner in crime holding them at gun shot. Luckily no one dead, but it strongly affected her. She knows her job can put her life in danger but that made her realize it may put ours in danger too.

"What do we do now?" Brandon asked.

"Well obviously Stef isn't at her best right now so we need too all be here for her but other than that we are going to try and move on with life as normal" I said looking over at Stef who nodded.

"I'm fine, really" she said not wanting the kids too worry about her.

"Ok well if their isn't questions supper will be done in a bit go do your homework" I said dismissing them and they all got up except for Callie. I steeled myself to help Callie too. How did I get to the point where I have a daughter whos been raped and a wife?

"You ok, Callie?" Stef asked.

"I should've said something when I saw the signs I was just hoping that it was anything else" she said as if feeling bad. I hate that Callie has been through it too know the signs.

"No honey it's ok. I'm fine" Stef said.

"I know you're not. I didn't have anyone I could tell and it was the worst thing and I shouldn't have let you do the same" she said and Stef got up and hugged her.

"Hey it's ok, you have us now." she said hugging the borderline crying girl.

"I know… I just should have been their for you" she said and she immediately shook her head.

"No baby. It's never your job too take care of me or you're mom. I choose to keep quiet too keep you guys safe and i told Lena as soon as we caught him." she said even though I don't think she was planning on it.

"I'm here too take care of her ok? That's not your job, Callie. You can always come to us" I said rubbing her back. Maybe they could really help each other. I don't know what Stef or Callie has been though but I know they can relate to each other and maybe help each other out a lot.

"Ok well if you want to talk i'm here" she said and I smiled at her. She's such a sweet girl, she has always put others before herself.

"Thank you, and you can always come too me or mama ok?" Stef asked and I nodded in agreement. Callie nodded and left and I turned around too Stef.

"She's so much like you." I said and she smiled sadly.

"I wish she wasn't" she said and I know she means I wish she didn't have too be because she's been through terrible things.

"I know but maybe you two can be good for each other." I said and she sighed.

"She's sixteen, she shouldn't know what it's like" she said and I nodded.

"No one should. It's terrible that these things happened. I'm just saying it's good that you have each other" I said and she nodded.

"I guess so. What are we going to do?" she asked as we went in too think of what to make for supper.

"How about just ordering pizza?" I asked knowing everyone could use some comfort food.

"Sounds great too me" she said. I made a quick call and ordered what everyone likes and they told us it would be a half an hour.

"So what do you want too do?" I asked her.

"Eat pizza" she said and I laughed.

"I'm glad you got your appetite back. I meant what do you want too about the pregnancy?" asked and she looked down. I know it's what she was asking about the first time.

"What is their to do?" she asked and I hugged her from behind.

"Well I mean… there's always abortion" I asked and she shook her head.

"No! No I can't…" she said trailing over obviously very upset.

"Ok, ok forget I said it" I said kissing her. I thought she wouldn't want to do it but I didn't expect her to immediately dismiss it.

"I can't. Not after I heard the heartbeat" she said as if she has to defend her choice.

"Hey, it's ok. I get it. I just wanted you to know you had a choice" I said and she looked down.

"Are you ok with that?" she asked and I smiled at her.

"Of course, I am. I support you no matter what you choose to do" I said and she sighed.

"I just can't" she said tears in her eyes.

"I'm not expecting you too. Consider the conversation over." I said and she nodded as I kissed her pulling her into me. I still don't know how too feel about this. My wife is pregnant, we are going to have a baby. I always wanted to have a baby with Stef, which is something I didn't think would happen ever. Than me and Stef tried for a baby and I got pregnant with Frankie. I was so happy but before long I was told going through with the pregnancy could lead to me dying and I couldn't risk that with having kids and a wife. I miss her every day but life had to move on. Than next thing I know life got even harder and poor Stef got raped. This last year and a half has been really hard on our entire family. Now Stef is pregnant and I want so bad too see it as a good thing but it just seems like more stuff added to the mess.

I would never ask Stef to get an abortion through, that not right. I need to be here for her.

"You sure?" she asked and i think she can tell i'm not exactly happy about it.

"Hey i'm here. We will figure this out" I said and put my hand over her stomach. She smiled awkwardly at me.

"I love you" she said hugging me.

"I love you too, babe" I said hugging her back. My wife is pregnant and we are going to have a baby together and I will be here for her no matter what.

**Ok so the majority wanted Stef pregnant and so do I. Also some wanted too see Stef have a curable STD which I think would be interesting plot line too write, so I'm still debating it. Hope you like it, even if you didn't want her pregnant. It just helps make the story better, so many plot lines with it. **


	7. Chapter 7

Lena

I woke up the next morning to Stef tossing and turning having a very bad nightmare. I held her and she woke up in panic.

"Shh... It's ok. You are safe, you are at home" I said and she laid her head against my shoulder.

"I love you" I said rubbing her back.

"Love you too" she said back.

Brandon

I can't believe what's happening. My mom was actually raped, how did this happen. Shouldn't she have had a cop with her that knew what he's doing. I have met a lot of the cops my parents work with there are tons that would have been able to stop it and they put her with a stupid rookie.

My dad was at work that day couldn't they be put together it's better than working with a rookie. I just hope that man who did this to her gets what he deserves an eternity in hell.

Jesus

I could kill that man! How could he just torture her like that? Nothing is ever going to be the same again. My mom will never be the same again all because of some son of a bitch who will hopefully rot in hell.

Sharon

I randomly got a call from Lena. The last time I got a random call from her Stef was shot. Great what is happening now.

"Hey is everything ok?" I asked worried.

"Uh not really" she said making me more worried.

"What happened?" I asked hoping everyone is ok. Normally when she calls Stef had some type of accident at work or something.

"Uh Stef was trying to catch a rapist..." She said shocking me. Of course I know of the danger of working as a cop, but a rapist? Isn't that more FBI level? I don't like the sound of this.

"What?"I asked.

"I don't know if you heard of the Carter case. He was a rapist that was traveling through California and he was in San Diego. Stef and her partner found him and ...well they lost the upper hand" she said. It took a while to hit me. Is she really saying my daughters been raped.

"Sharon?" She asked after a while of me not answering.

"Please tell me you're not saying what I think you are." I said tears in my eyes.

"Unfortunately I am" she said and I can tell she has tears in her eyes too.

"Is she ok?" I asked immediately pulling out my laptop to find tickets to San Diego as quick as possible.

"She's trying to be" she said and that's the worst. When she tries to be ok it never ends well for her.

"I'm coming out" I announced.

"Alright. That's not all though" she said shocking me. What else can be happening? Her being raped isn't bad enough?

"What?" I asked.

"I took her to the hospital yesterday... " she started. Did this happen yesterday?

"When did this happen?" I asked.

"Last Monday" she said. That was five days ago and they just took her to the hospital yesterday?

"Is she ok?" I asked.

"She's pregnant" she said shocking me even more. Pregnant, could this get any worse for her. I know she can get an abortion but I don't think she would.

"Oh my god " I said.

"What is she going to do?" I asked.

"Well she's not getting an abortion" she said not surprising me. She's going to have the baby?

Stef

What I'm really dreading is now we have to tell the kids. I'm not sure how they are going to react. Within the last few months we told them we are going to try for a baby, that Lena was pregnant, than that Lena had to terminate for her own health, and now that I'm pregnant by a rapist. Uh yeah a lot has happened in three months.

"How are we suppose to tell the kids?" I asked Lena who was doing the laundry with me.

"I don't know but we will do it together." She said smiling at me.

"Thank you" I said.

"For what?" She asked.

"Being here, I don't think that I would be able to do this without you" I said and she leaned over and kissed me.

"You don't have to. I am always here for you" she said kissing me again. She kept kissing me and pulled me closer. Her hands went up and down my back. I know Lena wouldn't try to go any further than kissing right now but something made me pull away.

"I'm sorry" she said letting me go.

"No it's ok. I don't know why I pulled away" I said and she shook her head.

"No babe, it's fine. I wasn't going to do anything but kiss you" she said and I nodded.

"No I know" I said awkwardly.

"Honey I would never pressure you to do anything you didn't want to. Nothing needs to happen between us until you are ready" she said kissing my cheek.

The next day we decided it was best to just get this talk over with. The kids are already suspicious of my behaviour since I have stopped drinking coffee. Which by the way is terrible. How did I do it with Brandon?

"So we need to talk" I said and all the kids looked up at me. Every time we have said that lately it has been bad news you can see all of them steeling themselves for the worst.

"About?" Jesus asked as if saying 'what could it be now?'

"Well…" I started not sure of what too say.

"When we went to the hospital the other day obviously they did some tests on her, but they also wanted to do an ultrasound…" Lena said for me sensing that i might not want to continue.

"You're not…?" Mariana asked me trailing off.

"No, I am" I said simply and all the kids didn't seem too know what to say.

"Really?" Jude asked.

"Really" I said and they all looked at each other and at Lena.

"Are you… getting an abortion?" Jesus asked and both Mariana and Lena glared at him. I know it was the question all the kids were wondering though, he's just the one who asked.

"Really, Do you think they would tell us if she was having an abortion?" Mariana asked and she has a point. If I got an abortion me and Lena would have kept it between us.

"Well I don't know" he said defensively.

"No it's ok, i'm sure you were all wondering the same thing." I said too the twins and Mariana stopped. I do appreciate Mariana standing up for me a bit but I don't think he meant it to sound disrespectful.

"And to answer the question, no i'm not" I said and no one knew what to say.

"So yeah" I said awkwardly and Lena rubbed my leg.

"Any questions?" Lena asked awkwardly herself. I know Lena hasn't fully embraced the idea of being pregnant, which is fine because neither have I. It doesn't seem real yet. It's kind of ironic that the table has turned from the beginning of the Frankie drama.

No one said anything so we just finished supper in an awkward silence. I think everyone is afraid to say something that would hurt me.

Callie

I'm shocked and amazed at Stef. How can she keep a baby that came from that situation? Is she really going too love the baby the same as the rest of her kids and not let the baby be a reminder of what happened. If she can really do that, that's amazing.

I just hope this kid gets loved the same as us because it doesn't deserve that. Knowing Stef and Lena, if anyone can do it they can. They seem to always have room for more and enough to go around but this might be too much.

I just hope Stef can handle it.

Mariana

I'm not surprised that she's going through with it. No matter what people think she's a mother first. She always puts her safety, health and hell sanity on the back burner and puts everyone elses go before hers. She's been through hell and getting pregnant would be a remainder of that even for the best mom but she still puts the sake of this baby before her own. She would do anything too keep us safe why wouldn't she do the same with this baby.

Jesus

Pregnancy? Isn't this too much for her? She's been through enough and she doesn't get an abortion. How can she go though with a pregnancy knowing how she got pregnant in the first place?  
>Brandon<p>

Well I didn't see that coming. She's really going to go through with it? I can't even imagine her pregnant, sure I know she had me but still. I hope she will be ok, she's taking on too much.

Jude

I still feel so bad for Stef she's gone though a lot lately. I remember how bad Callie was after Liam and now that I'm older I know what really happened. I know Liam raped her and that she had to keep quiet about it. I feel so bad for her. Her and mom are so much a like, they have been through hell and are fighters since they made it though it. I know Stef will make it through this but that doesn't mean that her world isn't falling around her right now. I'm so glad Lena is their for her, she needs that support.

Ever since this happened I have noticed a change in them.

Stef always seemed like the dominant one, like the 'boy' in the relationship. While Lena seemed more of a 'wife' in the relationship. Now the roles seemed reversed, Stef almost took the 'wife' role it seems.

Now that she's pregnant I'm sure it will continue. I'm not surprised she's going through with it, she puts other people before herself. I would be shocked if she got an abortion.

Sharon

I arrived at my daughters house and my grandkids came down to greet me.

"Grandma" Mariana said going and hugging me.

"Hey you're here" Stef said as I hugged all the kids. I went over and hugged her. She hugged me back and I know she needed it.

"I love you" I said.

"I love you too" she said and we pulled apart. I can't imagine what she's been through. I'm so glad she has Lena to help her through this.

I went over and hugged Lena. After a while of hanging out with Stef, Lena and the kids the kids went upstairs and we got to talk.

"How are you, really?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Mom I'm fine" she said but I know she's not. How could she be? She's been raped and now is pregnant. She's not getting an abortion which doesn't surprise me, I know she couldn't. She probably heard the heartbeat and it reminded her of having Brandon and couldn't go through with it. The heartbeat personalizes the baby and she couldn't. I just hope she can handle what she's about to take on. Stef was so bad while pregnant with Brandon as it is, to do it after being raped is going to be so much worse. I also hope Lena can handle it she's about to get really bad.

"Ok if you say so" I said and gave Lena a look of 'is she actually ok?' She gave me a look back of 'no'. Stef got up to go to the bathroom and I looked at Lena.

"She really believes I'm going to fall for it?" I asked and Lena sighed.

"I think she's trying to convince herself" she said sadly. It's terrible but I know my daughter I knew she would do this.

"It's awful, I hope you know it's going to get worse before it gets better" I warned her.

"I know" she said sadly.

"No i mean she was really bad pregnant with Brandon and I guarantee she will be worse now" I said and she smiled at me.

"I'm sure she wasn't that bad" she said and I laughed.

"Oh well ask Mike for stories I'm sure he will enlighten you with some hilarious stories" I said and she smiled. I hope they understand what they are getting into. This is going to be really hard on everyone.

**Let me know what you think. **


	8. Chapter 8

Stef

_He walked back towards me slowly. It seemed like he was trying to set a romantic mood almost, but instead it was terrifying like how zombies going after you slowly is scary. The anticipation of it is the worst. _

"_You look beautiful" he said kissing me roughly. I knew better than to try and stop him. After all he might have my family._

"_That uniform looks terrible on you. The workplace is a mans place" he said quickly taking my uniform off. _

"_It's something people forget often, isn't it? Their place" he said shoving me down on the bed roughly and leaned over me as if to show dominance. _

"It's ok" Lenas voice pulled me out of the dream as I ran to the bathroom and puked. She ran after me and pulled my hair back gently rubbed my back.

"You're fine" she whispered in my ear. Once I stopped puking she helped me up and took me back into the room after I brushed my teeth. I curled up in bed and pulled the sheets over me. She came over with a towel and trashcan and put it beside my side of the bed. She also had a thermometer to take my temperature.

"You ok?" she asked kneeling in front of me.

"Delightful, I feel like a million bucks"I said sarcastically and she smiled at me.

"You look like it" she said putting the thermometer in my mouth and rubbed my back. The thermometer beeped and I took it out of my mouth.

"98, I think I will live" I said and she smiled at me.

"Probably." she said laughing.

"I will still need special attention from the hot nurse through" I flirted and she laughed rolling her eyes.

"Nothing slows you down" she joked as she got into bed with me and spooned me.

Lena

It was Mike's day to get Brandon and I decided to take advantage of it. I gave the rest of the kids money and told them to order pizza or whatever because I know Sharon isn't the best cook. I'm planning on taking Stef out, we both really need it.

Mike knocked on the door and I went to open it. He came in and smiled at me.

"Hey mike" I said.

"Hey" he said.

"Is there a reason you're paying the kids off?" Stef asked coming downstairs looking confused.

"Yes we are going out, good for you?" I asked and she looked down at her pajamas and I laughed.

"Go get changed" I said and she did as told. Mike laughed.

"She ok?" he asked.  
>"Lets just say we both really need a night out" I said as I called up for Brandon.<p>

"B told me she's going through with the pregnancy" he said and I sighed.

"Yeah she is" I said and he nodded.

"How do you feel about that?" he asked sensing my hesitation.  
>"I'm not sure yet. Too be honest I kind of wish she had an abortion but I would never say that too her" I said and he nodded.<p>

"I can't blame ya. I don't know how you are suppose to treat this baby like you're own knowing that…" he said.

Brandon

I went downstairs and heard mama and my dad talking.

"...Too be honest I kind of wish she had an abortion…" Mama said and I stopped and went too listen too the rest of the conversation. I can't blame her but I thought they were going into this madness together. Mom can't do this by herself.

"I can't blame ya. I don't know how you are suppose to treat this baby like you're own knowing that…" I heard my dad say and before I could hear the rest of the conversation I heard my mom head back upstairs.

"Good job" I said sarcastically shaking my head and going to let them know they seriously messed up.

"Brandon, hey" Dad said as if he knows I heard everything they said.

"If you are going to talk like that I suggest you both learn to whisper" I said and they both sighed.

"Brandon…" Lena started and I shook my head.

"I'm not the person you should be talking too…. Mom heard you" I said and she looked frustrated.

"Great" she said sarcastically heading up after her wife. Dad looked over at me awkwardly.

"Sorry about that" he said.

"I agree with both of you, Mom didn't need to hear it through" I said and he nodded. We left and I just hope that gets sorted out, mom doesn't need more to worry about.

Stef

I couldn't help the tears in my eyes. I know she thought it but too hear it in words just brought me to tears. I climbed into bed and covered myself up and let some of the tears fall.

"Stef" Lena said putting her hand on my back.

"I just want to be alone" I said burying my face in my hands. She sighed and moved closer to me sitting down on the bed.

"Baby I didn't mean it like that" she said. How else could she possibly mean it?

"I said I just want to be left alone" I shouted as anger came over me. Everyone seems to think i'm crazy for keeping the baby and I just need one person's support and it seems I don't. Before I knew it I was crying too hard too try and stop it. I heard Lena sigh and leave the room. What am I going to do? I can't do this alone, and I know I can't get an abortion. I just can't so what am I suppose to do?

Sharon

I heard my daughter shout at Lena too leave her alone and then heard her start crying. I watched as Lena in tears a bit herself left the room. I walked over to her and smiled at her.

"What are you doing?" I asked her and she shrugged.

"I…" she started.

"What happened?" I asked needing to know the situation before giving her advice.

"She over heard me say I wish she had an abortion" she said sadly. Ok well that's going to be a harder one to solve.

"Let me talk to her, than once she calms down I will take the kids out and let you two have the house" I said knowing Lena was trying to give her wife a romantic evening before all this happened.

I went in too talk too her and she didn't seem happy about it.

"Go away" she said in a whisper thinking I'm Lena.

"When you were a kid you used to do this all the time" I said and she sat up and looked at me. She had tears running down her face and had a look of such hurt it broke my heart.

"You used too tell me to get out when you were mad and upset but deep down you wanted me to stay. I remember when you were five we got into a fight over who knows what and you were so mad. You kicked me out when I tried to talk to you and I gave you your space. You cried in your room for a half an hour before coming into my room and curling up next too me. Than you told me you wanted me to stay" I said laughing a bit at the memory and she did the same.

"Yeah I don't know what I want do I?" she said and I shook my head.

"Sometimes but sometimes you know just want you want. I know you think everyone thinks you have gone mad for keeping this baby but you're wrong. I for one think it's amazing. I might be your mom but you have no idea how proud I am of you for going through with this. No one would have blamed you if you decided to get an abortion but you knew from the beginning that you wanted to keep the baby. Everyone doesn't think you're crazy, everyone has so much respect for you right now it's not even funny. This isn't going to be an easy road to go down but it's going to be worth it in the end." I said wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah well Lena isn't on the same road" she said and I sighed.

"Honey Lena is just one step behind you, but I assure you she's on the same road." I said not sure what else to say. Lenas not on the same road right now and she need to get their for her wife's sake and I know she will.

"She wants me to get an abortion mom" she said another tear rolling down her cheek.

"She needs time. Right now she's just really worried about you. You need too talk too her" I said deciding that maybe I should stop talking for Lena. She nodded and I rubbed her arm.

"I'll go get her" I said and went to get Lena.

"Is she ok?" she asked at the sight of me and I nodded. She got up from the couch and headed upstairs too Stef.

Lena

I walked into our room and the sight of her broke my heart. I know she's been crying and I hate knowing I hurt her like that. I walked over and sat next to her.

"Babe, i'm so sorry" I said taking her hand.

"I can't get an abortion" she said simply not making eye contact.

"I'm not asking you too" I said. I never would ask her to, that's not my right. If a women gets pregnant, under any situation, only she should have the final say in whether she gets an abortion. No one has the right to tell a women too have an abortion, or not too. That's just what I believe.

"But you want me too" she said and I sighed.

"Hey look at me" I said since she still hasn't made eye contact.I gently moved her head so she would meet my eyes.

"I will get their, I promise. It still just doesn't seem real" I said and she nodded.

"I just… I just can't do this alone" she said breaking my heart more.

"You aren't. You never have too do anything alone. I'm here. This is our baby" I said putting my hand over her stomach and she smiled at me.

"Really?" she asked and I smiled at her.

"Of course" I said and she kissed me and I kissed her back. Wrapping my arms around her. I put our foreheads together and just enjoyed the moment.

"I hate to interrupt the cute tear jerking moment but i'm taking the kids" Sharon said and we both broke apart.

"Go back too the cute romantic stuff" she said and I laughed.

"Ok Sharon thank you" I said and she left with the kids.

"Are we going out?" She asked looking at herself in the mirror and I laughed.

"No honey we can stay in for the date night if that's what you want. Besides you look gorgeous" I said and she forced a smile letting me know she doesn't believe me. Yeah I will keep that in mind.

"Come on, I will make you a nice dinner and we can curl up too a movie. Sound good?" I asked and she nodded.

"Do we have a movie?" she asked and I sighed.

"No I will go grab one quick you just relax" I said and watched her lay back in bed and I laughed. I love her so much.

"Hmm ok, can you get some soda and ice cream I would love a float" she said and I smiled at her.

"Sure babe, what do you want for dinner?" I asked.

"Cheese steaks and pierogies?" she asked and I laughed kissing her.

"Got it" I said and went out too go get her requests. I made her the cheese steaks and pierogies and we put in the movie and just enjoyed each others company. After we finished eating I took in the plates and made us some root beer floats and gave her hers much to her delight. I loved every second of it. What happened seemed to fade into the background and for a couple of hours we were just a couple expecting a baby. Everything seemed perfectly fine for a while. I had my arm wrapped around her and she happily laid her head against my chest as she drank her float. What I said before was true this baby is ours and that's just how I would want it.

**Ok let me know what you think. Please keep reviewing I like too know what you think. **


	9. Chapter 9

Sharon

We came home too see Stef and Lena all curled up on the couch sound asleep. It's not even nine at night but i'm not surprised neither have slept well lately. Stef has had nightmares like every night for the last week. I even joked with Lena and asked how many hours Stef is allowing her like you do with moms who just had a baby.

"Shh… don't wake them" I said too the kids and grabbed the cups they had what seemed to be floats in and took them into the kitchen. I washed the dishes and told the kids to go upstairs and do whatever. I allowed them to sleep for another hour before gently shaking my daughter-in-law.

"You fell asleep" I whispered to her and she looked down at Stef who is comfortably curled into her chest.

"What time is it?" she asked in a whisper still not moving Stef.

"Ten, we let you sleep for an hour" I informed her and she sighed.

"You didn't have to do that" she said to me looking down at her wife.

"Man she's out" she said laughing and I laughed with her.

"Don't worry about it, I got a lot of pictures for blackmail" I joked but i did actually take a picture of them, I couldn't help myself they were so cute. Besides I would love to tease my daughter into believing I posted them to facebook.

Lena laughed and rolled her eyes before kissing Stefs forehead and gently shaking her arm. Stef moaned in protest and curled up on Lena more.

"We could be evil, I have an air horn app on my phone" I said and she laughed but shook her head.

"Stefanie, come on" she said but Stef only moaned and said no groggily.

"God it's like when she was a teen" I joked and she laughed.

"You're mom is about to use an air horn" Lena said and Stef groaned but sat up.

"I'm up, i'm up" she said and I laughed. She stretched and looked at both me and Lena annoyed.

"What time is it?" Stef asked.

"Ten" I said and she looked confused.

"In the morning?" she asked and we both laughed.

"Yeah come on you're gonna be late for work" I joked and she believed it.

"Shit" she said and she glared at me.  
>"You're evil" Lena informed me laughing.<p>

"It's night time, you don't have to go to work" Lena said too Stef.

"Why did you wake me than?" she asked and curled back up too Lena. She's still half asleep.  
>"Babe, lets go too bed" Lena said and she laughed.<p>

"Yeah lets go to bed" she said curling up on her more and I laughed.

"No the actual bed not the couch" she said but Stef didn't seem too listen.

"You can't sleep on the couch it's going to kill you're back" Lena argued logically and Stef groaned.

"Fine, just stop talking" She said getting up and Lena got up and followed her upstairs. I laughed before sitting down and turning the tv on.

Lena

I watched as Stef who is so tired at first sight you would think she was drunk got too our bed and collapsed into it falling asleep immediately not even bothering to take her clothes off and put pajamas on. I joined her and she snuggled back into me like she was downstairs. I'm just glad she's sleeping without nightmares.

The next morning I watched as Stef got out of bed and started to put her uniform on.

"Whoa, slow down. What are you doing?" I asked and she gave me a weird look.

"Putting on my uniform?" she said and I sighed.

"Honey haven't we talked about this?" I asked and she looked confused.

"No but I think I got it. See left foot than right foot pull pants up" she said putting her pants on and I sighed.

"I meant going to work, I know you can handle putting pants on" I said and she sighed of relief.

"Oh good I was insulted for a bit there" she said still ignoring what I said.

"You're not going to work" I said sternly and she looked at me shocked.

"Excuse me" she said sounding taken back with shock.

"You're still on leave" I said and she looked shocked.

"I didn't know I was on a leave" she said and I sighed. Ok so I might have avoided telling her she was purposefully given a few days off.

"Ok I'm sorry I should have told you…" I said and she looked at me shocked.

"I don't need to be on a leave, Lena. Are you behind this?" she asked getting her belt out and putting it on.

"No Captain didn't want you at work, for at least a week after she figured out. It's been like three days" i said but she still grabbed her gun.

"Well why didn't she tell me?" she asked sounding upset.

"Honey she was already talking to me when it came up" I said and she nodded.

"So you just didn't give me the message?" she asked finally stopping getting ready.

"There was never a good time, I thought I did" I said and she sighed.

"This is bull shit I should be at work" she yelled frustrated.

"Don't curse at me" I gently scolded her and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine, I should be at work" she said annoyed.  
>"Babe, you need more time. Besides is this isn't really a good time for you too be out there where you can get seriously hurt?" I argued and she sighed.<p>

"What am I suppose to do sit around the house all day?" She asked.

"You know it's not safe. What did you do when you were pregnant with Brandon?" I asked and she sighed.

"Paperwork and it's awful" she said and i smiled at her.

"Well I'm sorry but you're pregnant you can't be chasing criminals" I said and she sighed and I know she knows I'm right.

"Fine I will talk to Captain but can we do something today" she said and I laughed. She took her uniform off and was down to bra and underwear which for the record is the least amount of clothes I have seen her wear since this all started. She still feels uncomfortable being naked in front of even me so I did the decent thing and turned around.

"Sure what do you want too do?" I asked her once she was dressed. She threw on a blue shirt and loose jeans and put her hair into a ponytail.

"I don't know maybe go down too the board walk like we used to do" she said and I smiled at her.

"Ok but you do know we will have the kids and you're mom" i said and she nodded.

"I guess if we have too" she said and I laughed. We all went down to the boardwalk and were enjoying a nice day out. Since it was a saturday the kids didn't have school and we all got too enjoy the day together. I grabbed Stef's hand knowing we are in a pretty safe part of town and we are safe showing that we are together. She looked down at our intertwined hands nervously and I let go of her hand. She's been a little freaked out by any affection lately let alone public displays of it. Most of the time she's fine but every once in a while she will pull away from a kiss, move her hand so I can't hold it, or avoid a hug. We haven't talked about it yet but I have read the newspaper I know it was a hate crime. I'm sure that's why she's pulling away from me and I think I need too talk too her about it tonight.

"You alright?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah of course" she said and I smiled at her. We went into a few stores and I kept an eye on what she was looking at because I think she needs something nice but she seems distracted.

"What's bugging you?" I asked as she seemed to be constantly looking around her.

"Nothing" she said almost too fast. She seems almost like she's starting to have a panic attack. Her hands are shaking and she looks guarded.

"Babe you can talk to me" I said putting my hand on her back and she flinched immediately tensing up. I pulled my hand away immediately.

"I'm fine" she said tears in her eyes.

"Oh sweetie come on." I said and took her back to the bathroom.

"What is going on?" I asked her still afraid to touch her. I want so badly to pull her into my arms but she seems to be in fight or flight mode.

"Nothing" she denied again looking around the bathroom as if she feels someone is following us.

"Honey no one is in here with us" I said and she forced a smile even though I can tell she's freaking out. She seems to be having trouble breathing, is constantly playing with her hands or hair, and she seems like she is literally ready to run at any second.

"Stefanie?" I asked.

"Someone is following us" she said in a whisper as if she thought someone is listening too this conversation. The very thought sent chills down my spine.

"What?" I asked shocked by what she just said.

"Someone is following me" she said and I sighed. I'm sure this is just her having a panic attack.

"No one is following you, you are safe. Lets go home" I said smiling at her.

"But…" she said.

"But nothing, we will tell the kids and you're mom you don't feel well and go home" I said but she didn't like the idea.

"No I'm not letting him hurt my family" she said and I sighed. Ok she's too in panic mode to negotiate with it seems.

"Honey no one is following us" I said and she shook her head and went out to our family. Sharon immediately could tell something was wrong with her daughter.

"Stef you're ok" she said in a whisper trying to keep this between the adults so we don't freak the kids out.

"Hey miss thing we said one thing" I said to her since she has like three things in her hand.

"It's part of the outfit" she claimed and I have her my look and she sighed.

"Fine can I buy it with my money" she asked and I sighed.

"If you really want it but I don't spending a lot of your money either." I said mostly trying to distract them.

"No one is following us" Sharon said to a freaking out Stef.

"We need to get the kids out of here" Stef said in a voice hard to argue with. If we don't listen to her she's going to cause a scene.

"Ok come on guys we are leaving so get what you want and go to the cashier" I ordered and they all looked at me confused. They finally saw there panicking mother and did as told. We got out of there as soon as possible and went right to the car. No one spoke the entire way home as I attempted to calm down Stef. Once the anxiety attack ended she looked embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have freaked out" she said as if it's her fault.

"Honey" I said shaking my hand and taking her hand.

"It's ok mom, we get it" Brandon said for his siblings.

"Yeah Mariana would have shopped us bankrupt if we didn't leave" Callie teased her sister putting her hand on her moms shoulder knowingly.

"I wouldn't have" she denied.

"Well between her and grandma..." Jesus joked and we were all laughing.

Callie

I wasn't shocked when Stef made us all leave. She started freaking out shortly after she got there. I'm surprised she kept it together that long. Panic attacks are the worst. I started to have them shortly after me and Jude's mom died and have had them ever since. They got really bad after the Liam thing, like one a day for a bit there.

"You ok?" I asked Stef during a second alone.

"Yeah i'm fine" she said quickly.

"I used to have panic attacks all the time before you and Lena took me in" I admitted and she looked over at me and sighed.

"I'm sorry" she said awkwardly.

"You know that is ok too let someone else take the ropes for a bit" I said and she sighed.

"I know I know… just thought someone was after us" she said and I nodded.

"The best way to heal is to have someone to lean on. Jude helped me so much without even realizing it. Mom and grandma are here to help you, you should probably let them." I said and she looked at me confused.

"I am" she said and I smiled at her.

"Than why are you pulling away from mom?" I asked and she looked down unsure of what to say and that's when it hit me. I read the newspaper, of course that's what it is about now I feel stupid.

"What that guy said too you isn't true" I said and she looked up at me.

"I know… you make me so proud Callie every day" she said and kissed my forehead. I smiled it feels great to have moms let alone ones I know i'm making proud.

I smiled at her and met eyes with mama who I know is worried about her wife.

"I'm going to go help gram with supper. Maybe we will be able to eat it then" I said and she laughed.

"Maybe if she just hands you the ingredients" she joked and I laughed as I heard Sharon's 'I can hear you' from the kitchen.

Stef

I'm so embarrassed by what happened today. I never meant to freak out like that.

"Hey sweetie" Lena said rubbing my back.

"Hey, sorry about what happened" I said and she shook her head.

"Hey it's ok, it's not your fault you had a panic attack." she said kissing my cheek.

"This little guy is causing you a lot of trouble" she joked gently drumming her fingers against my still flat stomach.

"I think it's a girl" I said and she looked over at me.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yeah, want to bet on it?" i said and she shook her head.

"Oh no, I've read something about women who know the gender before a machine could tell. Ain't no way i'm losing money on that bet" she said and I rolled my eyes. Give it too Lena to be researching pregnancy, well she started to do it with Frankie but I think she's doing some more now.

"You're such a nerd" I joked and she gave me a look of mock offense.

"Am not. You're just not going to do the research yourself" she said as if that's a bad thing.

"Why would I? I didn't when I was expecting Brandon and we both ended up fine"I stated and she rolled her eyes.  
>"Well there's more too it than just not drinking and no caffeine" she said and I laughed.<p>

"Are you going to take something else away from me?" I groaned and she laughed.

"No baby I won't." she said and I smiled.

"Awesome. So chocolate?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"It's hidden in our room" she said and I shook my head.

"Please tell me you are not teasing a pregnant women with food" I asked and she laughed.

"My underwear drawer" she said and I laughed.

"I like the way you think" I said and she laughed rolling her eyes.

Lena

I have waited too long to make this call and I know it needs to be done. I picked up my phone and called my dad.

"Hey honey everything alright?" he asked.

"No, nothing is alright" I admitted sitting down on the porch. I felt tears in my eyes as I sighed knowing I need to fill them in.

"Stefanie was raped and she's pregnant and I don't know what to do" I said crying and I heard him gasp.

"What? Is everyone ok?" he asked.

"Yeah I just don't know how to help Stef" I said and he sighed.

"Oh honey it will be ok. I'm sure you are helping Stef" he said and I leaned my hand back against the wall. We talked for over a half an hour and it was great too finally let it all go. I didn't know how stressed I was until I talked to him. The more I talked to him the more he reminds me we can get through this and we will be ok again.

**Ok I don't know if I liked that ending. Anyways I met skip a bit of time too Stef being a few months pregnant maybe in a chapter or so. I don't know let me know what you think. I love getting reviews from you guys.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Three months pregnant**

Stef

I woke up and tried to ignore the nausea but it seems to be getting worst. I turned into Lena and she woke up.

"You ok, babe" she asked taking me into her arms. I shook my head and it was even worst.

"Oh sweetie" she said as I got up and ran to the bathroom. I would appreciate waking up at least one morning not too the feeling of needing to puke. It's happened every morning for the last two weeks or so.

"I know baby" she said rubbing my back. She helped me up and after brushing my teeth took me to bed.

"I know" she said and kissed my just starting to show stomach. She laid her head against my chest.

"Hey sweetie you are going to drive your mom insane. Also it would be nice if you stopped making mom sick all the time" she joked and I rolled my eyes.

"She's driving you insane?" I asked taking a deep breath to try and subside the nausea. She smiled at me and kissed my nose then went back to her original position.

"We love you so much and can't wait 'till you join the world" she said and I laughed.

"Yes really can't wait" I said and she laughed. She went up and wrapped her arms around me.

Dana

I still can't believe all that is going on. I feel so bad for my daughter-in-law. What she's doing is amazing. I couldn't do it, that's for sure.

"You know we probably should have called." Stewart said and I sighed.

"Yeah well we have waited long enough and this might be our last time we could go out before that baby is born." I said and he nodded.

"Don't say anything too Stef" he said and I glared at him.  
>"Why would I do that? I would never say that too her, but I know how Lena feels about it" I said knowing the situation isn't quite how it seems.<p>

"You don't know that, Dana" he argued as we finally got took our seats on the plane.

"All I'm saying is from what she's said makes it seem like the idea of this baby is a nightmare too her" I said and he sighed.

"I know you think she should have just got an abortion but that doesn't mean Lena agrees with you, she normally doesn't" he said and i looked at him shocked. Me and Lena normally don't see eye to eye but that doesn't mean i'm wrong right now.

"She has five kids already and after losing Frankie I don't know if she has room for more." I said and he looked at me shocked.

"Dana!" he said.

"Listen all I'm saying is she doesn't feel anything for that baby, she's going through with the motions but that's it" I said and I know it's terrible to say but I can't blame her.

"I'm sure that's not true, and even if it is she has like six months to feel that connection. Besides she's probably just feeling the baby daddy blues" he points out and I sighed.

"Lets hope" I said hoping my daughter isn't getting in over her head.

Lena

Me, Stef and the kids were watching a movie when their was a knock on the door.

"Hey can one of you guys get the door?" I asked not wanting to get up from my spot on the couch and have to make Stef move.

"Got it" Mariana said and got the door.

"Grandma, grandpa" she said excitedly and I looked over at Stef confused. What are my parents doing here? The kids got up and hesitantly me and Stef did the same.

"Mom, dad?" I said confused hugging them both.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as they hugged Stef.

"Oh we can't come randomly?" my mom asked.

"No of course you can just…" I trailed off.

"She's teasing you, honey." my dad said. "We thought we would come in too see everyone"

"You look great my dear" my mom said too Stef.

"Thank you" she said and we both shared a look of 'ok then'.

"Anyways sorry we are getting in late, San Diego's traffic is horrendous" my mom said and I gave dad a look of 'should I be concerned?' He shook his head but i'm not entirely convinced. I have talked too my mom many times in the last three months and she has all but said that she doesn't support us having the baby. I just hope she won't slip up and say something in front of Stef. It's one thing when she says it too me but that's the last thing Stef needs. She deals with enough of it.

I gave mom a look telling her too watch what she says, which she has a problem with. I'm sure my dad has already said something to her but still.

"How long are you staying for?" Jesus asked.

"Oh just an extended weekend, you're granddad has an important business trip to New York City in a few days" my mom said to him.

"Anyways what did we interrupt?" she asked as I instructed the kids to take their suitcases too our room.

"Oh we had a movie on" Stef said and they nodded. Once Jesus and Brandon got back downstairs we turned the movie back on filling them in on the twenty minutes they missed.

My dad texted me saying he was sorry.

Me:it's ok as long as she doesn't say anything to Stef.

Dad:already talked to her

Me: yeah because that makes a difference

He looked over at me and we both almost broke out laughing. I just hope that my mom knows not to say anything in front of Stef.

When I finally got my mom alone I went up to her.

"Look I know that you don't approve of this pregnancy but just don't mention it in front of Stef" I said and she shook her head.

"Why do you guys think I'm that terrible. I would never tell Stef any of that. Also I'm not the one opposed to this pregnancy" she said. What does she mean by that?

"Excuse me?" I asked not liking what she's implying.

"Come on Lena, we both know you are just going through the motions" she said and I shook my head.

"No mom you don't know. You don't know how many nights I have woke up to Stef having a nightmare, or how many days I'm called during work asking me to pick her up because she's having a panic attack. You don't know" I yelled and she sighed.

"Honey in no way do I blame you for that. You're both going through to much right now." She said and I sighed.

"I just don't know what to do. It just seems she's never getting better. I know it's not the baby's fault but I just can't keep thinking of her as a reminder of what she's been through" I said and she put her hand on top of mine.

"I really want to forget about it and completely accept this but it's just..." I started to say and she smiled at me.

"Does this make me a bad mom?" I asked and she shook her head.

"It makes you human" she said hugging me.

"You are such an amazing mom I have no doubt in my mind this will fade. That baby is going to come into this world and everything will change. " she said confidently. She patted my hand and got up and left.

Stef

I sunk to the floor of the shower tears in my eyes.

"Stef?" Lena said knocking on the door. She came in and I got up turning the shower off and wrapped the towel around me. I have gotten more comfortable with her in the last three months. She has seen me naked since then but we haven't done anything yet.

"Oh baby" she said pulling me into her arms. I pulled away and smiled at her.

"I'm fine, love. You don't have to worry about me" I argued and she sighed.

"I'm always going to worry about you, you know that" she pointed out and I know she's right. She has always worried about me especially when it came to work.

"I know but i'm not broken" I said and she nodded.

"You're right. I know you're not it's just I worry about you." she said and I kissed her.

"I know and I know that's not going to stop but i'm fine" I said pulling her against me and kissed her again. I know she's not going to make the first move right now because of everything so it has to be me. I kissed her neck and she stopped me.

"Hey are you sure about this?" she asked after seeing my confused look.

"Of course" I said kissing her again.

"We don't have to do anything until you're ready, babe" she said and I smiled at her.

"I'm...ready" I said in between kissing her.

"You... sure?" she asked when we broke apart from each other.

"Love please shut up" I said going back to kissing her neck. I have never been more sure of everything. I need her.

"You can stop at any time" she said letting me know I have control.

"Stay where I can see you" I said and she nodded unwrapping me from my towel. I laid their under her naked and I knew I need to get her naked so I don't feel so vulnerable.

Lena

I laid next to her and she laughed pulling me into her.

"How did we go three months without doing that?" she asked me playing with one of my curls.

"It was worth the wait" I said kissing her and watched as she fell asleep exhausted.

"I love you" I said kissing her cheek and then falling asleep myself.

**Let me know what you think. I love hearing from you.**


	11. Chapter 11

Callie

I looked down at the food and tried to act like nothing is bothering me.

"What's wrong?" Stef asked sitting next to me.

"Nothing I'm fine" I lied and she nodded.

"Right I know you don't want to eat but can you please have a few bites" she said and I sighed. I sometimes forget that she went through it to and therefore sees through my attempts.

I looked down at the food again and she sighed.

"Honey I know how bad it is to make yourself eat when nothing seems more repulsive. I still have days where your mom has to make me eat. Three months ago I didn't eat to the point of almost passing out. It's not healthy so please try" she said and I sighed.

"Some days are really bad" I said playing with my bracelets and she smiled at me.

"I know but we are here" she said and I smiled at her. I know that my moms would do anything for me and it's something I'm not used to.

Stef

Captain came over to me and sat down.

"How are you doing?" She asked and I smiled at her. I still haven't told the rest of the station that I'm pregnant. Only captain and mike knows that I'm pregnant and only captain, mike and Jameson knows what happened that day.

"I'm fine" I said and everyone was looking at us. She saw me looking around and sighed.

"Officer foster come to my office" she said in her stern voice to make it look like I'm going to get in trouble.

"You know people are eventually going to figure out what happened. You can't hide it forever" she said and I sighed. Well that was a nice way of saying you're gaining weight.

"I know I will tell them when they ask" i said and she smiled.

"So translation you aren't telling them" she said and I laughed.

"Yeah pretty much" I said honestly.

"Well we need to talk about maternity leave" she said and I nodded.

"My due date is March sixth" i informed her and she nodded.

"You know legally you can have about a year maternity leave with the situation" she said which shocked me. I don't know what I want to do yet. A year is a long time to be off work but I still don't know who will watch her when me and Lena are at work.

"Well I will talk to Lena about it. I'm not sure if I want to take a full year off but I will get back to you on that" I said and she nodded.

"Ok if you ever need to talk I'm here" she said and I nodded.

"Well thank you but I really am ok." I said and she laughed.

"Right as long as none of the guys touch you." She said and I laughed. I practically attacked mike the other day because he put his hand on my shoulder while I was having a panic attack. I think all the guys got the message pretty clear.

"Well now they all know" I said and she laughed.

"Right it's a good thing it was mike, don't think anyone else could handle being attacked by you" she said and I laughed.

"Probably not, I'll talk to you tomorrow" I said and left.

Lena

I walked in to hear a frustrated Stef yell at a pair of jeans she's frustratedly trying to get off of her.

"What did the jeans do too you?" I asked laughing a bit too myself and she seemed annoyed.

"They don't fit" she said still struggling and I went over and helped her pull them off.

"It's ok we will get you some clothes that fit" I said after finally getting her out of the jeans that where a tight fit on her everywhere even though they weren't suppose to be skinny jeans.

"Well I need something that fits now" she said and I smiled at her.

"I will find something" I said and she laid back on the bed looking tired. She has a shirt that doesn't quite fit her on so I could see a bit of her baby bump. I smiled to myself at the look of her. I can tell from here that under that shirt she has no bra on and I laughed grabbing pants that should fit her.

"Here" I said and went to grab her a shirt.

"What's wrong with the shirt i'm wearing?" she asked and I laughed knowing she's joking.

"You can't wear a belly shirt too the restaurant we are going too." I said and she sighed.

"Damn it, fancy restaurants" she said and I shook my head at her.  
>"Stop swearing, you do know the baby can hear you" I said and she laughed rubbing her belly.<p>

"Oh i'm sorry honey. Mommy has a potty mouth it doesn't because you won't remember any of this but it upsets mama" she said and I laughed rolling my eyes.

"Stop it. Also we are going too Ruby Tuesdays, I know fancy" I teased her and she stuck her tongue out at me.

"They also prefer you wear a bra" I said throwing on at her.

"None of them fit me" she said and I laughed going over and kissing her.

"Oh I see" I said taking her shirt off and sure enough they have gotten bigger.

"Alright we will find something that fits you" I said going and looking through her bra drawer but they are all too small for her.

"Guess we are going shopping tomorrow" I said and she laughed. I went over and grabbed the bra I threw at her and held it up too her.  
>"You need to wear something" I said and she sighed.<p>

"It doesn't fit" she said putting it on quickly to demonstrate that it really doesn't fit her at all.

"Ok can't believe I'm saying this but I will ask my mom if we can borrow one of hers" I said awkwardly and she laughed. I knocked on Jesus and Jude's door where my parents are sleeping and Jesus and Jude are on the couch.

"Come in" my mom said and she was doing her makeup and my dad was buttoning up his shirt.  
>"Hey honey we are about ready" my mom said. We are all going out to eat tonight and everyone is ready but poor Stef who can't find something that fits her.<p>

"I see that. This is going to sound weird but can I borrow one of your bras" I said and she gave me a weird look.

"Uh we had this conversation about not needing to stuff a bra too look good" my mom said and I groaned.

"Mom!" I said disgusted. "I didn't steal your bra it went missing and for Stef"

She laughed and smiled at me.

"Oh ok that sounds more like it." mom said going too her unpacked suitcase and throwing a bra at me.

"Lucky you" my dad joked and I rolled my eyes.

"I hate you both" I said jokingly and they both laughed. We all went out and enjoyed a normal dinner as a family which was great.

Stef

I looked through old pictures and found one where I was pregnant with B. I laughed at the terrible picture. At the time I was about eight months pregnant and I looked it too. The picture was taken by Mike when I wasn't looking, the asshole. I was laying on the bed looking defeated. I'm sure i was complaining too Mike about something. I had one hand over my stomach and the other up in the air as I moved it while I complained about whatever I was complaining about. The only reason Mike took the picture was too tease me, like I said what an asshole.

The more I looked at the picture the more it brings tears to my eyes. Am I fit to be a mother too this kid? The picture shows me a month from my due date ranting about something but I can still see love in the picture. Love for Brandon that was already there before he was even born. Love I felt for him from the moment I figured out i was pregnant, love that just isn't here now. I don't feel that way for this baby, not the way i should. How can I be a good mother when I don't feel love for the baby i'm carrying. I've loved all my kids from the moment I first met them, even if I wasn't aware of it at the time. Am I going to be able to be able to be a good mom too this baby even if I don't feel that love now? Is it going to be the same for her as it is for the rest of my kids? Or is she going to be the outsider in this family? Both me and Lena are going through the motions but thats it. What are we going to do?

Callie

I looked down at the scars on my arms and felt the tear slide down my cheek. I put another bracelet on to cover it. I sighed knowing what I have just started. _I won't do it again _I thought and then laughed humorlessly at the thought. Yeah because I haven't said that lie many times.

**Let me know what you think. Am I writing this realistically enough? Sometimes it's hard to tell especially with this premise but i'm trying. Anyways review.**


	12. Chapter 12

Lena

I watched as she freaked out and mouthed too the kids to go upstairs. They did as told having no problem getting out of here as quickly as possible.

"Stef?" I said once she was done.

"Feel better?" I asked and she shook her head tears in her eyes.

"No" she said and I got up and went over to her.

"Honey the woman you saw me hug was a distant cousin of mine" I said and she broke down into awkward laughter.

"I'm sorry" she said and I smiled at her laughing a bit myself.

"I love you and I would never cheat on you." I said kissing her.

"I know, i'm sorry. I get kind of crazy while pregnant" she said and I laughed. Yeah she can say that again.

"It's ok" I said and she shook her head tears in her eyes.

"No it's not. You don't deserve to be flipped out on and that's all I have been doing lately" she said and I kissed her.

"It's ok really. You deserve to freak out every once in a while. You're carrying our baby, it's not an easy task it's ok i remember" I said and she sighed.

"You did so much better with it than me" she said and I smiled.

"What do you want?" I asked her leading her away from the kitchen nook and into the living room.

"A foot rub?" she asked and I smiled at her.

"Alright" I said grabbing her feet once I was sitting on the couch and she was laying with her feet on my lap.

"Whens your next appointment?" I asked and she got her phone out and I laughed.

"What you expect me to remember dates my memory is sucky as it is" she said and I laughed.

"Next tuesday at 1:30, work for you?" she asked and I smiled at her.

"I'll make it work for me." I promised.

"Is this the one we find out the gender?" I asked and she laughed.

"You mean the one you find out you owe me twenty bucks?" she asked and I played slapped her.

"I never made that bet" I said and she looked like she was deep in thought.

"See no I don't remember it that way" she said and I shook my head at her.  
>"Now you're using your memory problem for evil" I joked and she laughed.<p>

"Oh well in that case I think you owe me fifty dollars" she said and I rolled my eyes.  
>"For what?"<p>

"I can't remember." she said and I laughed.

"Nice try, so is it?" I said and she gave me a weird look.

"The appointment where we find out the gender" I said and she sighed.

"Oh yeah I think so" she said and I groaned.  
>"You're hopeless, please tell me you're joking" I said and she shook her head.<br>"No I think it is. I don't know I didn't put it in here" she said looking at her phone. I know her memory isn't going to be at it's best right now but it's terrible. She puts everything in her phone in order to remember it.  
>"We haven't talked about names yet" I pointed out and she nodded.<br>"I had one, where did i put it?" she said and I laughed. She looked through her phone and sighed.  
>"I lost it, what were you thinking" she said and I rolled my eyes.<p>

"Ok well I was thinking Kristine if it's a girl and…" I started and she interrupted me.

"It is a girl" she said and I sighed.

"It still can be a boy" I said and she shook her head.

"No it's a girl" she said insistent.

"Ok well I was thinking if it was by some weird chance a boy we could name him Owen" I said and she sighed.

"Ok I like Owen but it's a girl" she said and I rolled her eyes.  
>"Ok fine we will see next tuesday. Insist if you want, woman" I said pulling her legs and she laughed. I leaned over and kissed her.<p>

Brandon

I was sitting eating lunch with a few friends when Mark came over with a guy I have seen before but didn't know.

"This is Nathan" Mark said and we nodded.

"Hey" I said.

"Brandon right?" he asked and I nodded swallowing the bite of sandwich I had in my mouth.

"That's me" I said.

"Aren't you the vice-principals son?" he asked and I nodded.

"I'm just surprised you seem to white" he said and I laughed.

"No she's my birth mom's wife" I said and he looked shocked. I think he's new here but everyone knows the vice-principle is gay.

"Oh you're moms a dyke, interesting" he said and all the guys looked at each other awkwardly.

"They prefer to be known as lesbians" I said trying to not get mad but this guy is bold.

"Oh hey it's ok. I'm sure they are sexy together…" he said jokingly but i snapped.

"Shut the fuck up" I screamed and the next thing I knew he was bleeding from the nose.

"Oh shit man" he said and the teacher on lunch duty came running over screaming at us.

"To the office both of you" she said and I sighed. Well as if this isn't bad enough now i'm forced to take a trip down too see my mom.

Callie

I know I can't go down that road again. As much as I hate to do this I should bring this up too my therapist. I sat down across from her and she smiled.  
>"It's nice to see you again, Callie. Is there anything in particular you want to talk about during this session?" she said and I nodded pulling up my sleeves so she can see the scars new and old.<p>

"Oh I see. When did you do that?" she asked looking worried but not shocked.

"I started again two days ago. I haven't cut since but… I know it's going to happen again." I said and she smiled at me.

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"Experience" I said and she nodded to me.

"When did you cut before?" she asked.  
>"After Liam…" I said and she nodded.<p>

"You quit?" she asked and I nodded at her. I know that my moms are going to hear about it but I couldn't tell them myself.  
>"Yeah I needed to be strong for Jude" I answered and she smiled at me.<br>"You are a very strong girl, Callie. I have faith that you can quit again" she said and I nodded.  
>"I know I can, I just need help" I admitted.<p>

"That's what me and you're moms are here for. I'm very proud and I'm sure they will be too that you told me" she said and I smiled at her. Yeah I'm sure this will make a mother proud.

Stef

I sat out in the waiting room waiting for Callie to get done with her session and before I knew it they were coming out.

"Hey it's early" I said shocked to see them out twenty minutes before she was suppose too.

"Yes it is. Callie has something she will like too talk too you about" her therapist said and I looked over at Callie. She was avoiding my look and seemed anxious.

"Ok" I said trying to figure out what happened.  
>"Follow me?" she asked and me and Callie followed her into her office. I sat down next to Callie and tried to meet her eyes but she was doing everything to avoid them.<br>"Callie do you want me too tell her?" her therapist asked. Callie looked at her therapist and shook her head.

"No" she said and then looked at me.

"Two days ago I cut myself again" she said avoiding my eyes again. Cut herself? Again? What is happening?

"Why didn't you come to us?" I asked and she looked over at her therapist.  
>"I'm sorry, I was embarrassed" she said and I blinked away the tears. I don't want Callie too take it the wrong way.<p>

"Hey you don't need to be embarrassed with us. You can always come to us and tell us anything" I said taking her hand. She looked at me and I smiled at her.

"Now I understand there's a lot going on at home…" her therapist said and I bit my lip. What happened to me caused this, she never would have cut herself without that reminder of what happened.

"We need to talk about how to keep this from happening again" she said and I nodded.  
>"Of course" I said. We would do anything to help her, I know I can speak for Lena too. We spent a while talking about how to help her before the appointment ended.<br>"Stefanie may I talk to you for a minute alone" she said and I nodded.  
>"Callie I will be out in a minute" I said and Callie left the room and went to the waiting room.<p>

"With everything that I know is happening, I was wondering if you looked into therapy for yourself" she said and I sighed. Lena has brought it up and even Captain likes the idea but i'm not sure I like it. I don't know if it would even work for me, it's hard for me too talk to someone i trust let alone a stranger.  
>"Yeah I'm not sure if it would work for me" I said and she nodded.<p>

"Well think about it. You and your daughter are a lot a like, I remember her saying the same thing" she said and I laughed.

"Right" I said.  
>"I should be going" I said and she smiled at me.<p>

"Have a good day" she said and I smiled at her before leaving. The ride home was awkwardly silent so I put the radio on in order to make it a little less so.

"Hey how was it?" Lena asked just starting to prepare dinner.

"Fine, right Callie" I said knowing now isn't the time to talk about what happened. All the kids are around and it's not fair too Callie to announce it too the family. I will tell Lena when we are alone.

"Yeah uneventful" she said pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

"That's good" she said picking up on the fact that something happened. She gave me a look asking if we are both ok. I just smiled back.

"Anyways how was everyones day" I asked sensing that Callies drama isn't the only thing going on. Brandon avoided my eye contact and the twins pretended too busy themselves on their phone. Ok what's going on?

**Let me know what you think. **


	13. Chapter 13

Lena

I can tell that on top of the fight our son got into over us being together Stef has something to tell us. Great, I miss when the biggest drama was them stealing each other's toys.

"Ok well Brandon do you want to tell mom what happened today?" I asked and he looked down.

"Not really" he said and I gave him a look.

"What it was a question" he said and I glared at him.

"I got into a fight" he said shocking her. I would expect this from Jesus but Brandon took after me more then Stef and his hot tempered dad.

"What?" I asked.

"I just hit him It wasn't like a real fight" he claimed.

"You gave him a bloody nose" I said and he sighed. Stef looked over at me shocked.

"What happened?" she asked knowing he wouldn't get into a fight without a good reason for it.

"Nothing" he said and I know he's trying too protect her from it.

"Brandon, tell you're mom" I said and he groaned.

"He was talking about you and mom" he said too her.

"So?" she asked.  
>"He wasn't being very nice about it" he said and she sighed.<p>

"You don't get into a fight over that" she said repeating my words.

"You don't get into a fight" I said and he nodded.

"I know sorry it just happened" he said.

"And it doesn't happen again" she said and he nodded.

"Got it" he said. After supper was done Stef told everyone too go upstairs other than Callie. What is going on?

"Is everything ok?" I asked looking between Callie and Stef.

"Do you want too tell her or do you want me too?" she asked and she sighed and pushed up her sleeves. What I saw shocked me. She had cuts on her wrists new and old.

"Sorry" she said.

"Callie what happened?" I asked and she pulled her sleeves down again quickly.

"I started again, I'm sorry." she said. Started again when did she stop.

"Hey you don't have too apologize for something you can't control. Please know you can come too us with this and we are going too get though it together" I said and she nodded.  
>"Ok honey. Go do you're homework I need too talk too you're mom" I said and she nodded and left.<p>

"Did that come up in therapy?" I asked not sure how to react.

"Yeah guess she told her. She promises to try and quit" Stef said and atleast that's good.

"Good. What are we going to do?" I asked and she shook her head.

"I don't know. Her therapist is working with her and we just have to keep a close eye on her" she said and I nodded.

"Alright we will get through it" I said because I feel like she's doubting it.

"I know I just wish we didn't have to get through it" she said and I sighed.

"You and me both, but whatever life throws our way we will get through together" I said kissing her.

"I know" she said.

"Good now let's go take a shower" I said and she laughed.

"Together?" She asked and I laughed.

"No better way than together" I said and she smiled at me.

Stef

The next day was my appointment. I'm about four months pregnant which means I do find out the gender today.

"You ready for this?" She asked me and I nodded.

I sat down on the "bed" and groaned.

"I hate these plastic sheets" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"You hate the doctors in general" she said and I nodded in agreement.

"I do there's nothing good about it" I said and she kissed me.

"Well you will have to deal with it" she said.

"Fine" I said as the nurse came in.

"Hey nice to see you again" she said politely.

"You too" Stef said.

"Ok so let's make sure everything is alright" She said going and taking my fever.

"Have you experienced any dizziness?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Good have you had any problems with your memory" she asked and lena answered for me.

"Yes." She said.

"Trouble with memory is normal under the situation. It's nothing to be concerned with as long as she doesn't start forgetting her name or starts to think she's a different age" she said and the thermometer beeped.

"That's not something we should be concerned about, right?" Lena asked concerned.

"98, and no it's possible but it would have happened already." The nurse said and she went to check my heart rate.

"Did you have an STD test done yet?" She asked.

"Yes thankfully it came back negative." I said and she put it away.

"That's good." she said and finished checking on me.

"Ok everything seems good follow me and we will do the ultrasound" she said and I got up and followed her Lena closely behind me.

"Ok lets see the baby" she said and I forced a smile. What if this never fades? What if I never love her like I love my other kids? Is it worse too bring her up in a family that doesn't treat her the same than too have gotten an abortion. I felt Lenas hand grab mine and I smiled at her.

"You alright?" she asked and I nodded.

"Of course" I said pulling up my shirt for the nurse. I felt the cold gel on my stomach and before long I heard the heartbeat again. The picture of our baby came on the screen and I tried too blink away the tears. Lena kissed my hand and I turnd around and caught her lips.

"I love you" she said and I looked back at the screen.

"I love you to" I said my entire focus on the screen.

"Now if we can get a good look I will be able too tell you the gender." She said moving the wand to find a better view.

"Oh it looks like the baby is being stubborn" she said and I laughed.

"Well that's definitely a trait we can blame on you" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"It's a synonym for passionate" I said and she laughed.

"Whatever you want to tell yourself" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Well guess she's not as passionate about keeping it a secret as we thought" she said as the nurse moved the wand enough for her to see.

"Uh yes you guys are definitely having a little girl" she said and I turned to Lena.

"Huh you owe me fifty dollars" I said and she sighed.

"Sure I do" she said sarcastically and the nurse laughed.

"Yes you..." I said and she kissed me shutting me up.

"We both know you are using this memory thing as an excuse to win bets we never made" she said and I groaned.

"Fine but I totally called that." I said and she laughed kissing me again.

"Yes you did, babe" she said and I looked back at the screen at our daughter.

Lena

I heard the heartbeat and I smiled. No mater how crazy this is we are having a baby and that makes it worth it. No matter what's happening right now my moms right we will love this baby just like we do the rest of our kids.

There was a bittersweet feeling to the sound of our daughter's heartbeat. Obviously it was amazing to hear but at the same time I couldn't help but compare the sound to Frankie's heartbeat. I miss her so much and I felt the similar emptiness come over me.

For a brief second I was almost jealous of Stef. She's already had a baby and now she's doing it again and I never got to have a baby. Never got to finish a pregnancy, never had the chance to raise a baby I carried.

By the time the feeling came to me I already pushed it away. Stef has been through hell and it's not something to be jealous of.

Not only that but I know we are raising this baby together. I will get to raise a baby and it shouldn't matter if I carried her or if my partner did. After all how can I preach that 'blood doesn't make a family, love does' if my actions say otherwise. This is our baby and I know we will love her regardless of anything.

**Sorry for the wait I have other more important things to do.**


	14. Chapter 14

Mike

It was Brandon's birthday so I was over to celebrate because it's easier to just celebrate it all together than trying to find a day I can get him to celebrate it with him. We decided when he was nine it was easier to not do a split birthday anymore, especially since by that point the drama was pretty much over and I became like a family friend. I got closer too the twins and became almost like an uncle to them, and even made amends with Lena and got closer to her.

"So what cake are we having?" I asked Stef who is setting the table.

"You haven't changed at all" she joked and I rolled my eyes.

"Haha" i said sarcastically.

"Red Velvet and before you asked Lena made it" she said and I laughed.

"Oh well than it definitely sounds good then" I said and she shook her head at me.

"You look good by the way" I said and she smiled at me.

"Oh thank you for not using that word" She said and I laughed.

"I'm not stupid, I remember when you were pregnant with B. Glowing isn't an insult" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"It's what you say too an obviously pregnant women who doesn't look good at all" she said and I laughed.

"Well you do look good…" I said and she gave me a look like I know you are up too something.

"Just say it" she said and i sighed.

"Some of the guys kind of asked…" I said and she groaned. I know she is trying to keep it a secret but it's not going to work.

"What did you say?" She asked and I sighed.

"Yes" I said and she glared at me.

"Micheal!" She yelled.

"Stef you can't hide this forever. I didn't say how you got pregnant just confirmed that you were." I said and she sighed.

"I'm sorry" I said.

"How do they think I got pregnant?" She asked and she has a point. Rumors spread around the station like high school. I'm sure there is many different rumors about how she got pregnant and I'm sure none of them are the right conclusion and are worse.

"I don't know" I admitted. Lena came in and rubbed Stefs back.

"Suppers done" she said and Stef nodded.

"I'm going to go bring the presents down" Stef said dismissing herself and left.

"Is she ok?" Lena asked and I nodded.

"Some guys asked at the station" I said and she sighed.

"Yeah it's was bound to happen" she said moving the food into the table and I helped her.

"Yeah well she doesn't get that" I said and she shook her head.

"No she does, she just was in denial that it was going to happen. She's tried everything" she said and I laughed. I'm sure she has tried everything to hide it but that's just not possible.

"Are people starting to put together what happened?" She asked.

"I think some are but others I think just believes the rumors" I said and I know that makes it worse.

"What rumors?" she asked worried about her wife.

"I don't know but i'm sure their are some" I said and she shook her head.

"They need to grow up" she said and i agreed.

"Alright everyone suppers ready" she said and we all sat around the table. The conversation got lighter and we joked and teased everyone.

Stef

I sat and watched him open presents and thought back too when he was young. It's hard to believe he's seventeen already. Time goes too fast. I wish it was still when he was a kid and we would go down too the park for the day and me and Lena would do nothing but talk for hours. Life was easier than. He's going to be going to college in a year and the other kids are right behind him. By the time she's five even Jude would be in college and we will probably only have one kid in the house.

Can we still treat her the same? I heard the heartbeat and the sound was amazing but does that mean we will be able to do that. Maybe it's time me and Lena have an honest conversation about what's going on.

"Can we talk?" I asked feeling my heart rate speed up. Why am I so nervous too talk too Lena about this?

"Yeah of course" she said sitting down next to me on our bed.

"What's going on?" she asked smiling at me probably knowing i'm nervous. I don't know how to word this.

"Stefanie" she asked when I didn't say anything.

"Yeah" I said and she laughed.

"I'm not getting the telepathic messages" she said and I laughed.

"Sorry" I said.

"I just... Can we do this? I mean really do this?" I said and she gave me a weird look.

"Apparently we are having trouble communicating. Why don't you try telling me what we are talking about first" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't get smart with me. Can we really raise this baby?" I asked and she sighed.

"Honey we are going to raise this baby like we raised the rest of our kids" she said but she still hasn't answered my question.

"I mean can we really love this baby like we love the rest of our kids" I said and she sighed.

"Baby you are going through to much. I know you, you are going to fall in love with our daughter the second you see her." She said saying nothing about herself. I know she's not capable of not loving a child but it still worried me that she said you and not we.

"I loved Brandon since the moment I figured out about him" I said and she smiled at me.

"I know baby. You expect to much of yourself. You are under a lot of stress right now." She said.

"That's not an excuse and I'm fine" I said frustrated and she sat back and waited for me to calm down.

"You are to hard on yourself. You are going to love..." She said and I interrupted her.

"What about you? You keep saying I will love her and I'm just stressed but never once did you say anything about yourself. Never once did you say we." I said feeling tears in my eyes. She preaches that we are doing this together but she isn't acting like we are.

"Babe I didn't mean it like that. I meant we" she said after recovering from shock.

"Ok we are going to get through this" she said making it worse. Get through it?

"Get through it? I don't want to just tolerate our daughter... Oh I'm sorry I forgot my daughter" I said getting up and heading into the bathroom and starting to run a shower. Great that talk didn't make me feel any better. I'm doing this alone and I'm not even sure I can do this.

Lena

I sat there shocked trying to figure out what to do. I'm not used to be the one in trouble. Sure I'm not perfect and make mistakes but never like this. Do I go after her and talk to her or do I give her some space. I know Stef needs time before she can talk about things but she has obviously been thinking about this for a while. I also can't have her thinking that we are not in this together. Besides I remember Sharon saying sometimes she pushes someone away even when she wants them to stay. Either way I need to apologize and need to make sure she knows she isn't doing this by herself.

"Stef" I said opening the door and going in. She was in the shower and too my surprise she didn't yell at me too get out.

"Babe, i'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that" I said putting the toilet seat down and sitting on it.

"How else could you possibly?" she asked and I sighed. I can hear the fact that she's crying in her voice. I hate that I hurt her like this.  
>"Honey this is our baby…" I started but she interrupted me not having it.<p>

"Really because you don't act like she is" she said and she has a point.

"You're right and i'm sorry. I'm worried about this too, ok? We are trying so hard too act like everything is ok but it's not. I don't know what's going to happen... I don't" I said honestly.

"What do we do? What if we never feel like this babies parents?" she asked and I don't know how to answer.

"You already do" I said without a second thought.

"No I don't" she denied and I shook my head before realizing she can't see me.

"Yes you do. When I brought up the possibility of having an abortion you shot it down immediately." I said and she stopped me.

"That doesn't mean…"

"Yes it does! Stef you are going through a lot right now but I know you already love her. Not once have you brought up the possibility of having an abortion. I see you're face during an ultrasound you love her" I said. I have no doubt in my mind Stef already loves her but i'm not sure about myself. It's hard to know how i feel about all this. It's hard to think of her and not think of what happened too Stef. I hate knowing that our baby's biological father is rapist. What happens when she asks us who her dad is?

"Yeah well I don't want our daughter to grow up with only one parent…" she said and I sighed.

"I know i'll get there, I promise" I said as she stepped out and I wrapped her up in a towel.

"Don't promise me something you might not be able to keep" she said drying herself off.

"I'm sorry" I said trying to think of how we have got to this point when less than a year ago the table was turned and I was pregnant wondering if Stef will fully support our daughter. I think that's another reason this is so hard. It's so hard to think about having a little girl that isn't Frankie. Like we are replacing her or something. I just wish this wasn't happening which is the problem. I feel terrible because I don't want Stef too feel like she's doing this alone but i'm lying if I say i'm ok with this. I hope my mom is right, I can't bare to think that Stef will have to be like a single mother too our daughter. I have to find a way to get over this.

**Ok sorry for the wait I had an essay to write and a barely functioning laptop. Hope it was worth it. So i'm thinking of even continuing this story too were i skip time too when the daughter is in her teens or something.**


	15. Chapter 15

Stef

I sat at work trying to focus on the paperwork but I can feel my heartbeat becoming faster. I can feel myself struggling to breathe and no matter how many times I try to convince myself it is ok I still can't stop the panic from getting worse. I got up and made my way to the gym in the station. Normally I can calm myself down if I focus on something else anything else. I hit the punching bags for a bit before mike came in.

"How long have you been in here?" He asked and I looked at the time and realized I have been in here for 45 minutes.

"45 minutes" I said taking a sip out of my water bottle.

""You didn't call Lena today?" He asked knowing that I'm in here because of having a panic attack.

"No she's working" I said even though she's always working when I call her for a panic attack.

"Everything ok at home?" He asked going over and hitting the punch bag.

"Yeah why wouldn't they be?" I lied and he gave me a look like 'yeah couldn't possibly think of a reason'.

"Ok whatever you say" he said and I rolled my eyes grabbing my bottle and left.

Callie

I stared at the razor blade trying to stop myself but it's not working.

'I can't' I thought but my panic feeling seems to be winning. Before I knew it I had the razor against my skin. For a second everything faded away and I all I could feel was the pain of the blade. It faded to quick and before I knew it i was cleaning the cut while crying. This can't happen again. My therapist says I need to talk to my moms about it and I know I need to but I don't want to. Maybe I can just go to Lena. I can relate to Stef so much and that's why I can't go to her. She's going through to much for me to put more on top of it.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked Lena who nodded and stopped washing the dishes.

"Of course" she said and I looked down feeling awkward.

"I'm sorry, I cut myself again" I said not making eye contact.

"When?" she asked sounding like she doesn't know what else to say.

"Just now" I said and she sat down next to me.

"We need to clean it out" she said and I can tell she's trying to keep her emotions from showing.

"I already did" I said and she looked sad. Like I wasn't suppose to be able to clean it out myself.

"Ok…" she said trying to think of what to do next.

"I'm fine, I was just letting you know" I said awkwardly.

"Well thank you for coming to me. You can always come too me or Stef with this" she said and I nodded.  
>"If you feel pressured please come to us first" she said and I nodded even though I know the likelihood that I would is slim to none.<p>

Stef

I came home and Lena was starting supper. I could tell something was bugging her from the second I saw her.  
>"What's wrong?" I asked and she sighed.<br>"Callie cut herself again" she said and I sighed.

"Did she tell you?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah she did. I don't know what to do. Maybe we can talk to her after supper?" she asked and I nodded.  
>"Sure i'm going to go take a shower, I was at the gym for a bit today" I said and left too go take a shower. I have felt gross all day, even before going too the stations gym, and I have been dying for a shower. I feel like I need to wash away the day and the last four months for that sake. I got into the shower and turned the heat on as high as it can go. Logically I know it's not a good idea but the hot water made me feel better.<p>

Lena

I was trying to focus on making a homemade pizza for supper when I heard what sounded like someone falling from upstairs. Jude who was helping me gave me a weird look before I ran upstairs to make sure everyone is ok. The rest of my kids have already gotten into the hallway looking confused. Great, it's Stef.

"She's fine" I said going into our room and then into the bathroom. I heard the sound of the water running and I ran over to the shower pulling the curtain back. Sure enough Stef was passed out at the bottom. Thankfully our shower isn't one that holds the water at the bottom. I went to turn the water off and when the water hit my hand I pulled it away out of instinct. The water is at the hottest it can go. Why would it even get that hot? I turned it off quickly and grabbed Stef. She woke up looking confused.

"What's happening?" she asked and I grabbed a towel to wrap her in and helped her out of the shower.

"You passed out" I said holding her stable as I lead her to the bed not caring that she's still wet.

"Why did you have the water that hot?" I asked grabbing her clothes and drying her off.

"Sorry" was all she could say. Sorry? She has done nothing but shut me out lately and I can't blame her but I'm sick of it. She's not ok and if she pushes me away who does she have to talk to?

"Stef I know you are mad at me..." I started but she interrupted me.

"I'm not mad" she denied but I know she is.

"Either way you need to talk to me. This isn't healthy" I said as she put her clothes on and wrapped the towel around her dripping wet hair.

"I'm fine" she said but I glared at her.

"Get back in bed. I'm taking your heart rate and temperature" I said and she sighed.

"Don't you think that's..." She started but stopped when she saw my look. She got into bed and I grabbed the thermometer and the stethoscope from we have from when I was having problems while pregnant with Frankie (I can't remember or find on google what's the name of the actual tool they used but it's not a stethoscope).

"Why did you have the water so hot?" I asked and she shrugged.

"That's not an answer" I said and put the thing around her arm.

"I just felt gross" she said sadly. I know she means more than feeling gross because she got sweaty at the gym.

"Honey you are not gross" I said but I know she's not going to believe me.

"Hey you're beautiful" I said and wrote down her heart rate which was a little bit too fast.

"Yeah ok" she said sarcastically.

"I know you don't feel it right now but you are the most beautiful woman I have even seen and that will never change" I said kissing her.

"Now I need to take your temperature" I said and she laughed.

" yes ma'am you are a sexy nurse" she said and I laughed.

"Now that's the Stef I know" I said and took her temperature.

"98 I think you'll live" I said and she gave me a pouty face.

"But nurse I'm not feeling well" she joked and I laughed glad she's feeling a bit better.

"Come on I have to finish supper and the kids are worried." I said and she followed me.

Stef

All the kids were sitting awkwardly and I can tell they are concerned.

"I'm fine" I said as Lena gave me a piece of pizza because I think she knows it's one of those days. The days where I won't eat unless put into the situation where I have to. She gave me a look of eat and I smiled at her.

"Mom just got to hot" she said and I know they are about to ask why but I tried to distract them.

"I can't help it, I'm to hot to handle sometimes" I joked and all the kids groaned.

"Too old for that" Jesus said and I faked offense.

"Yeah you're too old" Brandon joked and I rolled my eyes.

"Stop being mean to your mom, she's beautiful" she said kissing me.

"So why did you have the water that hot?" Mariana said not falling for the distraction. Great I could have sworn that worked. I looked over at Lena for help.

"Your mom isn't feeling to good she thought a hot shower would help" she said but they gave her a look of we are not five.

"Really mom we aren't kids" Jesus said and I sighed but before I could say anything Callie said something.

"She felt gross with everything going on recently it's not the easiest thing to wash off" she said and my heart broke. Jude gave her a worried look and grabbed her hand. All the kids looked down awkward unsure of what to do next.

"You don't have to do that" Mariana said and I smiled at her.

"I won't do it again" I said knowing Lena won't let me.

"Yeah well you don't need to, you really are pretty" she said and I smiled at her.

"Thank you miss thing. I'm fine, really" I said and we ate the rest of supper in an awkward silence. I ate a piece of pizza to get Lena off my back but it was forced. It made me feel almost sick and I know it's not her pizza. That was pretty much all I have eaten today which I know Lena would flip about if she knew.

Lena

Tears were brought to my eyes when I heard what Callie said. She shouldn't be able to explain for Stef. Both my wife and daughter have been through hell and there's nothing I could do to stop it.

I could see that Steph was on the verge of tears to and I took her hand. Today has been a long emotional day and I can't wait to get into the bed and hold Stef.

When we finally got to the bedroom she looked so tired and it was only eight at night.

"Aww babe" I said going over and hugging her and she broke down and I did to.

"It's ok, she's safe now" I told her and lead her back to the bed.

"She shouldn't know what it's like" she said and I rubbed her back.

"I know honey but she has us now. You are both going to be ok" I said and the next thing I know I felt something kick me. It actually took me a second before I realized what happened.

"Oh god" Stef said her hands going to her stomach.

"You ok?" I asked knowing sometimes it actually hurts.

"Yeah" she said and I kissed her before putting my hand on her belly to feel the baby move.

"She active?" I asked and she nodded.

"Very" she said as the baby kicked close to my hand. I kissed her again.

"I love you" I said and she smiled at me.

"I love you too" she said.

**Sorry for the wait I'm crazy busy. By the end of next week I should be able to write more because i will have a study hall.**


	16. Chapter 16

Lena

I looked over at Stef who finally after almost two hours of trying to fall asleep has fallen asleep. I put my hand on her stomach and felt her moving. She has been extremely active since she first started moving and it was hard for Stef to get used to enough to fall asleep. She claims Brandon never moved that much.

Up to the point that I felt that kick part of me still thought this wasn't happening. Now it's to real to dismiss. My wife is pregnant and I need to step up my game. Stef has been through hell and I made it worse.

I got up knowing there is no way I'm sleeping tonight and put my robe on to go downstairs. I went outside and turned on the porch light. I looked at the tree we planted for Frankie and felt the tears come to my eyes.

"Hey Frankie" I said going over to the tree.

"I miss you so much." I said wiping the tears away.

"Things have gotten kind of crazy lately. Your mom is going to have a baby. A little girl like you. We love you so much and we are going to love her too. I don't want you to ever feel replaced. We could never replace you and we will always love you. Don't forget that" I said and felt Stef rub her hand along my arm. I jumped because I didn't even hear her come out.

"It's ok." She said hugging me and I cried on her shoulder.

"I miss her too" she said and I can tell she's crying also.

"We aren't replacing her" she said and I nodded moving off of her shoulder.

"Let's go inside" she said and I nodded in agreement and went inside. We went back up to our room and got into bed.

"I didn't mean to wake you" I said and she shook her head.

"You didn't this little one was attacking my bladder" she said and I laughed.

"Sorry" I said.

"It's ok. You know we could never replace Frankie... I'm not trying to" she said and I nodded.

"I know, I do. I just wanted to make sure that she knows" I said and she smiled at me.

"I miss her too, everyday. I know she knows we aren't replacing her. Is this what's been bugging you?" She asked and I nodded.

"That and I can't think about her without thinking about what happened to you" I said and she sighed.

"I'm fine. You can't blame her for what happened to me" she said and I shook my head immediately dismissing the accusation.

"I don't! I would never blame her for any of it obviously she had no control over what happened. I don't blame her but that doesn't change that when I think about her it reminds me of what you have been through" I said and she just looked at me for a bit before nodded.

"I understand but I need a partner" she said and I sighed.

"Honey we are in this together. This is our daughter. I know I haven't acted like it and I'm sorry." I said and she nodded.

"Yeah you said that already" She said and I sighed. I don't know what to say to her. I want to feel the way she does for our daughter but it doesn't seem to be there. I hope this can sort itself out but what do I say in the meantime?

"I don't know what you want me to say" I said frustrated with myself. I have always been good with words. Always knew what to say and do to make everything better but when I need it the most I come up with nothing.

"Nothing forget I said anything." She said going to go to sleep.

"I'm sorry" I said and flipped on my side to knowing she doesn't want me near her.

Stef

I got up feeling deathly tired for work and Lena looked at me worried.

"Stef you don't look good" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh thank you, good morning to you too" I said annoyed and she sighed getting out of bed.

"You know I don't mean it like that and you don't have to go to work" she said getting changed until work clothes.

"Yes I do, the alarm says so" I said finishing getting changed and putting my hair up.

"Ok but if you want to go home just go home" she said and I started on my makeup. I can feel her eyes on me.

"What?" I yelled annoyed and she looked taken aback.

"Nothing" she said deciding it was best to just let me be.

"Sorry" I muttered.

We were downstairs and Lena had just finished cooking breakfast for the kids.

"Honey can you eat something?" She asked when I got up from the table. I was just getting orange juice.

"I was planning on it" I said annoyed and the kids sat in awkward silence. I poured myself a glass and got myself some of the eggs and bacon.

"Happy now" I said and she nodded. I took a deep breath knowing the kids are watching this.

"I'm sorry" i said and she nodded sitting down next to me.

"It's ok." She said getting herself some food too.

Callie

I thought I lucked out when last night neither Stef nor Lena came to talk to me about what happened during the day. I think they got distracted with Stef passing out instance but this morning they asked to talk to me for a bit. Great I almost lucked out.

"What about school?" I asked hoping that will get me out of it.

"We have enough time" they said and I followed them into the living room.

"We are very proud that you came and told us what happened" Lena said and I smiled at her.

"That was very brave of you" Stef said.

"Thanks"

"We want you to keep coming to us if it happens and come to us before it happens if possible" Stef said and I nodded.

"No matter what is going on, we will drop everything to make sure you are ok. Got it?" Lena said. No matter how long I stay with the Fosters I still find it hard to believe I have a real family. That I have parents that would literally drop everything to make sure I'm ok. I haven't had that since my mom and I'm not used to it.

I smiled at nodded my head, "yeah got it"

They both smiled at me before pulling me into a mama sandwich.

"I love you" I said.

"We love you too more than you know" Lena said and then Stef gave her a look and I slight head nod in the direction of the door as if asking her to give us a minute.

"Ok everyone in the car...Jesus where is your backpack" mama yelled heading back into the kitchen.

"I know you went to mama for a reason" she said and I looked down.

"It's ok. I'm not offended or anything. I don't care which one of us you go to." She said. If it's not a big deal why is she bringing it up.

"She was the one home" I said and she nodded.

"I know I just want to make sure you know that in no way do you have to protect me" she said and I sighed.

"I'm fine it's not your job to look after me. I have mama for that reason..." She said but I stopped her.

"Mom doesn't know what you been through, like understand it" I said and she nodded.

"I know and that's a good thing. We can always talk to each other about it. I'm just saying you don't have to walk on eggshells around me, I'm fine." She said but I know she's not fine.

"You don't have to walk on eggshells around me either." I said and she nodded laughing a bit to herself.

" ok fair enough. You just don't have to act parenting that's my job." She said and I laughed.

"Alright deal" I said and she smiled at me.

"Good now go get in that car" she said and I grabbed my backpack and hurried off to the car where my siblings were waiting for me.

Stef

I walked into work and ignored the looks I was getting. I don't know what rumors are going around about me but I'm sure they're bad. David a friend of mine from the station walked over to me.

"You ok?" He asked and I nodded.

"Of course you out of the shit house yet?" I asked and he laughed giving me a look of 'I wish'

"No he's still pissed" he said and I laughed.

"Oh women" I said and he laughed rolling his eyes. David's husband normally seems like 'the guy' in the relationship but at the end of the day he's such a drama queen.

"Your hilarious, how's my favorite lesbian couple doing?" He asked and I shook my head.

"You only talk to one and we are fine" I said but he glared at me with a look of 'yeah right talk'.

"It's nothing really" I said and rolled my eyes at the pair of girls gossiping over in the corner.

"Hey what are you waiting for us to do each other? Get out of here,it's not going to happen." I yelled at the rookies who exchanged eye contact before getting up and leaving.

"Is that one of the rumors?" David asked and I sighed.

"I'm sure it is you're a guy and I'm talking to you might as well be fucking you right?" I asked bitterly.

"Why don't you tell them the truth?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get respect as a woman in this field?" I asked and he gestured towards himself and I nodded.

"Good point." I said and he laughed.

"I mean come on Stef. I'm an obviously gay guy who quite frankly is more feminine than you and you are a female cop stereotype" he joked and I playfully punched him in the arm.

"Go fuck yourself" I said laughing.

"With pleasure" he said back and I gave him a look of 'ok gross way to much information'.

"Anyways I'm just saying I have worked hard to earn the respect I have and I don't want to lose it." I said and he gave me a look of 'really?'.

"And you honestly think you aren't loosing respect with the rumors going around..." He asked and I shook my head.

"No I know I am but atleast I'm not a victim" I said as Jack and his partner Kyle came back from their shift. I can tell by the look on their faces they heard the victim comment.

"It's so sad that happens, child cases are the worse" David said and I caught what he was doing.

"It is, it was a sad movie" I said no thinking of the child abuse cases we have that I have filed reports on.

"It was good though?" He asked.

"Yeah just sad" I said and he nodded.

"I will have to watch it then" he said and I can tell by their faces they weren't really buying it but it will have to do for now.

I gave David a look of 'thanks for saving my ass' and he nodded.

Jack

I have to give Stef credit she's doing a good job of trying to keep people from knowing what happened to her. Most of the station knows the truth by now it's pretty much the rookies spreading rumors and believing rumors about her. I have known Stef for a long time. Long enough to know she's to loyal and lesbian to sleep with her gay friend David or have a small fling with her ex husband again. That just doesn't make sense. Who has a one night stand with their ex husband or wife, this isn't a drama show. A gay boy and a lesbian don't hook up for a night just for the hell of it. This is the real world that's not how it works.

"She's trying really hard" kyle said and I nodded.

"I know it's sad." I said.

"Why hasn't David told her all but the rookies know what happened?" He asked.

"Him and mike agreed to let it go for now. They think she's using this as her place to act like it didn't happen. They agreed to not rip the band aid off yet. Just go along and act like you don't know" I said and he nodded.

"Mike and David are in for a hell of a ride when she figures out the truth" he said and I nodded.

"Oh it's going to be ugly. Hope they are ready for it" I said looking at her and David talking and laughing like they used to. It's going to be awful when that band aid is ripped off.

**Let me know what you think! Thanks for the awesome reviews.**


	17. Chapter 17

Sharon

It's been a while since I have talked to Stef. I called her many times right after leaving but unfortunately life gets in the way after a while.

"Hey mom" she said shocked I was calling.

"Hey how is everything we haven't talked in forever" I said.

"Fine." She said quickly sounding almost defensive. She worries me when she does this.

"Is everything ok?" I asked not believing for a second things are fine.

"Yeah everything is good" she lied.

"Stefanie Marie Adams Foster what was my number one rule" I said and she groaned.

"Mom"

"Stefanie it doesn't matter how old you are you don't lie to me" I said and she groaned.

"Nothing just I have five teens there is drama" she said.

"Out with it" I said not having it.

"Me and Lena just aren't on the same page about some stuff right now" she said. Great on top of everything else she's having romantic issues. Lena is suppose to be making this easy on her not harder.

"About what?" I asked not surprised this is happening. Going through with the pregnancy was a decision that would obviously cause drama. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I'm having another grandkid but it's not going to be without drama and a tv show amount of it.

"Your future granddaughter" she said and I picked up on the daughter part of it. She didn't tell me they knew the gender.

"Granddaughter you never told me the gender" I said and she sighed.

"Sorry mom I meant to... My memory is non existent right now." She said I laughed. She was the same way with Brandon and I was like that with her. Terrible memory, especially during a pregnancy, runs in the family.

"Yeah its hereditary" I said and she sighed.

"Well thanks for that." She said.

"So what's going on with you and Lena?" I asked hoping it's nothing too bad.

"Lena doesn't really think of her as our baby, but more mine" she said shocking me. I knew it would be hard for Lena because of Frankie but I never thought she would take it this hard. She's Lena, she would take in all kids if she could.

"Did she say that to you?" I asked realizing how bad my daughter has it. She doesn't even really have a wife right now. If this is true she's raising this baby by herself.

"She doesn't have to, I can tell. Don't get me wrong I'm sure she will help and she's acting like everything is ok. I just think mentally I'm going into this alone" she admitted. I have always liked Lena for my daughter but right now I could slap some sense into her.

Lena

I woke up in the middle of the night to Stef having a nasty nightmare. She had a death grip on my shirt and showed no sign of letting go.

"Baby it's ok, you're safe" I said wrapping my arms around her. Instead of relaxing her it caused the opposite reaction she let go of me and tried to get out of my arms.

"Stef wake up" I said and she finally did, tears in her eyes.

"It's ok" I said taking her into my arms again. She needs help, actually we both do. Maybe we should look into couple therapy. So much has changed since the last year and maybe professional help is the best for us.

"What was the dream about, babe?" I asked wiping the tears away.

"I'm ok" she said.

"Honey please tell me what your nightmare was about" I said and she sighed.

"It was stupid..."

"It's not stupid talk to me" I said trying to be as encouraging as possible.

"I was uh back there... And his words kept ringing in my ears..." She said we never talked in detail about what happened. I know from the paper that who did this to her was a sexist homophobic but I don't know exactly what he said to her.

"What did he say to you?" I asked and she sighed.

"Um... He would rant saying that women forget their place. That it sickens him to think of men with other men and women together. That he's trying to make the world the way it used to be one woman at a time" she said and It disgusted me to think he raped lesbians to try and make them straight.

"Honey he's not right" I said and she nodded.

"I know it was just repeating in my dream and then I was back home with you. I could still hear his words..." she said tears in her eyes and she wiped them away quickly. She's never been one to cry in front of people even me and I hate it.

"It's ok babe" I said hugging her and she bedded her head in my shoulder.

"Let go" I said rubbing her back and right as I said it she broke down. As if she needed permission to break down.

"It's ok I'm here" I said avoiding telling her to not cry because she would try to stop herself and that always makes it worse.

"I miss you " she said and I sighed. I know what she means by it and it broke my heart. I haven't been her wife lately and that's what she needs the most. I need to be there for her truly be there for her.

When she stopped crying she wiped the tears off and I leaned in and kissed her as passionately as possible. I pulled her into me.

"I need you" she said and I laid her down kissing her again.

Jameson

I watched as the two other rookies went on about how Stef freaked out at them. They are so stupid why can't they just keep there mouth shut.

"She's such a whore, she's doing both genders at the same time." the one said and I lost it the second she said whore.

"Shut up you don't know anything. Can you stop talking about her, it's none of your business." I said annoyed and they looked over at me before looking back at each other.

"Whatever it's pointless on you two" I said under my breath as I got up. I can't handle listening to them talk about her like that. Stef isn't a whore, she's a loyal person who can't even think about being with a woman other than her wife. She's also too gay to get pregnant by an affair.

They are the only people who believe that I know the other cops knows what happened by know. They knew her to well to believe that's what happened.

I still can't believe she's having the kid, that's brave. She has been through to much and it probably wouldn't have happened if she was with an experienced cop. I should've shot him or something. Doing as she told me wasn't the answer to the problem. An experienced cop would have known that Stef is paranoid and he didn't have the other women's families so why would he have hers. He worked alone despite his confidence when he's taking women he has none in real life. FBI profile stated he had no close friends, relatives or place of employment. I should have thought about that, I should've known. How can I ever be a good cop when I can't even think of that when in that situation. I let her get raped, that's not what a cop does.

Stef

I woke up in her arms and turned so I was holding her too. She woke up too and smiled at me.

"Good morning beautiful" she said barely even opening her eyes.

"Good morning gorgeous" I said playing with her curls.

"Are you trying to out do me?" She asked jokingly turning so she was on top of me. She asked kissing me.

"Maybe" I said laughing.

"I love you" she said kissing me.

"Even though I make bad jokes and put my foot in my mouth a lot" I said and she laughed.

"You know what Mrs. Adams Foster?" She asked.

"What?"

"I can tolerate it..." She said and I played slapped her and we both laughed.

"I love you" I said kissing her.

"I love you too" she said and then moved down to my baby belly kissing it.

"Hey there sweetie, it's your mama. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you more, it's been crazy in the real world. We love you" she said and tears came to my eyes. Lena looked up and smiled at me before going up and kissing me.

"I haven't been the wife you need right now and I'm sorry" she said and I nodded my eyes still full of tears.

"I love you" I said kissing her.

"I love you too" she said kissing me one more time before looking at the time.

"We should probably get up before the kids worry" she said and I nodded getting out of bed with her wiping the tears away. It's such a relief to know she's on board with this. I don't think I could raise this kid by myself.

**Let me know what you think. As of right now I'm saying this will be roughly 30 chapters maybe more. After the baby is born I will do maybe a chapter or two of baby drama before making it her teen years. As a side note let me know what you think I should name her I haven't thought of anything yet. Anyways hope you like it and please review.**


	18. Chapter 18

_**This very sad chapter is dedicated to a certain reviewer, you know who you are, who gave me the idea for this chapter. Your review touched my heart and tore it apart at the same time. You are amazing and thank you for the awesome review.**_

_Callie _

_I was sitting on the couch in the living room of my foster home doing homework. Jude was staying after school for some extra help for his science class and it was just me and Liam. Liam is the only person, other than Jude, that has treated me nice since my mom dead. _

"_How was your day?" he asked his hand on my knee. I know this isn't right but it's just so nice to have someone like me._

"_Fine" i said and he leaned in and kissed me his handing moving up my leg. I stopped him immediately._

_"Oh no I'm not ready..." I started and he laughed like I was joking. _

_"Don't be silly, no ones here" he said kissing me again but I pulled away. _

_"No I'm not ready for that" I said and he looked pissed. _

_"After everything I did for you..." He started pushing me down and holding me there. I felt the panic hit me like a truck as I tried to get away but he was too strong for me to fight._

I woke up screaming and a startled Mariana woke up.

"Callie, callie what's wrong" she asked getting up from her bed to sit by me but I was already in the bathroom with a plan to end the panic quick.

Lena

I woke up to a scream and I first assumed it was Stef but when my wife had the same confused face I knew it wasn't.

"Callie" we said simultaneously jumping out of bed and running to her room. The rest of our children were coming out of their rooms confused. While Stef ran ahead I talked to them.

"Go in your room, it's ok" I said then followed Stef in. Mariana was sitting shocked on Callie's bed where she probably went to help her sister. Stef was already talking to Callie through the door.

"Callie it's ok." Stef said grabbing the spare key for the bathroom that's on top of the door. That's for emergencies like this.

What I saw I will probably never be able to unsee. Callie was on the floor crying her wrist bleeding from three violent cuts the razor falling from her hand.

"Mariana go to your brothers room" I said not wanting her to see her sister like this.

Stef

I saw my daughter in such a terrible state and it broke my heart. I ran into her and immediately took the razor and slid it towards Lena who picked it up. I took her into my arms and looked at the cuts. They were violent, done in a desperate panic. Lena came over and looked at the cuts.

"She needs to go to the hospital" Lena said and I know she's right. The cuts are deep and she already lost a lot of blood.

"No I'm fine" Callie said but I held her against me.

"It's ok Cal." I said as Lena put a temporary bandage on it to stop the bleeding.

"I'm sorry" she said and I couldn't stop the tears that came to my eyes. I know why she did it. I know she had a dream where she relived it. I've always had the luxury of waking up from them to being in my wife's arms.

"It's ok Callie. You are going to be ok" I said pushing away the images of my own real life nightmare that I know we have in common.

Lena helped us up and I wiped the tears away from my eyes.

"We are taking Callie to the hospital. She will be ok. I will call when we know more" Lena said for me as I lead Callie downstairs trying to keep my emotions in check for Callie.

Mariana

I can't believe this just happened. I knew Callie has been through hell with the Liam situation and it was resurfaced when it happened too my mom. Though I never thought she was hurting herself let alone would hurt herself bad enough too need to be taken to the hospital. I hope that her and Stef are going to be ok. I can't imagine how hard it was for Stef too see Callie like that.

"What happened?" Jesus asked me and I shrugged.

"She woke up screaming and ran to the bathroom is all i know" I said and they nodded.

"What happened to a somewhat normal family?" Brandon asked jokingly.

"Did that ever exist?" Jesus asked and we laughed sadly. This family has never been a simple traditional family. There's always been drama, even when we were little. Just us coming here was dramatic for everyone because we had to accept that we were safe here. Even before that there was Stef and Mike's nasty divorce and Mike's alcoholism. Pretty much we haven't been a normal problems too face family.

Stef

They treated her wounds and luckily she doesn't need a blood transaction but she still lost a lot.

"How could this happen?" I asked Lena trying to keep the tears at bay but i'm not winning.

"Hey it's ok" she said pulling me into the closest girls bathroom. She hugged me and I broke down. I hate knowing what she's been through. I hate knowing she's been through it too.

"No it's not she's shouldn't know…" I said in between sobs and gasped breaths.

"She shouldn't have been through that." I said and she just let me cry on her shoulder for a bit.  
>"I know babe. No one should ever have too go through it. We are going to help her, she will be ok" she promised.<p>

"This is my fault…" I said before I even realized it came out of my mouth.

"No!" she said the second I said it.  
>"Honey this isn't your fault, why would you say that?" she said shocked.<br>"Nothing" I said trying to dismiss it.  
>"No you don't say that without a reason. Talk to me" she said.<p>

"What about Callie?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"Honey Callie is being taken to the psych part of the hospital and we can't see her for two hours remember?" She said and I nodded even though I did forget about that.

"yeah just was making sure you knew" I said and she gave me a look 'of yeah sure you were'.

"Honey talk to me..." She said and I went to say something but she cut me off.

"About feeling guilty this happened" she said as if knowing I would ask her.

"I knew that." I lied and she nodded.

"Sure you did"

"Anyways" she said.

"Right... Let's go home" I said and she groaned.

"Stefanie." She said and I sighed.

"She was doing fine then what happened to me reminded her of it..." I said feeling bad. There had to of been something I could have done to prevent this.

"What? Stef you can't blame yourself for what happened" she said and I shook my head.

"She was doing great if I just acted like it didn't phase me this wouldn't have happened" I said and she shook her head immediately.

"No babe. You hold yourself to impossible expectations. This isn't your fault. It's Liam's fault!" She said and I know she's right but I'm the parent I should have protected her somehow.

"Don't blame yourself. None of this is your fault." She said.

"I should've protected her somehow" I said and she sighed.

"That's out of our control and you can't help that you're a terrible actress" she teased and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm kidding, love. I love you" she said kissing me.

"Let's go home, we will come back during visiting hours" she said and we went home to our worried children.

"What's going on? Where's Callie?" Mariana asked.

"She has to spend a week at the psych hospital as a precaution" I said sadly. I want her home but it's mandatory and probably for the best.

"Oh my god!" She said shocked.

"We can see her at eight today. We are taking the day off" Lena said.

Callie

Great now I have to stay here and twiddle my thumbs for a week. Apparently I have to attend an in-client therapy group for teenagers two days during the week. After the week is over it is advised to continue it but not mandatory.

I looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. What do I do until eight? I don't have my phone, there's not a tv or anything to do in here. They claim it's to keep me from things that can be upsetting. Translation: they want to keep me away from thing they think will possibly cause me to try and kill myself or help me kill myself. I'm not going to but sitting in this place bored out of my mind with nothing to do would only make me want to more. That's a lot of free time to depress myself.

Once they finally came they were only allowed to see me one at a time. Man juvie was less strict than this. Stef walked in first and I smiled awkwardly at her.

"I'm sorry" I said feeling bad. I know I'm making this harder on her.

She shook her head.

"Don't apologize." She said sitting next to me.

"What you are going through is not something you have to apologize for. You have been so strong all your life and you can lean on us now. We are here for you." She said and I nodded.

"I know I just panicked" I said lamely and she smiled at me.

"I know, it's ok. I hauled my entire family out of the board walk because I thought someone was following me, I have done it too." She said and I laughed.

"Yeah well it probably saved you some money" I said and she laughed.

"That very true... I know what it's like to have those dreams. To relive it and it feels so real. Like it's not going to end, but it will. No matter what happens in those dreams you're gonna wake up. You're gonna wake up to a family who loves you. The dreams will stop eventually and we will be stronger. We will be a better person and they can't do it to us again. They may have won one battle but they won't win the war, because we have each other. We have always been stronger than them and that won't change." She said and I hugged her tears streaming down her face. She was crying also.

"That's what we have to remember even when it gets hard. Because we are loved and that's what makes us stronger"

**I just literally cried so hard good thing I waited until I was home to write the last scene. Let me know what you think hope you all like it. **


	19. Chapter 19

Callie

I sat down and hid my arm in my big sweatshirt in an attempt to keep the bandage hidden. I know they are going to make me talk about it but i don't want them seeing it. I've never hurt myself that bad. I've never cut myself three times in a row like that. What's wrong with me.

"Ok hello everyone we have a few new faces today so lets go around and do the introduction circle. Melany why don't you tell us how the circle works" the therapist that does this session said to a a girl with short brown hair and a tattoo saying dyke and proud on her left arm. Well that's one way of coming out of the closet.

She rolled her eyes but did as told, "we go around say our name, what we want to talk about today, and one thing about yourself... It's pretty gay"

The therapist sighed and she continued.

"I'm melany, I go by Mel so don't call me melany. I don't know my ex is a bitch so yeah... Oh and I'm gay if you didn't pick up on that" she said pointing to the tattoo on her arm.

"You're turn, gorgeous" she said and I looked around before realizing she's talking to me.

"Oh um... I'm Callie, I guess what's going on at home, and I'm a foster child" I said I was debating saying I'm straight but i thought It would sound rude and she looks like she can take me.

"Alright your turn" she said as if she wanted to say more but thought better of it. He didn't make eye contact with her and I'm sure they hate each other.

"Hi I'm Morgan, I guess school drama..." He said and she rolled her eyes.

"And I play football but I just warm the bench for the real players" he joked and I laughed and he smiled at me. He's cute but seems approachable.

The circle went around and then finally it was Melany turns to talk. Which means I go after her. I don't know why I'm so nervous to talk to them they all seem like they have a lot of shit going on themselves.

When it was finally time for me to speak I slid my arm into my jacket pocket even though it's already in there.

"Well I am a foster kid my mom died when I was ten and me and my little brother Jude who was six at the time. We went from house to house and we are finally in a good home..." I started and he smiled at me.

"That's great."

"It is. My moms adopted Jude but I can't get adopted because me and Jude have a different dad... It's complicated." I said and he nodded.

"That has to be hard on you" he said and I nodded.

"That's just the beginning" I said and everyone looked shocked.

"I uh... Had a foster brother in an old foster home that liked me. One day he thought something was going to happen between us and I said no and so he forced me" I said and everyone had sad sympathy in their eyes.

"Um anyways... I self harmed for a while after that but I had to protect Jude so I ended up having to quit." I continued.

"That's really strong of you, Callie" he said and I nodded.

"I guess so but have some family stuff going on that made it resurface and I started again" I said not making eye contact with anyone. For some reason I don't feel comfortable sharing that Stef was raped. I feel like it's like it's someone else's secret to tell.

"What's going at home that's resurfaced it?" He asked and I sighed.

"If you don't mind sharing." He said.

"Um my one mom is a cop and there was rapist running around California, Carter I think was his name. Anyways my mom was taken hostage by him and you know" I said awkwardly feeling like I shouldn't have. I forget how crazy my family's story is sometimes and then I say it outloud and realize we need a tv show. Everyone looked shocked at how complicated this is, and they don't even know the whole story.

"Ok so has anyone else in the group have advice for Callie?" He asked and everyone looked around awkwardly.

"I used to cut and I was suicidal for a really long time and I finally had the courage to tell my girlfriend what was going on and her and her mom helped get me here and got me help. I guess just don't be afraid to ask." Melany said. Melany's story is that she kept her sexuality a secret from her parents because they would disown her and her mom caught her with her girlfriend. Needless to say she was disowned and her mom beat her up. She then went to live in a group home and her girlfriend cheated on her when none other than Morgan. Talk about drama, no wonder they hate each other.

"That's really good advice, Mel. Thank you. Anyone else have advice?" He asked but the rest sat quietly. I know after this I have a therapist meeting with my moms, not looking forward to that.

Lena

We sat and waited for her appointment to end so we can talk with him too. I have been meaning to talk to Stef about us looking into therapy. Right now we are ok but I think we need to make sure with what's going on that we stay that way. Our relationship right now is a delicate balance and can very easily be thrown off.

"So I was thinking maybe looking into couples therapy." I said and she looked over at me.

"Why would you do that?" She asked and i sighed.

"Don't you think we should look into it?" I asked and she looked at me sadly.

"I thought we were fine" she said like a kid that just figured out they aren't going to get ice cream.

"We are..." I said and she was about ready to respond when people started to come out and her therapist came in and introduced himself.

"Hello I'm Kyle Bettinger I'm Callie's therapist..." He said and Stef shook his hand.

"I'm Stef this is my wife Lena" she said and I shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you" I said.

"You too." He said and lead us back to the room where callie was sitting. She smiled awkwardly at us.

"So today Callie informed us of the complicated situation at home"he said sitting down across from us. I know Stef isn't comfortable knowing people know what happened to her but she's doing ok with it. I think she's starting to come to terms with the fact that it happened and that she can't always keep it in the past. She's starting to think that her co-workers are catching on to what's going on. She's having trouble dealing with knowing that people know. She hates nothing more than being thought of as a victim.

"Yeah we are slowly trying to get everything back to normal" Stef said pulling her sweatshirt around her more to cover her baby belly. She's not embarrassed about being pregnant but I know she realizes he knows what happened to her and will be able to put two plus two together.

"I can imagine that it is very hard to get back on the right track." He said sympathetically.

"It's not an easy road but we will get the through it together." I said smiling at Stef.

"Well it's great that Callie has good support for her. I would like to continue to see Callie every week for a while. I think that group can be good for her." He said and I looked over at her and she nodded.

"It's fine with me" she said and I smiled at her.

"Ok sounds good. There is also other therapy groups we have here that may be good to look into" he said and I know he's implying marriage counseling but wouldn't say it out loud.

"Thank you we will look into it." I said before Stef could shoot it down.

"Ok before we go is there anything that you want to talk to your moms about, Callie?" He asked and we both looked over at her.

"No that's good" she said and he nodded.

"Ok well I will see you next week Callie" he said and she smiled at him.

"See you then" she said and we left.

"So how did it go?" Stef asked before I could from the drivers side.

"Not bad. Everyone seems nice enough" she said and I smiled at her.

"Good because we don't want you dreading going" I said.

"I don't." She said.

Stef

Marriage counseling? I was just starting to think me and Lena were on the right track again finally. Now she throws marriage counseling at me? Just as I started to think things were getting back to normal she lets me know we aren't ok.

"What is it now?" I asked her feeling tears in my eyes.

"Stef what are you talking about?" She asked starting to make dinner.

"I thought we were finally ok. Now you want couples therapy, what am I doing wrong?" I asked before realizing it came out of my mouth. I hate pregnancy hormones they make crazy.

Lena looked over at me shocked.

"Nothing honey you are doing nothing wrong." She said hugging me.

"Then why are we not ok?" I asked and I know I sound almost whiny but I don't care right now.

"We are ok, babe. I just want to make sure we stay that way. We have so much going on right now that I just want to see a professional and make sure we stay on the right track. " she said and I sighed. I know she's not lying to me but I can't help but worry something else is going on.

"Right" I said trying to keep myself from saying something crazy. Since this all began I have freaked out on her for the stupidest things thinking it was something else. I knew it would happen I was psychotic when pregnant with Brandon, I don't know how mike dealt with it. He teases me now by saying I wonder why he drank, the asshole.

"Everything ok?" Lena asked knowing that I'm biting my tongue to keep me from saying something crazy. She actually wants me to say it which is crazy on her part.

"Why is there something going on?" I asked before I can stop myself from saying something crazy.

"No..." She said with a tone of voice telling me she's trying to proceed with caution.

"No tell me what's going on?" I said and she kissed me passionately.

"Nothing is going on, babe" she said and I sighed.

"Sorry I'm being psychotic again, aren't I?" I asked and she laughed.

"It's ok, baby." She said and I rolled my eyes.

"You have nothing to worry about. I would never cheat on you" she said kissing me again.

"Please talk to me when you feel insecure like that. I assure you, you don't need to feel like that" she said and I nodded.

"Good" she said kissing me one last time.

"Now can you make a salad?" she asked me and I started to make a salad. Hoping that we really are on the right track.

Callie

Today I finally get to come home. I've missed being home so much. I know I need to do everything to keep that from happening again. When Jude came and visited me I saw his worry, sadness and even a bit of fear in his eyes. I know he was worried he would lose me like we lost mom and I have to do everything to make sure he knows that won't happen. I have too make sure that doesn't happen. This family has been through too much I have too make sure i'm not adding too the list.

**Hope you like it. A few chapters until I skip time too the baby being born. Here's where I need your help, I need name suggestions so give me ideas.**


	20. Chapter 20

Lena

Mike came too get Brandon and yet again Brandon was messing around upstairs.  
>"So how is everything?" he asked and I laughed.<p>

"What drama are you asking about?" I said jokingly and he laughed.  
>"Yeah really, hows Stef?" he said. Moody, unpredictable, hot tempered?<p>

"She's ok" I said and he laughed.

"She driving you insane yet?" he asked laughing and I rolled my eyes.

"Glad you find this amusing" I said.  
>"Sorry but isn't she crazy, while pregnant" he asked and I nodded.<br>"She yelled at me the other day for doing nothing wrong. Literally yelled at me because I haven't done anything for her to yell at me for." I said and he laughed.

"What? That's crazy. See no she never had a problem finding something i did wrong too be mad at me for." he said and I laughed.

"If I were you I would start doing things you normally wouldn't and be like you wanted me to mess up" he said and I laughed.  
>"Yeah really. I think that's the logic that got you in trouble all the time" I said and he nodded.<br>"Yeah probably but she really can't yell at you for it you are doing what she asked of you" he said and I gave him a look of 'are you stupid?'

"Yes because that's how women work, Mike. No wonder you were constantly in trouble." I said and he laughed.  
>"You're right, you're the expert" he said and I laughed. I have always dated girls, some more crazy than others, and am one, I have learned what to do and what not to do way before meeting Stef.<p>

"So was she that bad pregnant with B?" I asked and he laughed.  
>"Well she was, but she never did that. The funniest argument I ever had with her was when she was like sixth months pregnant. She was actually the one wrong in the argument, and she knew it too, but she was still mad for some reason. Anyways we argued for a bit until she got annoyed and eventually said and I quote, 'You have a point and all, but being the one with the boobs in the relationship i think I automatically win.' It was the funniest thing she's ever said" he said and I laughed.<br>"David was like yeah she has a point, and just wrapped up society in one sentence" he said and I shook my head.  
>"That's terrible, she was definitely desperate to win that one" I said and he nodded.<p>

"I can hear you both" Stef said walking out and I bit my lip too not laugh but Mike burst out into laughter not caring.

"Oh you know it's true" he said and she rolled his eyes. Brandon came downstairs and laughed at the scene.

"Are you constantly in trouble?" he asked his dad.

"Yeah but now I can just leave when it happened" he said and I rolled my eyes.  
>"See ya" he said and Brandon kissed us both.<p>

"Ok so I know I have been crazy lately, sorry" she said surprising me. I thought I would have been in trouble.

"Hey you have a reason for it. I love you" I said kissing her.

"I love you too" she said.

"So I thought about what you said…" she started and I tried to think of what she's talking about.

"About what?" I asked.

"Marriage counseling. I think you are right, i think we should do it" she said shocking me.

"Really?" i asked and she nodded.

"Really.I think we need to go into this…" she said putting her hand over her stomach and I smiled at her.  
>"... with a sense of stability. With everything going on right now, we don't have it. I don't want too take a chance because I love you and I can't lose you" she said breaking my heart. I don't want her thinking that she could ever lose me.<p>

"Hey you won't lose me." I said and she smiled.

"I know I just want… you know" she said and I know what she means. A sense of security, something that will make sure we get though this.

"I do, we will look into it." i said kissing her.

Stef

I tried to wrap my mind around what happened. There's no way the entire station knows what has happened. How did they figure out?

"What?" I said looking at Kyle shocked.

"Nothing" he said as if he was trying to take back his words.  
>"Everyone knows?" I asked and he sighed.<br>"No the two rookies other than Jameson still think you are a whore." he said as if that's suppose too make me feel better.

"How long have they known?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I don't know everyone caught on at different times but around the time you got a desk job for the most of them" he said and I guess I should've known this would happen.

"Everyone?" I asked.

"Well yeah you hate paperwork. The only reason you would get a desk job is because you're expecting and well you're gay. It didn't add up and then Jameson was acting guilty and well we aren't stupid" he said and I sighed.

"Oh my god" I said.

"Besides you attacked your ex husband because he touched your shoulder and the court case practically said everything but your name." He said and I felt nauseous at the thought of it all.

"Why didn't anyone tell me everyone knew?" I asked starting to get the feeling people have kept it from me for a reason and someone is behind it.

"Uh David and Mike told us not to tell you" he said and I sighed. I knew it would be them.

"Oh they are so dead" I said getting up and going over to David who immediately knew he was in trouble.

"Did you tell everyone to keep it a secret they knew what happened?" I asked and he sighed.

"We were just worried about you" he said and I groaned. That's the worse thing he could have answered with.

"I don't want you to worry about me. I don't need to protected" I said and he nodded.

"Stef it ok, to let someone else help you" He said and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't need help, David. I can take care of myself, alright? I don't need you or mike making me out to be some broken victim" I said and the last word didn't even really come out.

"No one thinks that if you, Stef." He said but I shook my head and turned around walking away.

"Stef" he said but I just grabbed my car keys and left.

David

Yeah I knew she wouldn't take it so well. Maybe we shouldn't have done that. Captain came out and looked at me.

"Is she ok?" She asked and I nodded.

"She just figured out, do you want me to go after her?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No I want you to clock her out and leave her alone oh and give mike a heads up" she said and I nodded doing as told.

Lena

I was looking over the paperwork when my phone rang. Stef, oh this is never good.

"Hey baby" I said hoping it's something like 'hey I really want chocolate right now can you get me some, please?'.

"Mike and David had the station pretend they didn't know what happened, they have known the entire time" she said not surprising me. I sighed, I kind of figured her co-workers knew by now.

"I'm sorry, babe" I said getting ready for a rant as I continued to do the paperwork.

"It's ridiculous, I don't need to be protected" she said sounding pissed.

"They were just worried about you, love" I said filling in the needed information.

"Well they don't need to do that. I can take care of myself, I don't need the entire station to think of me as some weak victim" she said and I sighed.

"I know, honey. No one thinks that of you" I said but I know she's not going to believe it.

"No they do, they totally made it worse for me." She complained.

"Honey they didn't do that on purpose" I said and she sighed.

"It doesn't matter they should've thought about that" she said and I know it's going to be impossible to argue with her.

"Honey I know you are upset but it's not that bad" I tried to reason with her but she wasn't having it.

"Do you have any idea how long I have worked to get the respect I had at work" she said and she has a point. She has had to work for every ounce of respect she gets at work.

"I know you did, babe, but you didn't lose it. Your co-workers still have respect for you, if not more, as they did before. You are still their fellow cop, that hasn't changed." I said and she sighed.

"Yeah but... I don't want them thinking of me as a victim." She said sounding ashamed.

"Hey listen to me,ok? They don't think of you as a victim. They think of you as the brave cop who did everything to keep her family safe. That's heroic, it's nothing to be ashamed of" I said hoping to get her to calm down. I know her co-workers don't see her as a victim, they pity her a little bit but I would never tell her that, I have already talked to Mike about it.

"You guys weren't even in danger" she said as if that changes anything.

"So you thought we were. You did what ever you had to do to keep us safe. That's what a hero does" I said honestly.

"I'm not a hero" she said and I sighed.

"You're mine" I said honestly. I have seen her get seriously hurt trying to save someone's life. She has almost gotten herself shot trying to save someone else from being shot, she has been through hell to save people. If that's not a hero I don't know what is.

"Really?" She asked actually shocked by that.

"Are you kidding me Stef? You have done everything to save people's lives, people you don't even know. You have gone through hell to save me and the kids..." I said and she interrupted me.

" That's just what anyone would do" she said.

"No babe, not just anyone would. You're a hero" I said and she sighed.

"What do you want me to get you?" I asked sensing that she is craving something.

"An orange cream smoothie?" She said and I laughed.

"Sure babe." I said finishing up the paperwork and grabbing my purse.

"Oh and French fries" she said and I rolled my eyes. I can handle her pregnancy cravings but there is something wrong with dipping French fries into a smoothie or milkshake.

"Ok well I'm making it my lunch do you want something else?" I asked since I might as well just take my lunch break since it's about that time.

"Oh yes can I have the sweet and tangy chicken wings... Wait do I want the hot wings?" She asked and I groaned.

"Ok fine I will get the hot wings and get you the sweet and tangy and we will split sound good?" I asked.

"Perfect, see this is why I married you" she joked and I rolled my eyes.

"Alright I'll meet you at the station" I said and she hesitated to answer me.

"Oh um I'm at home. I kind of walked out" she said and I sighed.

"Ok fine I'll meet you at home, try to not make that a habit" I said.

"Ok sorry" I went out and got what she asked for making sure I didn't forget anything. I got two orders of fries, two smoothies (the one she wanted and a strawberry one for me but I might not get it all), and the two different types of wings.

"Oh yes food is here" she said like an excited child on Christmas morning.

"Yes merry Christmas" I joked and she rolled her eyes. She took her smoothie and wings from me and I carried in the rest.

"Oh I almost forgot how good they are" she said drinking some of her smoothie. We sat down and ate the wings and French fries. She dipped the fries in her smoothie and I slid mine away.

"Oh I see how it is, I can't have even a sip?" She asked and I laughed.

"You can drink it but you can't dip fries into it" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"It's good" she said but agreed to it.

"So Mariana was talking to me about names the other day." She said bringing back up the on going conversation. I have brought up many names that she has said no to and the other way around. We are having trouble agreeing to one.

"Oh did she have any you actually liked?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"Yes actually she did. I liked Brayleigh, Lea and Zoe" she said and I nodded.

"Hmm I really like Brayleigh maybe Brayleigh Lea" I said and she smiled.

"I like that... Brayleigh Lea Adams Foster" she said rubbing her stomach.

I moved and put my hand over her stomach leaning so I can talk to the baby.

"Hey baby. How do you like Brayleigh Lea?" I said she kicked right next to my hand.

"I'll take that as a yes" Stef said and I kissed her.

"I love you" I said and then went down to her stomach.

"And I love you, Brayleigh" I said and I kissed her belly.

**I hope you like it and thank you for all the wonderful name suggestions. **


	21. Chapter 21

Stef-three months later (nine months pregnant)

I put a piece of bacon in my mouth and poured myself a glass of orange juice.

"Can you please wear a bra?" Brandon asked and I rolled my eyes.

"I will when you start" I said and Lena gave me her look.

"Stef honey you do need to wear a bra" she said and I groaned.

"Why it's not like anyone is gonna be checking me out?" I said annoyed.

"You don't know that please go put one on" She said and I groaned but did as told.

"No one blinked an eye when I was pregnant with you" I said to Brandon before going upstairs.

We finished our breakfast and then took the kids to school before going to our therapist session. This is our second appointment and it's going well. It's good to know that he thinks we are on the right track.

"Hey it's nice to see you guys again" he said.

"You to" I said.

"You close too you're due date yet?" he asked me and I nodded.

"It's tomorrow, and yeah anytime now will be nice" I said and Lena nodded.

"You have everything ready?" he asked and I laughed.

"Probably not" I said and Lena sighed.  
>"Yes we are ready babe." she said.<p>

"Sure we are, you can never be ready" I said and he laughed.  
>"No she's right I have three kids wasn't ready for any of them when they were born." he joked and I nodded.<p>

"Anyways so anything in particular you will like to talk about today?" he asked.

"We have been pretty good lately" I said honestly looking at Lena for confirmation.

"Everything is going pretty well right now. Stef haven't had a nightmare in almost two weeks…" she said happily. Ok so that's not true, I had one two nights ago but it wasn't related to what happened so I don't see a reason to correct her. Dr. Golan can see right though me through.

"Is that true Stef?" he asked me.  
>"Well I had one two nights ago but it wasn't related…" I said and Lena looked over at me.<p>

"What why didn't you say something?" she said and I shrugged my shoulders.  
>"It wasn't related, I can't even remember what happened anymore" I said and he nodded.<br>"How do you know it's not related? Dreams can mean something that doesn't appear to be what's going on" he said and I sighed.  
>"Ok well I can't remember it so I don't know what to tell you" I said and he nodded.<br>"I want you to keep track of them from now on. Keep a journal of some sort and write the date and as much as you can remember of the dream on it. Try to write it down as soon as you can, so you don't forget anything" he said and I nodded.  
>"Ok I guess I can do that." I said.<p>

"Good now. Lets talk about the baby" he said.

Lena

I don't know if I'm excited or terrified that Stef's due date is tomorrow. I really hope Brayleigh looks just like Stef, I don't want her looking anything like her terrible birth father. I'm still worried I'm not going to feel connected to her. What if she looks like her dad and is a constant reminder of what happened? How will either of us be able to move past that?

"What about her?" Stef asked putting her hand over her stomach.

"I want to know how you are both feeling about knowing she will be born soon" he said and Stef stretched out rubbing her stomach.

"I'm ready for it, sick of being pregnant" she said and I laughed at her. I agree i'm sick of her being pregnant, I want my not moody wife back.

"What?" she asked and I put my hands up in surrender.

"Nothing just...I agree i'm sick of her being pregnant." I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh i'm sorry are you carrying a nine pound baby in your uterus" she said under her her breath and I rubbed her shoulders.

The doctor laughed awkwardly at Stef. He should see her at home.

"What I meant is… are we feeling nervous or worried about anything?" he asked looking at me.

"I'm still worried I won't feel connected to her" I admitted looking at Dr. Golan and not Stef.

"Me too" she said and I looked at her shocked.

"Ok what's making you worried about it?" he asked both of us.

"I told myself that by the time she is born I will be over what happened but i'm not. What if I can't get over it" she said. I should have known she would feel like that. She expects so much of herself and of course she would think she should 'just get over it' by the time she's born.

"It's not something you should expect yourself to just get over." I said taking her hand.  
>"It happened nine months ago" she said and I shook my hand.<br>"What happened to you isn't something that's a quick fix. It's going to take a while too be fully 'over' what happened. Certainly not in nine months, especially with your condition added on top of it." he said.

"I have five kids and one very quickly on her way I need to be back to myself for there sake" she said yet again thinking of her kids before herself.  
>"And you have me, I'm here for you" i said and she smiled at me.<br>"I know… i'm just saying.." she started but trailed off.  
>"Lenas right you need to learn it's ok too lean on someone else. The only way to get completely better is to let her help you" he said and she looked down. She has gotten a bit better at letting me help her but she's still Stef. She still expects things from herself that she simply wouldn't expect from other people. She expects herself too just brush it off and walk away from the debris and damage and act like nothing happened. She can't except any type of weakness on her part, mental or physical. It's gonna take a lot of therapy to change that because that's who she is.<p>

"Ok what's scaring you about it Lena?" he asked and she looked over at me.

"I just… I hate knowing how she was conceived and I don't want to think of her that way." I admitted and Stef looked over at me.

"You never could. You are an amazing mother, always have been. You can't possibly not love a child." she said and I smiled at her. I hope she's right.

Callie

Brandon took me too my therapist appointment and i'm dreading being here. Somehow i managed to get myself in the middle of an unwanted love triangle with two people who wanted to kill each other before hand. Melony has thing for me and is obnoxiously persistent and Morgan is the same way. I can't tell if they both really like me or if they just are finding another thing to fight over.

"Hey babe, ready for this waste of our time?" Mel asked and I sighed.  
>"Mel, please don't call me babe" I said annoyed and Morgan stepped in.<p>

"Would you stop harassing her? Some people aren't dykes" he said and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes is it hard too find yourself a boy?" she asked and he looked pissed.

"Ok everyone ready?" the doctor said stepping in between them.

"Lets not fight" he said under his breath and lead us into the room.

"Ok lets start with the introduction circle…" he said and my phone vibrated in my pocket. I know i'm not suppose to answer but my mom is two days over her due date and it's probably about that.

"I'm sorry i should take this" I said and he nodded.  
>"Hey." I said not even looking at the caller id.<p>

"Hey mom went into labor I'm coming too pick you up" Brandon said. I knew it would be for that. Well that's good news at least, it was getting old dealing with her pregnancy hormones.

"Ok is she ok?" I asked.

"Yeah she will be" he said.

"I was actually asking about Lena" I joked a little seriously.

"Yeah really hopefully she will make it" he joked.

"I'm sorry my mom went into labor my brother is picking me up" I said and he nodded.

"Oh ok congratulations" he said and I smiled at him. I'm really glad I got out of that they are driving me crazy.

Lena

She sat down on the couch and attempted to get herself comfortable. Hopefully this baby comes soon.

"Why aren't you here yet?" she said to her stomach annoyed. I moved over and sat behind her rubbing her shoulders.

"Why isn't she here yet?" she asked her head going against my shoulder.  
>"I'm sorry babe. She will be here soon." I said hoping i'm telling her the truth.<p>

"Well she can be here now" she said frustrated and I kissed her.

"I know babe" I said continuing to massage her shoulders.

"Ow" she said all the sudden and I pulled my hands away from her shoulders.

"You ok, baby?" I asked and she gripped my hand hard and tried to breathe. Guess she got her wish.

Mariana

I can't believe I'm going to have a little sister. My siblings are torn on whether this is a good thing or not. I understand they are worried this is going to be hard on Stef (the pregnancy was hard on her but she managed) and maybe even Lena but i think it's going too good for everyone. As terrible as what happened to her is something good is coming out of it and i think that's going to be what helps her though it.

The name Brayleigh means Hope and honestly everyone can use a lot of it. I'm hoping she brings hope, it's been needed for a long time. The last year has been hard on everyone. It started with Stef being shot and everything went downhill fast from their. Maybe this is the end of the terrible streak. Maybe everyone will start to have better luck. She is our last hope that everything will be normal again. That and I'm sure she will be so cute.

**Hope you like it next chapter Brayleigh is going too here. Which one of the moms are going too have trouble feeling connected too her?**


	22. Chapter 22

Lena

I watched as our baby was handed to Stef and I leaned closer to get a better look at her. She is so cute and I'm pretty sure she's going to look a lot like her mom. She has her eyes that's for sure.

"She's so cute" I said playing with her little feet.

"She looks like you" I said to her and she smiled at me.

"Really I think she looks like you" she joked and I laughed.

"Oh my god she's adorable" Mariana said coming in the room and looking at her sister.

"She really is cute" callie said.

"Uh she's ok. She kinda looks like a baby" Jesus joked and we all laughed.

"You ok?" Callie asked.

"Yeah I'm fine" Stef said and she nodded.

"Good to know I was asking mom" she joked looking over at me.

"Yeah we didn't know if she would make it" Brandon joked and Stef rolled her eyes.

"Haha your so funny." Stef said sarcastically.

"Can I hold her?" Mariana asked.

"Oh um am I allowed to hold her first?" I asked and she smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah sorry thought you did already" she said and Stef handed her to me.

"Her head" Stef said like she was talking to a five year old. I smiled at her and reminded myself she's just paranoid and not trying to be insulting.

"I know, babe. I have held one before" I said and nodded.

"Right, I knew that" she said as I looked down at her. She is wrapped up in a blanket but she has kicked her feet free.

Mariana leaned over so she could see her.

"So are we giving her a name?" Brandon asked.  
>"Nah we are just gonna call her 'her' for the rest of her life" Stef said sarcastically.<p>

"Funny have you came up with one yet or are you still fighting over it?" Brandon asked.

"No we are calling her 'her'" she insisted jokingly.

"Her name is Brayleigh Lea Adams Foster" I said killing her fun.

"I like it" Callie said as little Brayleigh grabbed my finger. I could have started crying right there and then. My family has been though hell lately and finally we have some hope (literally that's what her name means) and everything can finally get back to the way it used to be. Something amazing came out of this whole mess of a year. I smiled as she fell asleep. We finally have a baby.

Stef

How could this happen? I mean sure I thought it might, was afraid it will but i didn't think it would. I didn't think it would really happen. Am I a terrible mother? I just had a baby and I don't love her. Hell my wife seems more connected to her already. I told myself her being born would change everything but it hasn't changed a thing. I was so scared she would end up only having one mother because I didn't know if Lena was truly with me in this but it happened anyways. Only difference is Lena is the one mother.

Brayleigh was passed from kid to kid until she woke up screaming for me. Jesus who was holding him at the time didn't know what to do so he quickly handed her back to me not wanting to deal with it.

"It's ok i think she's just hungry" I said taking her from his arms and pulling down the hospital gown for her. All the kids looked away immediately and we both laughed.

"Can we go down to the gift shop and pick something out for her?" Mariana asked. She went shopping with my mom, when she was out, and they got a lot of clothes, stuffed animals and all that for her.

"Sure that's a great idea" Lena said and the kids who normally wouldn't want to go shopping quickly went with her to avoid the awkwardness. Lena handed her some money.

"Mom this five dollars" she said and I sighed. She acts like she needs to buy her a lot of things right now.

"Well it's not like I grabbed my purse before taking mom to the hospital" she said.

"Besides its not like she needs a lot." Lena said.

"She doesn't even have clothes right now" Mariana pointed out.

"So you can get her an outfit when you go home tonight. Brandon didn't have clothes for like the first three fours days of his life" I said and he glared at me.

"Mom" he said horrified.

"What your dad had one job and he screwed it up." I said and Lena laughed.

"How did your mom let that happen?" Lena asked and I laughed.

"She bought a lot of clothes like early in the pregnancy and she guessed the gender wrong and your dad was opposed to you wearing pink clothes" I said and Lena laughed.

"Glad someone didn't want to traumatized me" he said and I smiled.

"What a shame that would be hilarious" Mariana said and he rolled his eyes.

"Oh don't worry I'm sure we have a picture somewhere" I said and he groaned walking out and the rest of the kids followed.

"Your terrible" she said and I laughed.

"What its true" I said.

"She's definitely your child, she sure can eat" she teased and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey don't listen to her we had a hard day" I said to her kissing her head.

"I can go for food myself" I complained as she finally decided she had enough and I put her against my shoulder and burped her.

"Definitely your kid" she said and I laughed.

"She's jealous, don't listen to her" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"How are you?" She asked sitting next too me and putting her arm around my shoulder.

"Sore" I responded and she smiled kissing my head.

"Is it weird too have a baby again after all these years?" she asked and I rolled my eyes.  
>"I don't know what you are talking about Brandon is only five" I joked and she laughed.<p>

"Sure whatever you want to tell yourself. She's got a lot of older siblings too look up too" she said and I nodded.  
>"Yeah how did we even get them? They just kinda show up" I joked and she laughed.<br>"You're terrible. I love you" she said kissing me.

"I love you too" I said glad she's here too keep me calm because I would probably be freaking out at this point. I know from experience that doesn't look good and then the nurses get a little concerned about giving the baby too you.

"And I love you" she said kissing Brayleigh's head. Yeah tables turned again.

Lena

I can tell Stef isn't ok and when I got her alone she didn't answer the question I was really asking. She looks freaked out and almost depressed. She puts on a good mask for our kids but I can tell she's not herself. I can't help but wonder if she feels connected to Brayleigh at all. I was so worried I wouldn't but all I can feel is love right now, but Stef seems to not be their. I know Stef I know it will fade but she doesn't get that. She probably views this as her being a terrible mother. I think she's just overwhelmed right now.

"Talk to me?" I asked her after a while of her being in her own world looking down at our daughter.

"About?" she asked looking over at me.

"What you're feeling… or not feeling" I said and she sighed tears coming too her eyes.

"What's wrong with me? Am I really this bad of a mother?" she asked confirming my belief.

"No babe. You aren't capable of being a terrible mother. You are just overwhelmed right now" I said taking Brayleigh from her arms and putting her in her little bed.

"What if I never love her?" she said quietly as if not wanting to admit she doesn't love her right now.

"You will. You're not capable of it." I said pretty sure I know what's going on here. When I did research on rape victims and on pregnancy both said that women who go though with a pregnancy after being raped are at high risk of suffering from Postpartum Depression. She seems to have the symptoms of it.

"You said that when i was pregnant with her. You said it will fade when she's born" she said and I wrapped my arms around her.

"You are just overwhelmed" I said and she rested her head against my shoulder. I can see just how tired she is both physically and mentally.

Sharon

The second I heard my daughter went into labor I booked a plane ticket for the next flight out. I wish I was there and I was going to come out sooner but flights have been canceled due to some bad storms. I was an hour away from San Diego when I got a call saying Brayleigh Lea Adams Foster was born at 7:22 am on March ninth. Which was almost sixteen hours after I was called saying she was in labor, poor Stef.

Lena sent me a picture of Stef holding her and I zoomed in too see her better. She's adorable, and I'm sure she's going to look just like Stef. Which is great because I don't want her too look anything like that man.

I got in too San diego, I had to take a taxi, at a little before nine in the morning and called stef too let her know i will be there soon.

"Hey mom" she said.

"Hey hows my two new mommies doing?" I asked and I can tell she's rolling her eyes.

"We are fine, mom." she said.

"And how is my beautiful new granddaughter doing?" I asked so excited to meet her.

"She's fine, she's sleeping" she said.

"Ok I will be out in like fifteen minutes" I said.

"How did you get in so quick?" she asked shocked.

"I got the next flight and then took a taxi" I said and she sighed.

"Oh mom why didn't you tell us you were here?" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Because I wouldn't want you sending Lena too get me." I said.

"I wouldn't have, actually probably would have sent Mike." she admitted and I laughed. The funny thing is Mike would have done it.

"What he owes me for something." she said.

"Well i'm here. I'm taking your car too the hospital" I said and she couldn't resist the urge to make a joke.

"Oh is he ok. He has seemed a little under the weather lately" she joked and I laughed knowing she would say something like that.

"You're hilarious, i'll see you in fifteen minutes." I told her and then grabbed her car keys and my bag full of baby stuff they will need for the next two days and headed out to see my little granddaughter.

Stewart

Lena called me and let me know that Stef went into labor last night a little before five and Dana got us the first flight out. We got in at eight which was about a half an hour too late to be their when Brayleigh was born, unfortunately. We got to the hospital a little before nine both excited to meet her.

"Mom dad" Lena said hugging both of us.

"Hey honey. Can we see her?" I asked and she laughed.  
>"Yeah of course" she said and we went too Stef's hospital room.<p>

"Stef is a sleep, don't wake her I just got her too go too sleep" she joked in a whisper. We went in and sure enough Stef was asleep and so we quietly went into see Brayleigh who was laying in her bed awake. Dana picked her up and I leaned closer to get a better look of her.

"Oh she's so cute. I'm so glad I finally have a grandbaby" she said and I smiled at her. I wouldn't say anything, and I actually got Dana too not say it either, but we were always silently wishing they would have a baby together. We love all our grandkids but we never got too have them when they where babies. Brandon was already four when Stef and Lena started dating and the twins were five when they foster-adopted them and obviously Jude and Callie weren't babies. So we never got too have that and I'm glad we finally got that. Not only that but I know Lena was upset she didn't get too have a baby.

"She's going to be Stefs spitting image" I said glad that's not a problem at least. The drama of what happened is nowhere near over and she better look like Stef or it's going to get even worse.

**Let me know what you think.**


	23. Chapter 23

Sharon

I finally got to the hospital and the kids met me at the door.

"Gram" Mariana said hugging me. I hugged the rest of the kids and we went up to her room. In the room was Dana, Stewart, Lena, Stef and little Brayleigh. Stewart was holding her and he handed her to me.

"This is Brayleigh Lea Adams Foster" Lena said and I looked down at the little girl. She is such a cutie.

"Oh hey there sweetie" I said smiling down at her.

Lena

It was just me, Stef and brayleigh because everyone went home. Stef sighed at the sound of Brayleigh starting to cry.

"You hungry again? This is like the second time you have eaten supper" she said and I laughed.

"I got her" I said stopping her from getting up. I grabbed Brayleigh and handed her too Stef. Stef started to feed her and I sat down behind her. I felt the similar feeling of jealousy that I had a bit when she was pregnant. I felt terrible that I would even feel that way. What's wrong with me anyways. Brayleigh is my child too, so what's the need in feeling that way. I just wish I was the one that carried her, and I wish I was the one that was breast feeding. I just feel so jealous that because of Stef being the birth mom she is the one spending the most time with her.

Stef

I hate that we aren't in the right place too have a newborn. I'm being a terrible mother and something is bugging Lena. No marriage counseling could prepare us for this. We don't have a therapist here too make us talk about what's going on with each other. I know from experience what happens when we start to keep things to ourselves. When we start to think 'Oh it's not important enough to bring up'. I know that me being a lesbian wasn't what killed me and Mike's marriage (and so does he) even though It did put a lot of strain on it. What caused me and Mike's divorce was the lack of communication. We were good friends but when we started to date it wasn't a healthy relationship at all.

I can't have me and Lena getting a divorce. No matter how much we think that our relationship will last forever. No matter how invincible we think we are, we aren't. We can easily fall apart and that's what scares me.

"Tell me what you're thinking" I said looking down at my daughter who is still feeding.

"What do you mean?" she asked.  
>"What's bugging you, something is bugging you" I said as she played with Rayleigh's feet.<p>

"I'm just thinking of Frankie. I miss her" she said and the similar feeling of grief came back over me. I miss her too.

"Me too, I miss her so much." I said.

"I know it's not right but too be honest I feel jealous of you…" she said shocking me. Jealous?

"Jealous? Why?" I asked.

"It's stupid, I know. I just feel jealous that you got to be pregnant and have a baby and…" she said trailing off. Wow I really didn't see that coming.

"She's our baby." I said and she sighed.  
>"I know that. I do, I know… I just.. it's stupid" she said and I shook my head.<br>"It's not stupid, it's not. We lost a baby and there is no right way to handle that. Have we talked about the miscarriage I had when Brandon was two?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Not in detail but it has came up. You never seemed too want to talk about it." she said and I nodded. Brayleigh finally decided she was full and I grabbed the towel and burped her and sure enough she spit up on me.

"Oh thank you. That's so nice of you" I said sarcastically taking the towel off my shoulder.

"Maybe if you didn't eat so much that wouldn't have happened" I said wiping the side of her mouth. I handed her too Lena knowing she wants to hold her.

"Anyways I remember how empty I felt afterwards. I remember being mad at myself because I thought I should have stopped it somehow. I know that Brandon was the only reason I got through that. I remember taking B to the park and there would be all these new moms and I was so jealous that they got to have a baby and all of that." I started tears in my eyes at the memory. Now I have a daughter and I don't feel that love. It was mothers like me that pissed me off the most back then, no wonder Lena is jealous.

"I know that it is so hard, I do. Just remember she's our baby. It doesn't matter that I was the one that was pregnant with her or any of that. She's still our kid, just like the rest of our kids. I know you crave the experience of bearing a child, I know you do. That's natural. But you don't need to give birth to a child to have that connection to them. You have that with all of our kids including the one sucking on her fingers right now." I said and she laughed sadly. I leaned in and kissed her. I pulled apart and gave her a hug, gently of course because Brayleigh is in her arms.

"I love you" I said.

"I love you too" she said and looked down at our daughter.

Lena

Today we finally get to bring her home and everyone is so excited. We have everything ready for her at home. Her crib is in me and Stefs room and she already has a lot of stuffed animals and all that. We still had Frankies stuff and she got her own, between Mariana and Sharon she's going to be drowning in toys. Thankfully Sharon actually bought us some stuff that is needed. Sharon bought us a breast pump when she realized we didn't have one yet for Frankie and a crap load of diapers and stuff we needed.

I sat her down in her mini bed by Stefs hospital bed and took off her little pajamas with pandas on them and changed her into her pajamas with the hearts on it.  
>"Oh apparently it's not a panda day" Stef said and I rolled my eyes.<p>

"She's worn them for two days." I said and she laughed.

"She's a newborn who she dressing to impress" she said and I laughed.

"I just want to see her in the other pajamas" I said and she put her hands up in surrender. I picked up Brayleigh and turned to her.

"You ready to go?" I asked her.

"Yes" she said and I put her in her car seat. She started crying immediately.

"Oh honey. We will be home soon" I said covering her up and putting the tiny lion stuffed animal Mariana got her at the gift shop. I grabbed our bags of stuff and Stef grabbed By Rayleigh's car seat.

"We have everything?" she asked.

"I double checked" I said and she nodded.

"Good i'm ready to go home." she complained leaving and I followed her. I already signed us out and we went out too my car.

"Ok so I don't remember how to do this" Stef admitted and I shook my head at her.  
>"Stefanie I asked you if I had too look up how to do the car seat and you were insistent you remembered and It wasn't that long since Brandon was that young" I said and she sighed.<p>

"Ok sorry I guess i don't remember." she said and I rolled my eyes. I threw the bags in the other side of the car. I grabbed Rayleigh's car seat and put it in correctly and she looked over at me confused.

"What I know you too well" I said and she looked offended.

"What does that mean?" she asked getting into the drivers side.

"That means you could barely remember you're own name while pregnant and there's no way you remembered how to do a car seat from sixteen years ago. I looked it up"I said and rolled her eyes.

"I knew my name"

"I said barely. You called Jesus Jesus as in how you pronounce the Lords name the other day" I said and she sighed.

"It's an honest mistake" she said and I laughed.

"You were so confused when he said 'Oh i'm sorry I only answer to prayers'" I said laughing at the memory. We drove back to the house teasing each other, mostly making fun of how bad she was while pregnant and her denying it happened claiming she doesn't remember it.

Once we finally got home everyone came out to greet us and everyone wanted to hold her but eventually we decided it was only fair for Stef to carry her into her new home.

"Hey this is you're home" she said and we all happily welcomed her home.

**Hey hope you like it. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I know I don't write really long chapters and get them up all the time but between school and work i'm pretty busy but I always try to make time for writing because I love it. I might get another chapter up tonight because of the Superbowl, I hate football and so I get bored and end up writing (but hey it comes with good food). Anyways let me know what you think because it keeps me motivated. I'm thinking this will be around 40-45 chapters, maybe not who knows. **


	24. Chapter 24

Stef

I woke up too the sound of Brayleigh crying and groaned. I looked at the clock, 10:00. Ok so we just got her too go too sleep about half an hour ago and she's already awake.

"I got her" Lena said getting up and going to get her. I laid back down and attempted to go back to sleep. Instead of going to sleep I watched as Lena tried to calm her down.

"Shh honey why are you being fussy?" She asked checking to make sure her diaper was still good.

"She needs changed?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No just being fussy" she said changing her pajamas to see if that was the problem but she kept crying.

"How are you hungry?" I asked since I just fed her a bit before we put her to sleep.

"Just try feeding her for a bit, maybe she just has your appetite." She said and I rolled my eyes.

"Ok" I said taking her and pulling down my pajama shirt but she didn't try to eat. She stopped crying though and Lena sat beside me.

"Apparently she just wanted you" she said sounding a bit jealous.

"No I think she just stopped being fussy. Here why don't you put her back to bed." I said handing Brayleigh to Lena but she started crying again.

"No I think she just wanted you" she said and I sighed.

"It's not personal. Brandon had days where he would cry every time I picked him up and the next he would cry every time Mike picked him up. Babies are just fussy." I said hoping that she's not taking it personally.

"I know, I'm fine. Just glad she stopped crying, maybe she will go to sleep if you put her down" she said and I nodded and thankfully she wasn't being fussy when I put her down.

Mike

Stef and Lena are having a big dinner tonight with family and friends and I was invited. I showed up a little earlier than was said but I know it won't be a problem. Stef opened the door and she had the baby in her arms. She attempted to calm her but Brayleigh was still screaming her lungs out.

"Sorry about her she's just being fussy" Stef said sounding clearly upset.

"You ok?" I asked and the oven beeped.

"Stef baby can you get that" Lena said from upstairs. She almost seemed panicky at the sudden beeping noise.

"Oh um..." She said and I was about to offer to help out but she quickly handed Brayleigh to me.

"Hold her for a sec-..." She said after quickly giving her to me.

"...sure" I said repositioning her so she doesn't feel like I'm going to drop her. She definitely does like Stef.

Stef quickly grabbed the supper out of the oven and turned the stove off.

"What is wrong?" She asked Brayleigh sounding like she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Have you tried feeding her?" I asked.

"I fed her like ten minutes ago" she said going back over to me. Lena came downstairs and saw her panicky wife.

"Stef, you ok?" She asked rubbing her back.

"Yeah she won't stop crying" she said and Lena came over and took Brayleigh from me.

"Thanks for holding her" she said and gently rocked Brayleigh until she finally calmed down.

"I'm gonna go put her down for a bit." She said and went upstairs.

"You ok?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Yeah sorry" she said but she's obviously not ok.

Brandon came downstairs and looked at me and then at his mom.

"You alright?" He asked and she nodded.

"Hey dad" he said and Lena came back downstairs and went over to Stef.

"You ok?" She asked kissing her.

"Yeah sorry I freaked out" she said and Lena kissed.

"As long as you are ok" she said. Well something is wrong here. They just had a baby and they are acting far from a couple who just had a baby. They love kids and never got to have a baby they should be living the dream right now. I know that this family has been through hell and it's tough to come back from that but I thought they would be in a bit of a temporary paradise. It's sad they aren't enjoying being new moms together.

Callie

I woke up from the nightmare and was panicking. My first instinct was to run into the bathroom and cut myself but I reminded myself i'm stronger than that. I haven't cut myself in almost two weeks and i'm trying to keep it that way but in order to do that i need my moms. I walked into there room and saw that Brayleigh was sound asleep in bed for once. I snuck quietly past her crib too moms bed where they were both cuddled up.

"Mom" I said desperately shaking Stef's arm.

"Hmm what is it?" she woke up and then saw me and knew instantly. She sat up and the motion of her wife moving woke Lena up.

"What's wrong, love?" she asked Stef still asleep and then she saw me.

"Hey come on" Stef said and I sat down across from them.

"Tell me what happened." Stef said looking worried.

"I had another nightmare" I said and she hugged me.

"It's ok. I love you" she said and then she whispered something in my ear.

"Don't forget we are stronger" she said and I nodded.

"Thank you" I said and we broke apart.

"Thank you for coming to us." Lena said hugging me.

"I know it has to be hard to resist the urge and come to us instead. I'm so glad you came to us" Stef said and I nodded.  
>"And we are very appreciative you didn't wake the cryer over their" Stef said and I laughed.<p>

"Of course." I said.

"Do you want to stay with us for a bit?" Lena asked and I nodded. I wasn't ready to go back to my bed and be alone yet. Lena moved over and I laid down in between them.

"Thanks" I said. This is the first time since I was young I could go into my parents room in the middle of the night when I needed them.

"Of course, you can come in with us if you need us" Stef said. I still can't believe I finally got a family that cares about me.

Lena

Stef has done her best to mask what's going on too the kids but I know better. I know she's not ok. I know she's still in a bad place right now and i don't know what to do to change that. She has all but the diagnoses of Post Partum Depression. I just want her too be happy but she's the opposite right now. She puts on a smile but that doesn't mean she's happy.

"If you could go back too that day and change what happened, would you?" I asked sitting next to her. I know she wouldn't and i'm trying to show her that.

"No" she said without even thinking about it.

"I know you feel like a terrible mother but no terrible mother would say that. You have been though so much, have been though hell and you still wouldn't change it. If that's not because of Brayleigh I don't know what it's for" I said and she sighed.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked and I sighed.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong with you. I think you are suffering from Postpartum Depression." I said and she looked up at me.

"I'm fine" she said denying it but I don't think she is.

"Really because you are still barely sleeping or eating, you are anxious, and depressed and I want you to see someone." I said blurting out the last part. If she has PPD she needs to be not only seeing a psychiatrist but also talking to her doctor about it.

"I don't need a therapist" she said but I don't believe it for a second.

"No you need a psychiatrist, honey it's nothing too be ashamed of." I said. I have done plenty of research on it and it's scary. It's not just her feeling disconnected but she could end up feeling like she should hurt herself or even Brayleigh. I don't believe that she would do anything to hurt her but I don't want her hurting herself. I don't want too take a chance.

"A psychiatrist?" she asked catching on that means possibly being put on medicine.

"Yes listen one appointment. That's all i'm asking and if he says we have nothing to worry about that you don't have too go again. If he wants too see you again you have to go through" I said.

"You claim there's nothing wrong with me and then throw out a diagnoses and psychiatry?" she said annoyed.

"Look I just want to make sure you are ok." I said and she sighed.

"What if i'm not?" she asked.

"Than you get the help you need. It's treatable...with some medication and psychotherapy" I said and she groaned.

"One appointment, please" I said and she sighed.

"How are we suppose to avoid this?" she asked. Their it is, her way of trying to find another way out. She gets so worried about money and we really are fine.

"Our medical insurance covers it, just like Callies therapy and ours. We have insurance for a reason, and we are fine financially." I said and she sighed that her attempt of getting out of it was shot down.

"One appointment?" I asked and she sighed but nodded.

"Thank you" I said kissing her cheek. I just want to make sure everyone in this family is ok and it's hard when we seem to attract bad luck. A little hope would be nice right now, but currently she's sleeping and not doing us any good.

**Should I have Stef have PPD or just 'the baby blues'. Leave a review and let me know. PPD is more serious and would take months (probably five chapters in our time) to solve, and baby blues would take weeks (probably two more chapters) so let me know. **


	25. Chapter 25

Stef

We went to our marriage counseling appointment and she grabbed my hand too make sure I was ok.

"Hey it's good to see you guys again. Was the baby born?" he asked and I nodded.  
>"Yes March 9th, Brayleigh Lea Adams Foster" I said and he smiled.<p>

"Congratulations. She letting you sleep?" he asked.

"Between her and her mom not really" Lena said only half serious. Thanks for that, Lena.

"You having trouble sleeping?" he asked me.

"A little bit. I haven't had nightmares just can't sleep." I said and he nodded.

"Why do you think that is?" he asked and I shrugged.

"Any ideas?" he asked Lena.

"I think she's overwhelmed." Lena said patting my knee. I know she's trying ensure I have too talk about what's going on with Brayleigh. I still can't believe that she is making me go too an appointment with a psychiatrist. PPD? Even if he doesn't think I have it he will want too see me again. I have a lot going on and he's going too want too see me again.

"What's overwhelming you?" he asked me and I decided too try and lighten the mood.

"Five teens and a newborn" I said half jokingly and he smiled at me.

"Well that certainly is stressful but it's more than that isn't it?" he asked. Damn therapists, why are they so good at reading people.

"Um… I'm not feeling really connected too Brayleigh." I admitted and he nodded.

"That's normal. You have been though a lot, it's normal too be overwhelmed by it all. I recommend taking a little bit of time each day fifteen too thirty minutes too just relax by yourself. You need a little bit of time too yourself too not go crazy and I mean by yourself" he said looking at Lena who nodded.

"Also you're not working right now right?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yes i'm on maternity leave for sixth months" I said and he nodded. I could have taken a year off but me and Lena agreed that I would loss my sanity by than.

"Ok good. I want you too try and have time alone with not only Brayleigh but the rest of you're kids and family. Doing whatever but a little bit of one on one time could really help make you get back to normal routine. Make you get a deeper bound with them which could really help you at a time like this" he said and i nodded.

"Now how have you been with everything going on recently?" he asked Lena and I looked over at her.

"Well I'm fine. I'm just worried about Stef. I want her too be happy and I don't think, I know she's not." she said and I looked down.

"Is that true, Stef?" he said and I shrugged.

"Are you feeling any disconnection with Brayleigh?" he asked Lena and she shook her head.  
>"She's feeling a bit jealous sometimes" i said and she sighed. Throw me under the bus and I will do the same.<p>

"Jealous of what?" he asked and I looked over at her.

"Sometimes I get jealous that Stef is her birth mom." she admitted and he looked shocked.

"Why do you think you feel that way?" he asked and I realized that we never told him about Frankie.

"I got preeclampsia and lost our daughter Frankie sixth months ago" she said and he looked shocked. He had a look on his face that said, 'Man you guys have had a rough year'.

"Oh i'm sorry too hear that. Well that definitely adds a variable too the conversation." he said looking like he doesn't even know were too begin. You know we have a complicated life when we stump our therapist.

Mariana

I was upstairs listening to music when I heard Brayleigh start to cry. Guess I had it too loud, I turned it off and went over to her. Moms are at their appointment, and Gram is attempting to make dinner. I went over to her and picked her up.

"Hey there sweetie." I said and headed downstairs to get her her milk. Gram saw me coming down and sighed. She had her hands covered in cheese and I laughed.

"I got her" I said grabbing the milk from the fridge. I sat down and fed her and gram just watched me.

"You are way too young to be good at that." She said and I laughed. I just shrugged in response.

"Don't get any ideas, having a baby is better when you can give it back to its parents" she said and I laughed.

"I know I won't" I said.

"That and my daughter would kill you" she said and we both laughed.

Lena

We got home from therapy and supper was just about done.

"Oh how nice we get home and supper is practically on the table" I said and Stef laughed.

"Don't talk so soon it's my moms cooking" Stef whispered to me.

"I can hear you" Sharon said and Stef laughed.

"I love you and all but your cooking is not your strong suit" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Her cooking really isn't that bad" I said and Stef gave me a look of 'are you kidding me?'

"You do realize that we have been dating for 12 years and you don't have too kiss up too her anymore." she said whispering too me and I played slapped her.

"Stop it" she said and I went up too go check on Brayleigh. She was awake and I picked her up and took her downstairs. I smiled as she fell asleep in my arms.

"Hey their Bray" Sharon said playing with her feet.

"Not even a week old and she already has a nickname" Stef said. We passed her around while people were eating. After supper I called the number too set up an appointment for Stef too see a psychiatrist.

I had Brayleigh in my arms and used my shoulder too keep the phone against my ear.

"Hello this is Lena Adams Foster i'm calling too make an appointment for my wife Stefanie Adams Foster with Dr. Johnson" I said when I finally got someone. I was on hold when Stef came downstairs too get Bray from me.

"Oh thank you" I said handing her too Stef.

Once I finally finished the call I wrote down the appointment on the calendar. The appointment is on April 3rd, I was hoping I could get her in sooner but they are swarmed.

Stef

I took Brayleigh from Lena since she looks busy. I know she is calling too make an appointment for me too see a psychiatrist which is the last thing I want but oh well.

"Hey mama thinks mommy is going crazy but you don't, do you?" I said and she just cood quietly.  
>"See I knew I liked you for a reason" I joked and sat on the bed. I put her on the bed laying her on her back. I played with her feet and she squirmed around.<p>

"I know i'm not being a very good mom right now, i'm sorry. I'm glad you are too young too notice. It's not you through, I promise" I said in a baby voice.

"You are so loved" I said picking her up and rocking her to sleep.

**Sorry about the wait, that it's really short, and that the chapter sucks. Writers block is terrible thing to have. Next chapter should be better (no promises). Hope it wasn't too bad.**


	26. Chapter 26

Sharon

I know Stef and Lena aren't the best right now, i'm not blind. They need a night away from it all.

"Come on you guys need a date night" I said and they looked over at each other.

"Mom" Stef complained.

"Relax honey, i'm just saying it is important to keep the spark alive." I said winking at her. Lena laughed but her wife didn't seem as pleased by that.

"Mom" she said sounding annoyed.

"It's important, trust me I know. It's part of the reason me and you're dad fell apart" I said and she glared at me.

"Mom!" she said looking mortified.

"What we are all adults here" I said and she pointed at Brayleigh who was in Lenas arms.

"She is a week and four day old, she is entertained holding onto the strings on Lenas sweatshirt. All i'm saying is it's important for you guys too be connecting romantically." I said and Lena was trying not to laugh at her wifes discomfort.

"Honey she has a point" Lena said and Stef looked over at her.

"I'll let you too talk about it" I said taking Brayleigh from Lenas arms.

Lena

I tried not to laugh at how much Sharon and Stef are alike. They both find it amusing too tease their kids about sex. Stef looked mortified and rubbed her back.

"She's just teasing you." I said. "You do it too the kids all the time."

"Yeah well she can stop. What is that about us needing it?" she said and I smiled at her.  
>"Well we could use a date night." I said and she sighed.<br>"I'm not really ready… for that yet" she said awkwardly and I laughed.

"I know, babe. Realistically that wouldn't even have happened. I mean we could use a date night. As in a dinner date and then a walk along the beach and coming back home too make out for a bit before falling asleep in each others arms date." I said knowing she's not ready for sex physically yet.

" What about Brayleigh?" she asked.  
>"It's not like we haven't been away from her. She is perfectly capable of taking care of a baby. She says you're dad is the one that dropped you" I joked and she rolled her eyes play slapping me.<p>

"You're so funny. That sounds nice" she said and I smiled at her.

"Good. I'm sure Sharon will be thrilled she gets some one on one time with her baby." I joked since she has been drooling over her since she first saw her. Her and Mariana both.

We went to our favorite restaurant that we went to for our first official date. I got to the table before her and pulled her chair out for her. She smiled at me like 'ok then.' She's not used to it, it actually makes her a little uncomfortable. She wasn't really ever romanced before meeting me. She more than deserves to be romanced, she needs it.

"You look beautiful" I said and I can tell she doesn't believe me.

"I know you don't believe me but you are the most beautiful woman I ever seen." I said grabbing her hand.

"I love you" she said.

"I love you too"

Sharon

I rocked her back in forth starting to worry. She has cried for forty five minutes and I have changed her, fed her, and all that.

"Hey you want you're mommies don't you?" I asked in baby talk gently rocking her but she still screamed her little lungs out. She's definitely Stefs daughter, that's for sure. Stef used to do that too me all the time.

"Hey what is wrong, darling" I asked and Jesus came downstairs.

"She's cried for almost an hour" he said grumpily.

"Oh yes because i'm enjoying it" I said bitterly.

"Well what's wrong?" he asked and I glared at him.

"If I knew do you think she would still be crying. I have tried asking it's not like she answered" I said and she suddenly stopped.

"Oh thank god" he said but it worried me even more. She's pale and looks to be having trouble breathing. Yes something is wrong.

"I'm taking her to the emergency room" I announced and he looked at me shocked.

"What?"

"She's struggling to breath and is deathly pale i'm taking her to the ER. Call your moms" I ordered grabbing the keys and her car seat and leaving.

Lena

I laughed at her try to use chopsticks and getting frustrated that she can't get any food into her mouth. The next thing I knew she looked around and stabbed the piece of chicken and put into her mouth.

"Leave me alone I was raised on Tv dinners" she defended herself and I continued laughing. All the sudden my phone rang and I sighed picking it up. Five teenagers, a newborn and a mother in law who is trying to cook for them, I would be stupid not too. There might be a house fire for all I know.

It was Jesus calling and I picked up hoping it nothing.

"Everything ok?" I asked.

"Gram took Brayleigh too the ER" he said shocking me. What?  
>"What? We are leaving right now. What happened?" I said and Stef looked at me shocked. She got up and threw a fifty on the table.<p>

"She was crying for almost an hour and then stopped and was having trouble breathing or something." he said worrying me. Having trouble breathing?

'What's going on?" Stef asked worried.

"Sharon took Bray too the ER" I said to her. She practically ran to the car and i got into the passenger seat. I told her what hospital and she drove us down their breaking some traffic laws. You know Stef is in protective mode if she is breaking traffic laws.

"Stef she will be ok, she's in good hands. Don't get us killed" I warned her but she wasn't having it. We luckily got their without an accident and got into the ER and found Sharon.

"Where is she?" Stef asked.

"They took her back. They believe it's an allergic reaction to the formula. They have her hooked up to oxygen but they need your signature too give her the shot too reduce the swelling." Sharon said too Stef.

"Where do I sign?" She asked and Sharon pointed to the front desk.

"She has the paperwork." she said and Stef went over to her.

"I'm Stefanie Adams Foster, Where do I need to sign?" she asked and the lady calmly handed her a piece of paper and pointed to the bottom of it handing Stef a pen and she signed it.

"You should be able to see your daughter momentarily, but only family members are permitted to see her." she said looking at me. I hate when people do that.

"She's my wife" Stef said angrily. "And I want too see my daughter"

I pulled her back and made her walk away.

"Honey she is fine. They will give her a shot and the swelling will go down. We will see her in a minute." I said and tears came to my eyes.

"I didn't protect her" she said sitting down in the chair.

"Hey there was nothing you could have done. You couldn't have known she was allergic to formula" I said and Sharon sat down next to Stef.

"I should've. I'm such a terrible mom" she said.

"No you're not. You are an amazing one" I said grabbing her hand.

"She's right. You would do anything for your kids" Sharon said and the doctor came out.

"Stefanie Adams Foster" he said and Stef stood up.

"You can see her but we only want one at a time." he said and she looked over at me and I nodded telling her to go.

Stef

I was lead back to a room and inside the room was Brayleigh in a little bed and she was hooked up too oxygen machine. The sight brought tears to my eyes.

"The swelling should be down in about fifteen minutes. I will move her so you can hold her but you have to be very careful not to knock out the tubes. Once the swelling goes down family members can come into see her." he said and I nodded.

"When will we be able to take her home?" i asked sitting in the chair and he moved the machine and handed Brayleigh too me.

"Once the swelling goes down we will do some basic test to make sure she is ok and if she passes them you can take her home after that." He said and I nodded.

"What if she doesn't pass them?" I asked.

"I believe she will but if the worst does happen we will hold her here until she is well enough." he said and I nodded.

"I'll leave you two alone" he said and left. I looked down at my daughter tears coming too my eyes. She's so pale and sickly. I broke down and started crying. I have been a terrible mother and that ends now.

"I love you" I said honestly.

"I will always protect you, and you will always be loved." I promised kissing her forehead. I looked down at my daughter and finally felt something that has been way overdue. Something we have all needed for a really long time. Hope that everything is going to get better.

**Let me know what you think. So a few more chapters (probably 1-3) of newborn Brayleigh than I will skip some time. I'm thinking too where she's four (1-2 chapters of that) and then skip too were she's like 14 or 15 and have some chapters (probably five) of that. Hope you like it, thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	27. Chapter 27

Lena

We finally got to take Brayleigh home a little over two hours later. Sharon went home to be with the kids after we got into see her and we know everyone is going to be worried about her.

"I guess you aren't going to tolerate the fake stuff are ya?" Stef asked picking her up from her car seat once we got home.

"No you're gonna make mommy breast feed ya?" she said jokingly. I have barely got to hold her since she was taken to the hospital and i'm trying to push the jealousy away. I know Stef isn't doing it on purpose she's just freaked out by what happened.

"Oh thank god she's ok" Sharon said taking Bray from Stef's arms and Stef wasn't exactly happy about it. I think Stef is still in protective mode a bit and she just want to keep Brayleigh in her arms. I know this was an eye opener for Stef. I don't know what was going on with Stef beforehand but she's now acting the opposite. Almost like she's trying too make up for it. I can't count how many times she has told her she loves her in the last two hours.

"Yeah she's just gonna make me breast feed her from now on, aren't you" she said and I found myself rolling my eyes.

'Stop it!' I yelled at myself the second i realized i did it. Why am I being this jealous anyways?

"You want to hold her Lena?" Sharon said and i think she picked up on it. She gave me a look of 'I saw that' and I blushed. Sharon handed her too me and I smiled down at the sleeping little girl.

Shortly after we were inside and Sharon mouth too Mariana too do something to get Stef too leave the room and stop being obsessive.

"No because you knew she was my friend!" Mariana yelled pretending to start a fight with her brother. Stef sighed.

"Oh can you get them to stop, honey" I said and she groaned but gave in. I can tell Sharon is trying to get me alone for whatever reason.

"You know I saw that eye roll" she said and I sighed.

"Sorry" I said and she laughed.

"What's going on, darling? Are you and my daughter having problems?" she asked and I shook my head.

"No we are fine. It's just me… i'm being stupid" I said and she nodded.

"Than you are having problems, and i'm sure you're not being stupid. What is it?" she said and she has a point. If one of us is having a problem we both are, especially one like this.

"I don't know, it's just I feel jealous of her. I feel jealous that she's the birth mom" I said and she nodded and sat down patting the seat next to her.

"An outsider will never understand what it's like to lose a child, born or unborn. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling jealous but you need too talk too Stef about this. Blood doesn't make you someones mother loving them does.. You are just as much Brayleigh's mom as Stef is, just like the rest of your children." she said and hugged me.

"Being a birth mother is overrated anyways… and hurts like hell" she said and I laughed.

"Thank you" I said and she smiled at me.

"Of course, darling"

Callie

I got a message from Mel and I sighed. I hate that I'm being a part of this love triangle.

Mel:Hey beautiful how are you?

I sighed apart from the drama she has been nothing but sweet too me and it's kind of nice.

Me:My little sister just got home from ER so relieved she's ok.

I got a response back immediately.

Mel:Oh is she ok? What happened?  
>Me: allergic reaction to formula she's better now, just a scare<p>

Mel: Well at least she's ok. Can we hang out sometime?

I looked at the text and didn't know how to answer. Part of me doesn't want the drama of this love triangle but another part likes having someone that likes me. I know it's not right to lead her on being that she's not even the right gender but I still want her flirting with me. Is that so bad?

Me:I don't know have too ask moms maybe

Mel:Good it was killing me only seeing your beautiful face once a week.

Me: I'll txt you later I have a lot of hw to do.

Ok so I lied but I don't really know what to say back too that.

Mel:ok bye babe

Stef

I finally got Brayleigh back a half an hour later and I know something is wrong with Lena. I hate that we aren't in a good place and don't really have the time to talk about it.

"Can you do that in you're room?" Jesus asked at the sight of me breastfeeding and I laughed.

"Ok I will make sure from now on that every time you're sister needs nourishment i'm downstairs." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey it's nature leave her be" Lena said and he laughed.

"Yeah you are just saying that because it gives you a good view of her boobs" he said and she laughed.

"Nothing wrong with that and I can see her boobs anytime I want." She teased him and he rolled his eyes and started to leave.

"Hey you are the one that said it" she said and I laughed.

"What's going on?" I asked her and she gave me a confused look.

"Don't play stupid, love. You know what I mean." I said and she sighed.

"I just get jealous sometimes." she said sitting down next to me.

"She's your daughter too" I said simply. I'm not sure what to say to her about it. She's going to get jealous and there's nothing I can really say too change that.

"I know. I just crave that connection, you know?" she said as if she doesn't already have it.

"You mean the one you have already?" I asked and she sighed.

"No... You know what I mean" she said.

"Honey I feel the same way about Brandon and Brayleigh that I do about the twins and Callie and Jude. If Frankie was born you would have felt the same about her as the rest of our kids. It's no different, you just don't have to go through a pregnancy which trust me isn't actually fun" I said and she laughed.

"I'm sorry I get jealous. I just miss Frankie" she said drawing circles on her stomach and Frankie grabbed her pinkie.

"I miss her too. I just don't want you feeling like you're not her mom" I said putting her against my shoulder and burping her.

"I know I am...I just wish we conceived her together you know" she said and I sighed.

"I know. I do too, but she's still our baby. You are still the person that dealt with my crazy hormones while I was pregnant, and that's not an easy task..." I said and she laughed.

"...You also held my hand for 16 hours while I was in labor." I said and she laughed.

"Well you were doing the hard work" she said and I smiled at her.

"Yes but you were still there for me" I said.

"Honey I would always be there for you. Even if you almost broke my hand" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry" I said and she smiled at me.

"It was worth it because we got this little bundle of joy." She said kissing her cheek.

"Yes it was, especially when the bundle of joy isn't screaming her head off" I said and she gave me a look of 'I know right'.

"I love you" she said kissing me and Brayleigh started screaming.

"Well she's not the first kid to object to us kissing" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh don't start that" I said handing her too lena and she smiled at me.

"It's inevitable babe." she said getting up and kissing me quick before going upstairs to put her down for her nap now that she's asleep.

She came back downstairs with the baby monitor and put it on the table.

"Now that we are alone" she said seductively and I laughed. She kissed me and I pulled her down with me continuing to kiss her.

Brandon came home and we sighed.

"Is that all you do when you two are alone?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"We were just kissing and I assure you we do more" I said and he groaned.

"Wait til you have kids" I shouted after him and she laughed.

"Every time" she said and I shook my head.

"Well he can complain all he wants but this is our house and I can kiss you whenever I want" I said pulling her against me.

"Oh you can, can you?" she said laughing and I kissed her.

**Let me know what you think. **


	28. Chapter 28

Lena

Stef was in the shower and Brayleigh started crying. I went over and picked her up and she stopped immediately. I smiled so glad she wanted me. I sat down and she was smiling at me fingers in her mouth. She yawned and moved her head against my boob. For a second it seemed like she was trying to feed but if she was hungry she would let me know.

"Oh no, wrong mommy" I said jokingly and she fell asleep against me.

"I love you baby" I said.

Stef  
>I got out of the shower and laughed at what I saw. Lena was asleep with Brayleigh in her arms fast asleep too. I smiled glad she has gotten some time with her and she knows that she is just as much her mom as I am.<p>

Callie

I woke up from a nightmare and tried to calm my breathing. My first instinct was to grab my razor and cut myself but I tried to stop myself.

"No I'm better than this" I said to myself curling back up in bed.

"I won't let him win" I reminded myself.

"I won't let him when" I said again trying to override it.

"I'm stronger" I said and repeated it until I passed out.

It was the next morning and since it was saturday I decided that I will go hang out with Melony. I mean she's been nothing but nice too me and I shouldn't care about the drama. We can go and have a nice time and it shouldn't be a big deal.

"Hey so I was wondering if I can go hang out with Mel for a bit today?" I asked and they exchanged looks.

"Mel as in the girl with the words dyke and proud tattooed on her arm?" Stef asked and I sighed.

"Oh come on. You are lesbians don't go all homophobic" I said and Stef rolled her eyes.

"I'm not…" she denied.

"What you're mom means is we thought you didn't want anything to do with her because you didn't want the drama between her and that boy" Lena said for Stef.  
>"It's not a big deal, everyone has someone they don't particularly like. Besides it's not like i'm accepting a marriage proposal we are just hanging out… as friends" I said and they nodded.<p>

"Ok but you have to be in touch with us and let us know when you are coming home" Lena said and Stef chimed in.

"And it has to be before curfew" she said and I nodded.

"Got it, thanks" I said before texting Mel that I can come.

Stef

I watched as she left and turned around too Lena.

"So what do we think about that?" I asked her and she laughed.

"I think our straight daughter is being wooed by a flirtatious lesbian" she said and I laughed.

"Oh yes flirtatious lesbians they are the master manipulators, you better watch them" I said and she laughed.

"Yes we tend to be very dangerous" she joked.

"Poor Callie she doesn't stand a chance." I said and she giggled pulling me into her kiss.

"Oh yes you are very dangerous, persuasive" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes, don't act like the victim all i did was show you what you were missing out on" she whispered in my ear and I laughed pinning her against the wall.

"That you did" I said kissing her.

"Moms every time" Mariana groaned coming downstairs for lunch.

"Why does this happen every time" I groaned and Lena laughed.

"Because we have five of them" she said in a whisper and I groaned.

"Well why did we do that" I teased and Mariana rolled her eyes.  
>"Stop it" Lena said play slapping me.<p>

"So what are you doing today?" Lena asked and she rolled her eyes.

"You two are like teenagers" she said and we rolled her eyes.

"No we are like people with five teens and a newborn the more kids you have the harder it gets too get anything" I said and Mariana groaned.

"Stop" Lena said and I laughed.

"Gross."

"Don't worry she won't get anything now…" she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Besides I was just curious what you were doing today" She said and Mariana nodded.

"Nothing as of right now" she said putting some left overs in the microwave.

Callie

We went too the little pizzeria a few blocks away from my house and we talked about everything. I found myself laughing most of the time.

"We really need to do this again beautiful" she said kissing me and I ended it as soon as I can without seeming like I was pulling away. I don't like her like that but I'm afraid if I tell her that we won't be friends.

"Everything alright?" she asked and i nodded.

"Yeah just I told my moms I would be home by three we have a family game night or something" I lied and she nodded.

"Oh that's fine. I guess I should be taking you home than" she said looking at the time that's 2:50. She seemed disappointed and I felt bad. I know I shouldn't be leading her on, but it's so nice to feel wanted like that.

I got home and they looked at me shocked.

"Hey didn't think you would be home so soon" Stef said sitting up from laying with her head on Lenas lap.

"Oh yeah." I said dismissing it.

"What's going on, Cal?" Lena asked and I sighed.

"I don't like her like that and she thinks I do" I said sitting down next to them.

"Why haven't you told her that i'm sure she will understand." Lena said and I looked down not knowing how to word that.

"She's been really nice too me and It's nice you know" I said embarrassed and they exchanged a quick glance.

"Fair warning those relationships end ugly" Stef said and Lena nodded in agreement and I sighed. I'm surprised they have done this too. I really can't see either of them being in that situation.

"Oh honey. You don't need to be in a little fake relationship to be wanted. You are always wanted here. One day you will meet someone who is right for you but you don't need to pretend to like someone to get attention or feel wanted. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else, and there's nothing you shouldn't love about yourself" Lena said and I nodded. I know she's right but still.

"I know but I don't want it too end either" I said and they nodded.

"If she is your friend she won't stop being your friend just because you told her you don't like her like that." she said and I nodded.

"I know" I said ashamed I have lead her on.

"Besides it's not fair to her." Stef said and Lena nodded.

"I'm sure it's not the first time it happened to her. It's the lesbian cliche and as much as we would like to deny it we all have done it many times." Lena said and I laughed.

"How did you get out of that so quick?" Stef asked and I laughed.

"I told her I had to be back for a family game night or something" she said and they laughed.

"Well now you doomed yourself. Go call Mel and tell her the truth than get a game and drag your siblings down here" Lena said and I faked groaned. I'm not looking forward to this call.

Lena

I wasn't surprised that that happened I kind of figured that's what was going on. Mel would have to be pretty skilled too actually woo a straight girl, it's not easy that's for sure. Not unless they are drunk or in a bad situation like Callie, either way it's not really right to take advantage of. However I don't think Mel was doing it take advantage of her. I'm sure she actually thought Callie liked her or was trying to help her.

"Well i'm not surprised" Stef said agreeing with me.

"Yeah well everyone is guilty of doing at one point in time" I said and she nodded.

"Yeah pretty much every guy I ever dated" she said and I laughed.

"You were a lesbian in denial, that's bound to happen." I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Ok ninth grade Kyle Harris he had a huge crush on me and I didn't like him back but everyone else had a boyfriend so I thought I'd give him a chance and he just flirted the entire time so even though I didn't like him I let him flirt with me for like three months" she admitted and I laughed.

"How did miss captain of the girls basketball team have trouble finding a boyfriend. You would be the type of girl my friend would pull me away from and say 'get real and save yourself a heart break'" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on I was still in my awkward stage. Besides don't act like you didn't have guys all over you" she said and I laughed like she was joking.

"I didn't. I was that geek who everyone eventually ended up calling Klondike bar, we have had this conversation" I said and she sighed.

"Well that's their loss but you can't honestly tell me you didn't have someone who really liked you that you didn't like back" she said and I nodded.

"Eighth grade year before the Klondike thing started, Ben Bettinger. He had a huge crush on me and flirted with me all the time, I knew I was gay by than but let him keep going. He thought we were dating we weren't but it went on for a few months before he figured out I was gay and broke up with me and outed me too the whole school and became the worst of them all" I said and she gave me a sympathetic look.

"Well he probably still liked you all those years, secretly." she said and i laughed.

"Yeah right" I said and she sighed.

"Either way he would have been lucky too have you. I know I am" she flirted and I giggled kissing her.

Callie

I sighed mentally steeling myself for the upcoming conversation. I have no idea how she is going to react.

"Hey everything ok?" she asked worried.

"Yeah fine. I just...I need too talk too you" I said and she sighed.

"Ok" she said and I think she knows what is about to happen.

"What's going on?" she asked and I sighed. Well here goes nothing.

"I shouldn't have lead you on, I'm sorry." I started and their short silence on the other side of the phone.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I'm… straight. I don't like you like that. I just want to be friends, I'm sorry" I said and she was silent for a second before speaking again.

"It's ok. Not the first time, i'll see you at group" she said sounding obviously upset and I sighed.

"Yeah see you then" She said and I hung up before grabbing a game and getting my siblings.

'Everything go ok?" Lena asked.

"Yeah, fine." I said and Stef came out.

"Oh hey ready to loss" she teasingly asked Lena who rolled her eyes.

"One of these days you shouldn't let her win" I said so Stef couldn't hear me as she put brayleigh in her car seat and put her next to the table so if she cries she's right next to her.

"It's easier this way. She doesn't take losing very well" she said and I laughed.

"I call the dog" Mariana said.

"Do we have too? This game never ends" Jesus said and we all laughed.

"Yes we have too. We should start this tradition back up for Brayleigh" Lena said.

"She can't lift her own head yet" he said and we all laughed.

"She's still gonna beat you" Stef said and everyone laughed as Jesus rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you cheat" he said and she looked mock offended.

"Oh no, it's all pure skill" she claimed and we all rolled our eyes.

"Yeah ok" we all said including Lena as we sat down and begin playing. I'm just so glad I'm a part of this crazy big family.

**Next chapter we time travel. Brayleigh will be four (for a chapter or two then I will make her a teen.) Sorry for the wait I had writers block so bad. Let me know what you think.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Ok so I told you Brayleigh was going to be four years old but I almost forgot about the end of Stefs maternity leave drama. I'm getting ahead of myself so here is a chapter of Brayleigh sixth months old.**

Lena- sixth months later

I have loved Stef being on maternity leave even though she hates it. I know she hates not working and being stuck at home it makes her stir crazy. I know she hates feeling like a housewife (even though I'm still cooking because when Stef tried the kids asked me too nicely ask her to stop). Despite not liking being on maternity leave she loves being home with Brayleigh and I hate that I'm not home with her as much as Stef.

I looked over at Stef who is sitting helping a fussy Brayleigh stand up even though she can't even crawl yet. She is so eager to start walking she's trying too skip the crawling.

"She's always trying to go isn't she" I said and Stef laughed.

"Oh yeah but she throws a hissy fit when mommy tries to get her to crawl" Stef said kissing her head. Even at sixth months you can tell she's going to look just like Stef when she gets older. I mean like put a picture of stef at that age next too a picture of Brayleigh you would think they were twins. She squirmed from Stef causing her to fall and then tried to pull herself up next too me so I helped her.

"I guess she missed mama" she said kissing me before going in and checking on the casserole. I helped her try to walk before she got tired and curled up on me and I picked her up walking around with her until she fell asleep on my shoulder.

"What are we gonna when you go back to work in a few days" I said even though we already have hired a nanny. Her name is Justine and she is amazing with Brayleigh and has worked with kids, especially babies, since she was a teenager and had a daycare until she moved here with her husband's and hasn't gotten one going here yet so she jumped at the chance to watch Brayleigh.

"Justine is going to watch her" she said and I nodded.

"I know I mean… it's going to be hard too have you back at work. You know for Brayleigh" I said even though Justine has babysat her so many times and for long periods of time that Bray probably will handle it the best.

"Bray loves Justine and Justine treats her like the daughter she can't have" she said and she's right. Justine can't have children so Brayleigh is like her daughter.

"I know. It's just gonna be hard for us, is more like it" I said and she gave me a sad smile. I know as much as she can't wait to go back to work it's going to be hard for her to be away from her for that long. I remember how hard it was for me too get used too full work days away from her. I called Stef like twenty times which she didn't mind because she wasn't used too the whole being alone in the house. For at least seven hours the only person she was with was a newborn who was asleep most of the time.

It's also going to be hard for me too have her back at work. I took comfort knowing Stef was safe at home and Bray was safe with her and I'm not sure if i'm ready for her too being working.

"I know but it's ok. We have to do it it at some point" she pointed out and I nodded.

"I know I mean It's going to be hard having you back at work" I said and she sighed.

"I will be fine" she said but it still seems like a death sentence to me for her to go back to work.

"I know I just can't help associating you're job with every terrible thing that's happened to you." I said and she sighed.

"That's not fair a lot of terrible things have happened to me that had nothing to with being a cop. Like when I was eight and almost drowned in the ocean, that has nothing to do with being a police officer. Lots of terrible things have happened to me that has nothing to do with me being a cop" she said as if that was reassuring.

"That's not my point. My point is you're job has almost killed you many times and you are running low on lives" I said and she nodded.

"Ok you know i'm always careful." she said and I nodded.  
>"That's not always enough" I said and sighed.<p>

"I know love. I can't guarantee anything but I do everything I can too make it home too you and the kids." she said kissing me.

"I know you do" I said and she smiled at me.

"Besides it easier being that I'm a cat" she the last part louder in a voice of 'really?' and I laughed.

"What am I going to do with you?" i asked and she shrugged.  
>"I don't you probably should have thought about that before saying I do" she said and I laughed.<p>

"Oh man I missed my chance" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"You're stuck with me now" she said and I laughed kissing her.

Stef

I know Lena is worried about me going back to work but i'm ready to be back. Don't get me wrong I'm gonna miss Brayleigh to death but it's time for me to get back to work. I can't handle much more of this housewife situation.

The day got here and it was bittersweet. I'm glad to be getting back out there and can't wait to see the guys again but I don't want to leave Bray and Lena is (despite her attempts to hide it) an emotional mess about me going back. Justine got to the house a half an hour before I have to leave which we both appreciate.

"Hey you ready for your first day back?" she asked me picking up Brayleigh.

"Yes and no" I said and she laughed.

"Oh yeah it's always a rough first day but she will be fine i assure you. My phone will be on so if you need to call me I should be able to pick up." she said and we both nodded our thanks.

"Thanks and both our phones will be on if anything happens. The emergency numbers are on the fridge and she has bottles of milk in the fridge" I said and she nodded.

"Got it there shouldn't be a problem" she said and I smiled at her.

"Feel free to help yourself too some breakfast" Lena said too Justine putting eggs, bacon and pancakes down for the kids.

"Oh you don't have too…"

"Oh please it's the least we can do, would you like a cup of coffee" she said politely.  
>"Oh yes please thank you" she said and I took Bray from her arms wanting to be with her a bit before i leave and letting Justine eat.<p>

"Stef go eat" Lena said putting Bray into her play pen. I ate a pancake and some bacon quick before picking her back up and Lena smiled at me.  
>"It's going to be ok today" she said and I nodded.<p>

"I know i'm just gonna miss her." I said as Brayleigh accidentally grabbed my walkie talkie turning it on.

"Hello" said Henry and I picked up the walkie talkie.

"Sorry false alarm Brayleigh thought it was a toy." I said and I can tell he was annoyed.

"Promise me you will be extra careful today and call me during your lunch break" Lena said and I kissed her walkie talkie still in hand out of reach from Bray. I kept my gun and taser at work for obvious reasons.

"Ok mommy has to go, hug" I said and she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tight.

"Good now you are going to have a lot of fun with Justine, ok?" I said kissing her cheek and for some crazy reason waited for an answer.

"Ok I don't know why I thought she would answer me" I said and Lena laughed as Justine took her from me.

"Ok come on kids we should be going." Lena said and everyone grabbed their backpack and headed out the door. I went over and kissed Brayleigh one last time and Brandon came over at Lenas orders and ushered me out. On Lena's first day away from Brayleigh I did the same to her.

"Ok i'm going" I said and heard Justine laugh as I looked back at Brayleigh before being pushed though the door.

I got to work and their was a welcome back sign and I laughed as David attacked hugged me.

"Finally don't you dare go on maternity leave again. It felt like you were gone for like six months" he joked and I rolled my eyes.

"It was and don't worry i'm not planning on being pregnant again." I said and jack patted me on the shoulder.

"Well we missed ya. Who else are we suppose too make fun of?" he said and I rolled my eyes.

"I missed you guys too, who else am I supposed to out shoot, and out do in everything" I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah and who is gonna tackle Mike too the floor?" David asked laughing and Mike took a step back.

"Lets have that be a one time situation" he said and everyone laughed.

"Well it's nice to have you back" Captain said.

"It's nice to be back." I said and raced Jack too the police car for driving position.

"I love my job" Captain said to herself as if reminding herself.

"I'm not a babysitter" she reminded herself and I laughed.

"Huh I'm driving" I said holding the keys up and he rolled his eyes.

"No running in the station" she said and we both smiled sheepishly.

"Yes mom" we joked and she rolled her eyes. It was great too be back but I missed Brayleigh so much but after calling Justine twice Jack confiscated my phone and only gave it back to me for lunch break so I can call Lena. I know she is worried sick about me but we will get back into a normal routine soon enough and everything will go back too how it's suppose to be.

**Let me know what you think, next chapter Brayleigh is four.**


	30. Chapter 30

Stef- 4 years later

I ran after Bray and swooped her up before she runs across the street into traffic. My heart is racing and Lena came running over seeing it. Brayleigh was laughing having no idea that she just almost ran into traffic. I set her down on the floor and she laughed.

"Again" she said thinking it's the game were I pick her up and swing her around. I kneeled down so we were at eye level with each other.

"Honey I know you were playing but we need to be careful by the streets" I said and she sensed my seriousness.

"I'm sorry mommy" she said and I sighed.

"You just scared me, baby. Come on lets play inside" I said picking her up and swinging her around really quick and she laughed again. I exchanged looks with Lena. I could tell she was just as scared as I was.

"Is sissy Mari and Callie coming?" she asked and Jude came downstairs.

"Sissy Callie is, Mari is busy so she will come tomorrow. B and Jesus are coming" I said to her.

"Yay sissy Callie" she said happily and ran off too go play with her toys. The door opened and Brandon came in.

"B" Bray said running and hugging him.

"Hey princess" he said to her.  
>"Hey B" I said hugging him. It's his sophomore year in college and he goes too a college a half an hour away so even though he doesn't live here anymore he visits regularly. Callie is in her sophomore year too, and she goes to a college fifty minutes away so she doesn't come out as often but we still get to see her for family get together. Mariana and Jesus are in their freshman year and Mariana goes to college almost two hours away and so unfortunately couldn't make it tonight because she has class early in the morning. Jesus goes too the same college Brandon goes too so we see him often too (especially since he comes to steal our food). Jude lives with us still and is in his junior year of high school.<p>

"Hows college going?" I asked him as he hugged Lena.

"Oh it's going" he said and we laughed.

"Hows preschool?" Brandon asked.

"It's going" she said and we all laughed.

"Oh yeah preschool is rough" he joked and we all laughed.  
>"I have to learn the alphabet" she complained and we all laughed.<p>

"Oh just you wait" he said ruffling her hair.

Callie came in and Bray ran up too her.

"Callie" she ran to her and Callie leaned down and picked her up.

"Brayleigh. Hows my big girl doing?" she said and flipping her upside down and Bray was giggling.

"Good" she said.

"Hows four feel?" she asked since her fourth birthday was three days ago. How has it been four years already. Seems like just yesterday she was born, seems like me and Lena were competing to get Brayleigh too call us mama before the other. Bray said mama first with Lena and I unfortunately missed it but was secretly kind of happy she called Lena it first. Lena still feels a little insecure that she's not Braleigh's birth mom and even though she doesn't bring it up she wishes we conceived her together. Can't blame her I feel the same. We both do our best to try too not think about that.

"Great" she said as Callie put her down.

"I'm this many" she said holding up three fingers. Jude finally taught her to hold up how many finger she is just in time for her too turn four so she's wrong again.

"No Bray one more because you are one more year remember" he said holding up four fingers but she still held up three and we all laughed.

Lena

Brayleigh looks more and more like Stef every day and I couldn't be happier. She is Stefs spitting image and she is so cute. I put her in the cutest blue dress and her long blonde hair is up in braids. Even though she looks just like Stef she is just like me, Stef claims. Stef claims Brayleigh is exactly like me personality wise and she loves that. She has qualities of both me and Stef because she definitely has Stef's stubbornness and hot temperedness.

Once everyone got here we sat down for a nice supper and Stef cut up Brayleigh's food for her.

"Hows your dad doing?" she asked Brandon when conversation died down.

"Pretty good. You haven't seen him at work?" he asked.

"Not long enough to actually talk" she explained.

"Well he's doing pretty good." Brandon said and little Brayleigh looked confused.

"What's wrong, darling?" I asked her.

"Who's dad?" she asked confused. At four years old she's just starting to catch on that other people have a mom and a dad. She was with two moms her entire life she didn't know anything else.

"My dad, honey. Mikey" B said to her since she knows Mike.

"Mikey is dad?" she asked as if she is figuring out this amazing plot twist or something.

"Yeah Mike is my dad" B said and me and Stef exchanged worried looks. From experience I know how this conversation will end. I know Stef isn't ready for it to be brought up yet. I grabbed her hand knowing it's inevitable.

"Who's my dad?" she asked and an awkward silence fell over the room.

"Uh… Mike is, honey" Stef said just trying to figure out a way to claim it's anyone but who it really is. She gave me a look of sorry but I know why she is doing it so I shook my head. This is going to bite us in the bite one day but hopefully no time soon.

"Really?" she asked excited. Stef gave the kids a look of don't correct me. Everyone just sat in an awkward silence for the rest of the dinner.

After everyone left Jude was upstairs doing whatever and Brayleigh fell asleep on me.

"I'm sorry about that?" Stef said lifting my feet and sitting under them.

"No it's ok, I get it" I said and she nodded.

"I just wish there didn't need to be a dad" she said agreeing with me.

"Their doesn't have to be. We are her parents she knows that." I said rubbing Bray's back as she slept peacefully.

"I know but there's always going to be a need for them too know who their birth parents are. It's one thing now when she thinks Mike is her dad but what about when she figures out the truth. One of these days when she's all grown up she's going to figure out Mike isn't her dad and she's going to be asking questions. What are we going to do than?" she said and i sighed.

"We'll figure that out when it happens, it will be ok" I said trying to reassure her. I hope Stef understands one of these days we will have to tell her who her birth father is.

"Well I guess I should let Mike know I signed him up as her father" she said and I laughed.

"Yeah maybe you should have run that by him first" I said and she rolled her eyes.  
>"I panicked" she said.<p>

"Haven't you seen movies? You should have just told her her dad is a war hero or something" I said and she gave me a disgusted look.

"Yeah well that is a huge honor to give the asshole" she said and I sighed.

"You just make up a guy" I said. "Forget I said anything"

She sighed and walked into the other room.

Stef

I know I shouldn't have said Mike but I wasn't going to tell her the truth obviously and i would never give him the an honor of calling the scum of the earth a hero. It's a word that should be reserved for people who do great things for other people.

"Hey everything ok?" He asked.

"Yeah fine just I may have told Brayleigh that you are her... dad" I said and I heard him sigh.

"What?" He asked.

"I panicked. You were the first half decent guy I could think of at the time. Granted we were talking about you at the time so it wasn't to much of a stretch" I said.

"Oh thanks. Half decent guy in comparison to her actual birth father shouldn't I be more than half decent" she said and I sighed.

"Ok sorry, decent. Look can you just play along?" I asked.

"I guess so, is Lena ok with that?" He asked.

"She understands, it was kind of the only solution." I said hoping she does understand.

Lena

Mike came over because Brayleigh was asking us if he could. It's a good thing Mike is willing to play along with this whole dad thing.

"Mikey" she said and ran to hug him like she does too everyone that comes into the house, even if she doesn't know them.

"Hey there kiddo. How was your day?" he asked.

"Good we went to the park" she said happily.

"Awesome sounds like fun" he said and then they went outside to play. Mike ended up chasing after her which Stef loved because that's normally her job. When we finally got her into bed a few hours later she hugged us both.

"You have fun today?" I asked.

"Yeah I haven't seen Mikey in a long time" she said and I love that she is still just calling him Mikey.

"He's been busy. Did you ask us to invite him because of what I told you the other night?" Stef asked and she looked confused.

"What did you tell me the other night? I just haven't seen uncle Mikey in forever" she said and we exchanged looks. Uncle Mikey? Guess the dad thing didn't last long.

"Love you mommies" she said laying down tired and we kissed her head.

"Love you too, honey" I said and Stef repeated after me. Hopefully she doesn't wonder about her dad again for a long time.

**Let me know what you think. Please keep reviewing or I won't be motivated to write. Hope you like it. Next chapter teenage years.**


	31. Chapter 31

Brayleigh (fifteen years old)

I slammed the door and laid down on my bed that used to be my older sisters Mariana's. I don't normally fight with mama (although me and mom argue like cats and dogs) but she's pissing me off today. I don't understand we they both feel the need to protect me from literally everything. I know i'm there 'baby' but i'm not a baby anymore so they can cut it out. All I wanted to do is go to an under 21 club to dance with some friends and it's like I asked them if I can start stripping for extra money.

"Brayleigh Lea Adams Foster you don't walk away from your mom like that" Mom said and I groaned. I didn't think she was going to be home for another hour.

"I didn't you weren't here" I said before I even realized it came out of my mouth. I didn't mean it I am just mad. Mom came into my room looking pissed.

"Excuse me you don't say that about your mom" she said and I sighed.

"I didn't mean it, it just came out" I said and she gave me a serious look.

"It doesn't matter you apologize. Just because she was the one that said no doesn't mean she is the only one that came to the conclusion. I agree with her." she said and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm mad at you to" I stated and she rolled her eyes.

"Honey did you really think we would let you go?" she said sitting next to her.

"What is the big deal it's just a dance" I said and she laughed.

"We were teenagers at one point too we know what is going to be their" she said and I rolled my eyes.  
>"Mom do you have any idea how much has changed in the last fifty years" I joked and she rolled her eyes.<p>

"It hasn't been fifty years!" She denied and I laughed.

"Besides you are not in the position to be making jokes, are you?" she asked and I rolled my eyes.  
>"Mom this really is an under 21 club their isn't alcohol or drugs" I said honestly.<p>

"Besides are you saying you don't trust me?" I asked and she laughed.  
>"There's a difference between not trusting and being realistic. Teens get pressured into drugs and alcohol all the time. Besides I have personally busted that club for illegally selling alcohol to teens before" she said and I groaned. Why does my mom have to be a cop? I know by now their is no chance i can go so I gave up on trying and just decided to be trying to get myself out of trouble.<p>

"I didn't know that" I said honestly and she crossed her arms and gave me her stern look.

"No really I didn't know that they did that. Erica just told me it was an under 21 club she probably doesn't know that either." I said and she sighed.

"Ok fine go apologize to your mom that was uncalled for." she said and I sighed before going to apologize too mom.

Lena

It's not the first time I have gotten the 'you're not my mom' line before but it still hurts. I have gotten a few times with Brandon and it's not Brayleighs first time of saying it either. Jesus yelled at Stef saying that once but it's mostly me. The twins and Callie and Jude never really did that maybe because neither of us are their birth mom and they know what it's like to not have a mom. I remember when Jesus accidently said it he was more upset than Stef was (and she was upset about it of course) because he thought we would send him away.

A little while after Stef went up to talk to her Brayleigh came down and I could tell immediately she was sorry.

"I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry" she said sincere. Just like her mom I could always tell when Bray feels bad about something.

"I know you are honey" I said hugging her.

"So am I grounded?" She asked and I laughed.

"I'll talk to mom" I said and she groaned.

"Do you have to?" She asked and Stef came downstairs.

"Yes I have to." I said laughing.

"So how about a movie and junk food" Stef said. We used to watch movies and eat junk food a lot when she was a child. Every time something went wrong its we used to do to make it better.

"I guess" Brayleigh said like 'if I have to'. I know she wants to but it's not as fun as going out tonight.

"Yeah well you aren't going out, especially not looking like that" Stef said and Brayleigh rolled her eyes. She was wearing a low cut shirt and short shorts.

"Looking like what?" She asked.

"Dressed like that, you're too young to be dressing like that" Stef said gesturing to her clothes.

"I'm fifteen, mom" she complained.

"Exactly you're too young. You're still a baby" she said and Bray rolled her eyes.

"I'm fifteen mom" she complained.

"You will always be our baby" Stef said and she groaned.

"Now what junk food do you want?" I asked and she laughed.

"Oh brownie sundaes?" she asked and I laughed.

"Nice lets see if I have everything" I said before going and seeing that we have everything for a good brownie sundae and Stef pulled up Netflix and found us a movie on there. Brayleigh helped me make the brownies and we put them in the oven and then went to watch the movie just like when she was a kid.

Callie

I sat Sean into the seat in the grocery cart.

"Mom!" He whined.

"Sean no matter how much you whine I will not buy you chocolate to make up for the fact that you had to go grocery shopping" I said and he sighed.

"You gave me a chocolate bar the last time" he pouted.

"It was Valentine's Day" I argued as I grabbed some fruit.

"Today is national mom buys son chocolate day" he said and I laughed.

"Good try" I said and a woman laughed.

"Oh that's a good one, sport" she said and then I realized it was Melanie.

"Mel?" I asked.

"It's so nice to see you again" she said and I smiled.

"You too" I said and put back the peas I originally put in the cart that he put back.

"Oh I don't blame you. I hate peas too" she said and I laughed.

"Still a bad influence" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Never" she said.

"We really should hang out sometime" she said and I agreed.

"Here the bottoms my cell call me sometime" she said handing me her business card.

"Thanks I will" I said.

"See ya, buddy. Can't wait to talk to you" she said winking at me and then left.

"Who was that mommy?" Sean asked.

"An old friend of moms" I said.

"Am I going to see daddy today?" He asked and I sighed. His dad and I recently went through a divorce and he hasn't come through with any of his visitations since then.

"Oh no honey daddy's busy" I said and he looked sad.

"He's busy a lot isn't he?" He asked and I kissed his forehead.

"Yeah baby. You will see him soon" I said and he still looked upset.

"Hey tell you what. Why don't we make brownies tonight?" I said and he lit up.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes if you be good and smile for me" I said tickling him and he screamed of laughter. A couple looked over at me and I smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry" I said and then laughed grabbing a few more things before going too check out. We went home and made brownies and he fell asleep on me on the couch while watching a rerun of Sesame Street. I picked him up and put him into bed glad I have him through everything.

Mariana

Aliza ran up too me and hugged me.

"Hey honey how was your day?" I asked picking her up and kissing her cheek.

"Good mommy let me watch cartoons" she said and I looked over at Sarah. (Ignore my story inception I couldn't help myself).

"She did?" I asked looking at her and she sighed. We normally don't let her watch cartoons until after supper and only if she was good.

"Yes Aliza got an A on her spelling test so I thought I would let her watch an episode." she said and I nodded.

"Good job, you're so smart" I said putting her down and she ran back to the tv. I sighed, if we let her she would watch tv all day and that's not good for her.

I finally got to kiss Sarah.

"So how was your day?" I asked her and she smiled.

"Pretty good. I got done at noon" she said.

"That's great" I said grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.

"Oh by the way Bray came over today" she said and I looked over at her shocked. We live almost thirty minutes away from her house and she doesn't have a licence.

"How did she even get here?" I asked.

"Bribed a friend into giving her a ride." She said putting some chicken on the stove.

"Did she say why she was here?" I asked.

"Uh no. She wanted to talk to you about something or other. She hanged out with Bray for a bit before leaving asking me to ask you to call her" she said. Why would she come over without calling me? She knows i'm mostly at work until five and why didn't she ask moms for a ride?

"That's weird" I said and got out my phone to call her.

"Hey I heard you stopped by. Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Yeah fine. Just I wanted to talk to you about something" she said trailing off and I think she left a room or something so moms wouldn't hear it. Oh great, this is always good.

"About what?" I asked.

"About my birth father, my real birth father" she said saying the worst possible thing she could. Great what am I suppose to say.

"What?" I asked dumbfounded by the sudden question.

"I know Mike isn't my birth father so who is?" she asked and I groaned.

"Brayleigh why haven't you asked moms about this?" I asked and she sighed. Sarah looked at me like 'this can't be good'.

"Oh come on, don't act like you think they would actually tell me the truth" She said and she has a point.

"Brayleigh" I said not sure what to say.  
>"Come on you were my age when my mom got pregnant with me. You have to know something" she said and I groaned.<p>

"Brayleigh I don't know what to tell you Mike is your birth father." I said and she sighed.

"I'm not stupid. Why would mom want to have a baby with her ex husband's?" I asked and I thought back on why we picked a friend of ours to be the sperm donor.

"To know the family history and make sure they aren't giving you a high chance of health problems" I said and I know she's not buying it.

"Please I know that's just one of the reasons you are using a known sperm donor." She said.

"Well I'm sure they had the same reasons" I argued.

"Why would they even want to have a baby when they had five kids" she said and I sighed.

"They never got to raise a baby together." I tried but she is still not going to believe me.

"Mama wanted a baby and got pregnant with Frankie. Why wouldn't she have been the one who got pregnant?" She asked me and I sighed.

"Bray you need to ask moms about this." I asked not wanting to have this conversation.

"Come on Mariana I know Mike isn't my birth father and I know you know who it is" she said.

"Brayleigh trust me birth parents are over rated. Stef and Lena are our moms genetics doesn't matter" I said and she sighed.

"I know that I'm not questioning that. I just want to know who my birth dad is" she said and I know how she feels.

"Ask moms" I said and she sighed.

"Ok fine." She said and I hung up.

"What was that about?" Sarah asked.

"Brayleigh is asking about her birth father" I said and Sarah gave me a look of 'oh god'. Sarah knows the whole drama.

"Oh poor Stef and Lena." She said and I felt bad telling her to ask moms but I would feel bad not telling moms she asked me.

"Yeah I'll warn Lena" I said and got out my phone to text her.

Me: Bray asked me who her birth dad is, just a warning

Her: great I thought this was coming I'll talk to her thanks for letting me know

Lena

Great now I have to have this conversation with her. I know now is the best time, Stef is at work. Maybe it's best to have this conversation with her and get her to understand and then not ask questions too Stef.

**Let me know what you think. Sorry I couldn't ignore the urge to throw in some Experimenting into this story. Hope you like it.**


	32. Chapter 32

Brayleigh

I know Mariana wants me too talk too moms about it but I know they are going to tell me the truth. Everyone keeps like Mike is my birth father and it almost seems like they are in denial about what actually happened. What could possibly be the big deal?

There was a knock on the door and I took out my headphones.

"Come in" I said and Lena came in.

"Hey can we talk?" she asked and I swallowed hard. Great Mariana told moms. She sat down on my bed which is Mariana's old bed.

"Uh sure. What's up?" I asked not sure what to expect from this conversation.

"Mariana told me you went to her house today…" she started and I sighed.

"Yeah wanted to see Aliza." I said and it wasn't a lie. I haven't seen Aliza in such a long time.

"She told me you were asking about your birth father" she said and I sighed.

"Yeah. I'm not stupid I know it's not Mike" I said and she nodded.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Mom really wanted to have a baby by her ex-husband's? Come on?" I said and she sighed.

"Why can't I know who he is? Why is it a big deal?" I asked and she sighed.

"Honey he's not really a good guy…" she said. What does she mean by that? It's not like I'm gonna go searching for him. I just want to know.

"What does that mean?" I asked frustrated and she seems as frustrated as I am.

"He's just not a good guy and so we don't really talk about him" she stated still avoid answering me.

"What did he do?" I asked. Not a good guy? Just because he has a bad past with moms doesn't mean I shouldn't know who he is.

"We will talk about this later, ok?" she said and I know she is trying to stall me. What could he have done that is so bad, that she can't just tell me.

"I have a right to know who my dad is" I yelled angrily.

Lena

I know that she wants to know who her dad is but I don't feel right telling her without talking too Stef.

"I understand that. I need too talk too mom about it and than we can talk about it. Oh and don't raise your voice at me" I said and she sighed frustrated.  
>"Supper will be done in an hour." I told her before going downstairs to make supper.<p>

Stef finally came home and I steeled myself for the upcoming conversation.

"Hey love" she said kissing me and then going and getting a beer from the fridge.

"Wheres the princess" she joked. She's stubborn and if she doesn't get way it normally leads to a fight. She's just like Stef which is why they fight all the time. Me and her's personality works better together than hers and Stef's and it will always be that way.

"In her castle locked away" I joked and I know she can sense something was going on.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

"She went too Mariana and asked about who her birth father is" I said and she paused mid-sip.

"She did?" She asked and I know she is trying to cover up the fact that she is upset. She tries to act like the subject doesn't upset her but I know it does. We avoid bringing up the subject at all costs. It seems Stef almost fell into the delusion that Brayleigh's birth dad is Mike. It seems she has convinced herself a little bit that Mike was our sperm donor. Me and Mike has realized years ago that the Mike being father lie is more for Stef than for Brayleigh. I think even Bray has picked up on it years ago. I think she knew for a while that Mike wasn't her dad and sensed that it was more for her mom so she played along in the belief.

"Yeah I talked to her and told her I had too talk too you before saying anything" I said.

"You talked to her without me?" she asked sounding mad and I said.

"I didn't tell her anything. I told her we will talk to her together." I said and she sighed.

"Honey we knew this day was coming" I said. "It will be ok."

"Are we telling her the truth?" she asked and I know she really doesn't want too. I sighed pulling her into a hug.

"We need too, babe" I said and kissed her. I know this is ruining her delusion for her but this has to happen sometime.

Brayleigh

They knocked on my door and I groaned. They probably won't even tell me the truth. I know if I tell them to go away it will make matters worse though.

"Come in" I said and they came in. I can tell they both, especially Stef, are dreading this conversation.

"Hey" I said awkwardly and they sat down joining me on the bed.

"So I guess the day finally came where we have this conversation with you." Lena said.

"Ok so who is my birth father?" I asked and I saw Lena take Stef's hand.

"You're right Mike isn't your birth father..." She said and I can tell mama is worried about how mom will take this.

"The truth is your father isn't a sperm donor..." She started. Wait that doesn't make sense. They were together for ten years when they got pregnant with me. How could it be anything but a sperm donor?

"What? Did you have an affair or something?" I asked because it's the only thing that makes any sense. If she had an affair and got pregnant by it why would mama still be with her.

Both Mom and Mama looked shocked at the accusation.

"What? Your mom didn't have an affair!..." She started as if that's not the only thing that makes sense.

"How else could she get pregnant with you? That makes no sense" I yelled.

"Don't yell at your mom like that, and don't you dare accuse your mom of that" mama yelled surprising me. She's not huge on yelling but I know I crossed a line there.

"I'm sorry." I said and then looked at mom.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for." I said feeling bad. I shouldn't have said that but this doesn't make sense.

"It's ok, I know it may seem like that. I never could do that to your mom." Mom said.

"I'm sorry, really" I said sincerely.

"How would you have gotten pregnant then?" I asked still confused. I watched as mama rubbed moms leg and I'm starting to get the feeling this isn't good.

"It wasn't..." I said and she paused.

"...consensual" she said and no matter how many times I have wondered about my dad or how many times I have noticed that she seemed to cling to the delusion of Mike being my dad more than I do I never thought for a split second that that's what happened. Rape? No how is that even possible? Why would she keep me?

"What?" I asked tears in my eyes and I hugged her. My father is really a rapist?

"How?" I asked. My mom is that last person I would picture as being a victim of any crime, let alone rape.

"There was a rapist loose in California and he was in San Diego. He stalked me and got me to his old house by not pulling over. He threatened to kill your mom and siblings and I didn't know that he didn't have a partner holding them so I did what he asked" she said sadly. Now that I can believe, unfortunately. She would do anything for her family.

An awkward silence fell over us as no one knew what to say. I feel terrible. She's been though hell and then still kept me after all that. She raised me and loved me like I wasn't the result of the worst thing that's ever happened to her. They both did. How do I repay her? Accuse her of being a cheating whore. I'm such a terrible daughter.

"Why did you keep me?" I finally got up the courage to ask. They both looked at me shocked I would even ask that question. Not many people can go though with a pregnancy after being raped and then love the baby as if it didn't happen. That's amazing.

"Because I loved you." she stated.

"I love you" I said hugging her and then hugging mama too. I know I have been a pain in the ass lately and I need to stop.

"I love you too" Mama said. "Come on lets go eat"

"Good i'm starved" I said and mama laughed.  
>"Yeah you got your moms appetite" she said jokingly and mom faked offense.<p>

"Oh please I don't want too hear it miss four pieces of pizza last night" mom joked and mama rolled her eyes.

"I had three and they weren't even that big" she defended herself.

"Oh sure, how many did she have?" Mom asked me.

"Four" I stated.

"You used too be my favorite" mama joked and I rolled my eyes.

Mel

We agreed to meet at The Place a little run down bar that will probably be closed in a few years. When we were friends in college we used too go here all the time, it was more lively than.

"Hey it's good to see you again" I said.

"You to, looks like this place has seen better days" she said sitting down looking around the empty place.

"I like it. I can get a drink without having to scream over the music" I said and she laughed.

"True. So what's going on in you're life?" she asked.

"Uh not much. I'm a third grade science teacher" I said and she looked shocked. I'm not exactly the person people assume would like working with kids but i love that.

"That's great, do you like it?" She asked and I laughed. I knew she was thinking that.

"Hate it but not because of the kids. I love them too pieces but my boss is a dick"I said and she laughed.

"Well good for you. Not that you're boss is a dick but that you like it other wise."she said and I smiled.

"Yeah so what about you?" I asked. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up for many reasons. She's straight, she's probably married and has at least one kid.

"Well i'm a photographer for weddings and stuff" she said and i knew she would end up going into something like that.

"That's great. So what's your little boy's name?" I asked.

"Sean, he is a little trouble maker." she said and I laughed.

"I saw that, who's his daddy?" I asked and she took a long sip from her drink. Trouble in paradise?  
>"His name is Mark Douglas, we are getting a divorce" she said. Knew it.<p>

"Oh i'm sorry. That's has to be hard on both of you" I said sympathetically.

"It's been coming for a long time for me, but it's really hard on Sean. His dad is never around and it's really hard on him" she said sadly.

"I'm sure. Poor guy, it's a good thing he has such a great mother too make up for it" I said and she smiled.

"I try my best. So anyone in your life?" she asked trying to get the conversation off of her.

"Oh no, me and my ex-girlfriend broke up sixth months ago" I said and she gave me a sympathetic look.

"It's ok, we weren't right together" I said hoping that we are right together. She's the only one in my life that has truly broke my heart and I want another chance.

**Let me know what you think. Please keep reviewing so I keep posting.**


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